The effect of an SLI for an IEE (ISTp and ENFp)

[applejacks]

This is very interesting to me.
I often think about how I pass over tons of guys online that, perhaps had we met in person, I might have liked them.
Like, if I had seen the profile of any of the guys I've crushed on in the past, on an online dating site first, I don't know that it would have attracted me.

The profile of my SLI wasn't arrogant. I think it was just posture and air about him in person. But since I saw his profile (which was heartfelt, not overly trite, and thorough), I saw FIRST that there was a deeper side to him before we met. We also exchanged emails for a week, so our conversation went to a greater depth beyond surface questions quickly. Plus, attraction and sparks and chemistry and all that wonderful. But my point is mostly that the profile and emails are what helped me see past what I might have perceived as arrogance, had I only met him in person through work or from a distance or something.

Example: on our second date, we met at a frozen yoghurt place. It was summer, and there was a street musician on the sidewalk. He walked very confidently toward me, stopped briefly to put money in the guitar case, and continued to stride towards me. Had I not known that he is often giving money to street musicians or homeless people, I might've thought- "show off..." because his posture was displaying confidence and he knew I saw him, which leads me to think arrogance. But turns out he often gives money out, and he was just feeling confident because we had kissed each other good night the night before. And a year later, he confessed that he thought I was out of his league when he saw my profile, so his confidence was boosted after our kiss.

Anyways.. it's just easy to misunderstand SLI. They can be so very wonderful when you get to know them.

EDIT: also... hi!!!!

EDIT 2: my hubby's profile - both the writing and photos- was very attractive. I knew he was something special when I saw it. So go with your gut!

[scio]

Okay, story time!!
His health is his priority. He lives his life by it. He is very eccentric about things but nobody knows that about him because he hides basically all of his neurotic habits until you know him well.

When we are in stores he is obsessed with reading ingredient labels in things. He wants to know what is in everything before letting it touch his body. He is very self confident in his body. He also makes a ton of silly pun jokes and has a very "bouncy" vibe to him, but he also makes crude jokes. He corrects me when I move things in his room it doesn't follow his "order". He is very terse and can be short tempered after a long time but overall he is a very patient and calm person. He definitely is always telling people to relax and "calm down". This is something that frustrates me because I'm stubborn and don't like being calm, so I fight it. He can be super prissy which I think is so amusing because I buy thrift store clothing and he wants new, nice quality clothing. He can be materialistic but it's more like he wants the best quality of everything. He is very intellectual and loves science. He wants to know how the world works all the time but applies it to real life. When we go shopping he likes to approve what I buy and make sure it is the best option. He likes saving money and gets excited about savings when shopping. He's VERY sensitive, and allows himself to be vulnerable when he cares. He comes across as the girl in our relationship (I hate putting gender roles but that's definitely how it seems). He lets me know he cares a lot and I fight it tooth and nail.

I've been paranoid I'm not his dual and I think it makes me overreact when he criticizes me because I'm scared he wants another type even though he reassures me in his own ways all of the time. He is a wonderful person overall, I am just more scared of the idea that he seeks qualities in someone that I can't give him.

Thanks for your replies everyone!!


Hi!! @applejacks

[applejacks]

Okay, story time!!
His health is his priority. He lives his life by it. He is very eccentric about things but nobody knows that about him because he hides basically all of his neurotic habits until you know him well.

When we are in stores he is obsessed with reading ingredient labels in things. He wants to know what is in everything before letting it touch his body. He is very self confident in his body. He also makes a ton of silly pun jokes and has a very "bouncy" vibe to him, but he also makes crude jokes. He corrects me when I move things in his room it doesn't follow his "order". He is very terse and can be short tempered after a long time but overall he is a very patient and calm person. He definitely is always telling people to relax and "calm down". This is something that frustrates me because I'm stubborn and don't like being calm, so I fight it. He can be super prissy which I think is so amusing because I buy thrift store clothing and he wants new, nice quality clothing. He can be materialistic but it's more like he wants the best quality of everything. He is very intellectual and loves science. He wants to know how the world works all the time but applies it to real life. When we go shopping he likes to approve what I buy and make sure it is the best option. He likes saving money and gets excited about savings when shopping. He's VERY sensitive, and allows himself to be vulnerable when he cares. He comes across as the girl in our relationship (I hate putting gender roles but that's definitely how it seems). He lets me know he cares a lot and I fight it tooth and nail.

I've been paranoid I'm not his dual and I think it makes me overreact when he criticizes me because I'm scared he wants another type even though he reassures me in his own ways all of the time. He is a wonderful person overall, I am just more scared of the idea that he seeks qualities in someone that I can't give him.

Thanks for your replies everyone!!


Hi!! @applejacks

My SLI is obsessed with the gym and physique. He also asks me what color dress I'm going to wear to a wedding so he can find a matching shirt. He's definitely into buying nice things (bose headphones, etc) but he also takes care of his things. He's funny though and often wears a bright yellow $2 Batman watch. And if it's any consolation, the LSIs I know always wear black and dark tone clothing. That may vary of course, but nothing so far sounds like he wouldn't be SLI

[Chae]

My SLI is obsessed with the gym and physique. He also asks me what color dress I'm going to wear to a wedding so he can find a matching shirt. He's definitely into buying nice things (bose headphones, etc) but he also takes care of his things. He's funny though and often wears a bright yellow $2 Batman watch. And if it's any consolation, the LSIs I know always wear black and dark tone clothing. That may vary of course, but nothing so far sounds like he wouldn't be SLI

That's hella cute *3*

[scio]

That's hella cute *3*

Agreed:'))))

[scio]

@Chae @applejacks

Yeah I'm thinking I just need to be vocal about the fact that I need vocals lol
He is very vocal about caring about my health and looking after me but it's all very protective and not frilly pp
TELL ME U LOVE ME ALL THE TIME DAMNIT
lol nah but something

we actually took the test when we first started talking to each other and weirdly enough we both scored first in acts of service but I'm thinking mine has definitely changed

[scio]

Thank you guys so much for your answers<3 much love

[scio]

@Maritsa can you explain further? that's really interesting. maybe this is common for delta duality

[Beautiful sky]

@Maritsa can you explain further? that's really interesting. maybe this is common for delta duality

Hi yes.

The dual pairs are different. For my dual pair it's centered around LSEs who want to be told what they should be feeling and what they should do, guidance; to do the right and correct actions despite their reactive emotions. LSE, "I want to walk away now but I don't know. I'm so indecisive" EII, "the right thing to do is to write a letter "

Every dual pair gets something out of the pair.

[scio]

@Maritsa Got it. Makes a lot of sense. Hmm

[scio]

@Suz @applejacks arrogance is definitely a way to put it. this is how I'm pretty sure he has Te creative.. because he likes to think he right about how people run things and think of ideas for improvement, even if it isn't welcome. It took awhile for me to see it but it's definitely how he shows he cares about people

[scio]

@applejacks also referring to your post in my other thread, he dresses the same as me!! We often match. We have extremely similar styles and it is something we both noticed when we met each other (which brought initial attraction). Not sure why on his side, but for me it was because I thought we were like-minded and it was a sign

-__- lol i hate how corny i am


also @Suz I could see Si PolR maybe but he is too confident in his body and he laughs at my stereotypical "intuitiveness". He is definitely an S type and hates frilly fanciful things. He always wants to bring me down to reality.

[Suz]

also @Suz I could see Si PolR maybe but he is too confident in his body and he laughs at my stereotypical "intuitiveness". He is definitely an S type and hates frilly fanciful things. He always wants to bring me down to reality.

Se types can be like that too actually. SLE, LSI.