Quote Originally Posted by Jeremy View Post
I really dont believe in some perfect "match" between any types or instinct stacks. No one is going to come save you. If an sx/sp is dating a so/sx, the soc first vs last is a HUGE difference and if both are unhealthy, which people usually are, or average at least, it will cause a lot of strain with time because they just dont understand eachother. Im dating a so/sx right now, and right now its interesting because we are so different but with time there will probably be some strain and my mind gets blown when he says stuff like "When I was depressed I felt like I couldnt tell anyone, because then my thoughts would spread to everyone, and everyone would be depressed" (hes also 7) which is his worry about "spreading disease" to the rest of society (soc). I would never in my life think about something like that. I dont know how to comfort him with soc issues because I just dont get it.

With people having the same blindspot instinct there is a ton of more understanding and relating to eachother which is super important in a long term relationship obviously.
If both parties are healthy it would be better, but then again, only you can make yourself healthy and its by acknowledging your patterns and enneagram is a great tool made for it.
And btw, I know happily married people where both partners are sx first. I usually dont go for sx first, at least not sx/sp because they remind me of myself and because I dont like myself I go "yuck", subconsciously, just realized this lol.

I will agree with this though: a bad bad pairing is sx first with sx last because on top of the sx last not understanding the sx first at all, there is turbulence in an sx first thats not in the other instincts.
Yeah, as far as I know most Sx/Sp people do end up with Sp/Sx, for the reasons you've mentioned above.
It is certainly a more "equal" match. On the other hand, Sx/Sp gets all the benefits of synflow SX from the So/Sx, but they cannot and don't want to help them with SO stuff, as I have mentioned in the article; and that can create problems when the So/Sx is unhealthy.

So basically, if the So/Sx is healthy, then you'll probably be the happiest with that stacking (as long as the ITR is good enough ofc).
If the So/Sx is unhealthy, then not really. I suppose an average to even slightly unhealthy Sp/Sx would be better, then.

Same principle would apply to Sx/So with Sp/Sx – as long as the Sp/Sx person is healthy and does not have SP issues, it is gonna be a good experience for the Sx/So. Basically, the "Benefactor" stacking would have to be healthy enough (in the healthy to average range) for those relationships to really work at their best.

To sum up, for an Sx/Sp:

Your best match is a healthy to average So/Sx,
followed by a healthy to slightly below average/slightly unhealthy Sp/Sx.

(Needless to say, no unhealthy stacking is gonna be a "good" or "beneficial" match. )