Quote Originally Posted by Cassandra View Post
I think all relations are worsened by the "same second instinct, different blindspot" matches.
That includes So/Sx-Sp/Sx, as well as So/Sp-Sx/Sp, Sx/So-Sp/So.

And this is not just based on my own personal experience, anecdotal evidence and theory, but also this article:


The only kind of ITR that can work with that particular stacking match is Duality, as far as I know.
But even then, it is problematic. I know of an Sx/Sp-So/Sp duality couple, and they have to go to couple's therapy. I do not know the details, but I am pretty sure it is because their instinctual beings are the opposite.

I'm not sure how that stacking match works with Identity. It might work with an Identical, for you see things identically with one (duh ), so that evens out the instinctual mismatch of values. However, that would be even more difficult than it is the case in a Duality situation. I'd say Mirror is out, Mirror is the worst in-Quadra relation anyhow.
I see your point. However, I think you would have to least include identical in conjunction with duality working with sp/sx and so/sx. Perhaps, activity and mirror like you've mentioned are too different and not compatible enough to overcome conflicting instinctual patterns. The same goes with sp/sx and sp/so, you say it is only possible with duals or identicals, but I think this instinctual pairing has potential for within quadra including activity and mirror. A good example of that is Shaebette having a successful relationship with her mirror with the instinctual pairing of sx/sp and sx/so. This contradicts your assertion that only identical and duals can succeed with this instinctual pairing.

I think the main crux of the issue here is not necessarily the ordering of best relationship to worst for instinctual stackings, because even though I don't completely agree with it, your ordering may possibly be correct. Rather, the main issue is the limits you are are arbitrarily imposing for what can work or not work with these relationships. It is fair to rule out outside of quadra for relationship success for some stackings, but to do so for within quadra is stretching the impact that instinctual pairing has on relationships when Socionics ITR has a much stronger impact IMO.

Quote Originally Posted by Cassandra View Post
As I said before, instinctual stackings do not exist in a vacuum. If you enjoy an interaction with an So/Sx as an Sp/Sx and they are your Identical or Dual, that doesn't mean that the instinctual stacking itself is "good" or ideal. Rather, the ITR relationship makes the interaction with said stacking "better" in experience. Another way to think of it, is to see the instincts as values. Just like there are Quadra values, so there are instinctual values; the instinctual stacking is about the values of the individual, from most to least important. With an Identical or Dual, you share very similar values. That balances out the lack of matched values with a certain instinctual stacking.

That makes me wonder, which stacking do you find to be the worst for you?
And have you ever considered being possibly Sx/Sp before?
I agree with you on this part, well said. I personally find so/sp to be the worst, I feel like I'm dealing with someone that is basically the opposite of me and communicating with them is very grating. I generally get along well the best with other sp/sx. So/sx, sp/so, sx/sp and sx/so seem to be decent for me, but not necessarily good or bad with different plusses and minuses.

Sx/sp is certainly possible for me, I wouldn't rule it out completely. However, I find I do tend to worry a lot more about sp over sx. Sx related matters is something that I enjoy, but I don't really stress about it in the same way I do about sp related matters. When it comes to so matters, I am at least more indifferent to it compared to most people.

Quote Originally Posted by Cassandra View Post
I do not see why Sp/Sx - So/Sx would have more success than Sp/Sx - So/Sp. The latter match has more shared values: both value Sp and both are in the same flow; in addition, they can help each other out in their weaknesses. In the former case, both value Sx and that's it; they cannot help each other much either.

My parents are LSE-Si and ESE-Si respectively, Look-a-likes.
So sure, Socionics ITRs matter (more). If you are Duals, you can technically be any instinctual match and make it work long-term (with more or less issues or enjoyment). But my ranking is not about that, it is about the enjoyment gained from the stackings themselves. My overview looks at the stackings separately. I am pretty sure that the Sx/Sp Dual hates or is annoyed by the So/Sp occupations and concerns of his partner. I bet that if she was Sp/So, they'd have less stress and issues.
I agree with you in the sense of sp/sx and sx/so getting along better than sp/sx and so/sx and the same goes for sx/sp and so/sx getting along better than sx/sp and so/sp, that makes sense from personal experience. However, I personally find so/sp more grating than so/sx in both short term and long term interactions. I just figured that sp/sx and so/sx would have a more positive relationship because they value sx about the same even though they value sp and so completely differently rather than sp/sx and so/sp where sp, sx and so are all valued completely differently.