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Thread: How do you develop a personality as a male 9w1?

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    Averroes's Avatar
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    Default How do you develop a personality as a male 9w1?

    I’m tired of just being a good listener and contributing nothing to a one on one conversation. i’d like to be capable of leaving a strong impression on someone that I admire for once
    Last edited by Averroes; 01-24-2024 at 06:24 PM.

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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Averroes View Post
    I’m tired of just being a good listener and contributing nothing to a one on one conversation. i’d like to be capable of leaving a strong impression on someone that I admire for once
    Focus on your own projects or work and what you find meaningful. Don't worry about making an impression, it happens automatically when you are on the right track in your life.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Averroes View Post
    I’m tired of just being a good listener and contributing nothing to a one on one conversation. i’d like to be capable of leaving a strong impression on someone that I admire for once
    Are you afraid of rejection or not being accepted by others? It can be scary to be your true self but trust me it's there deep down under all that jargon society told you to be. You just have to be still and listen to it. What do your gut, instincts and heart tell you? Maybe you're tired of being introspective and the listener, so try to strike up a conversation that you feel is interesting.

    Read, educate yourself on social issues, form your own opinions no matter what it is. I don't care if it's totally different from mine that shouldn't matter. Just do you. It also helps a ton to be comfortable in your own skin and express yourself authentically.

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    I say brilliant things sporadically BrainlessSquid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Averroes View Post
    and contributing nothing to a one on one conversation
    Could you elaborate on this? I'm not sure I understand your question.
    Can you tell me exactly what it is that you want?
    Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
    Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
    Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
    Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
    Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!

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    if it isn't Mr. Nice Guy Ave's Avatar
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    9s tend to view their involvement in the world/environment as something that is unwanted, as it would upset the harmony they perceive and/or strive to see.

    The work 9s need to undergo is to accept that they are part of the world and that not acting in it is still an action, albeit usually not the best action for themselves or their world.

    9s also have alot of potential energy and anger they can transform into movement. 9s usually find it helpful to tap into that energy that is slumbering in them, from what I can tell. I think it can help 9s/9 fixers to see themselves as usually "behind" on the amount of energy they invest into things, as if they are doing less, but have the potential to do more.

    That's is pretty textbook advice for 9s, but it's difficult to say more that would be helpful, provided you are a 9, without knowing more about you what want personally.
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    This reminds me of 9s.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hermes Trismegistus View Post
    Could you elaborate on this? I'm not sure I understand your question.
    Can you tell me exactly what it is that you want?
    I want to be more talkative and interesting. I like women that are talkers but can’t keep up with them or fulfill them emotionally/intellectually. I want to reverse the dynamic a bit and be someone they can admire and learn shit from

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    I say brilliant things sporadically BrainlessSquid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Averroes View Post
    I want to be more talkative and interesting. I like women that are talkers but can’t keep up with them or fulfill them emotionally/intellectually. I want to reverse the dynamic a bit and be someone they can admire and learn shit from
    Being talkative and interesting are almost mutually exclusive.
    Being interested and showing genuine appreciation usually is much powerful.
    But if you wanna sound interesting, the best way is having real life experiences. Do interesting things. And read interesting books (or at least get their summary for useful ideas and insights).
    You probably already know somebody you feel comfortable with. Learn from that experience what makes that work.
    Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
    Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
    Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
    Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
    Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!

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    if it isn't Mr. Nice Guy Ave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BrainlessSquid View Post
    Being talkative and interesting are almost mutually exclusive.
    Being interested and showing genuine appreciation usually is much powerful.
    But if you wanna sound interesting, the best way is having real life experiences. Do interesting things. And read interesting books (or at least get their summary for useful ideas and insights).
    You probably already know somebody you feel comfortable with. Learn from that experience what makes that work.
    Not wrong on principle, but the thing is that 9w1s have this problem where they don't push their talents and gifts on others and as a result others don't really see these talents and gifts. 9w1s need to learn to self-promote more, in fact this is the healthy path of growth for 9s (integration to 3).
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