I think it boils down to how your dual manages stress and their upbringing, values, goals, etc. My dual is going through a divorce and has a kid. He's enneagram 3. At first I thought he was becoming an alcoholic but I realized I was having a positive influence on him and he really hasn't been drinking at all now. He's turned in to this pillar of strength and honestly I'm kind of afraid of him, in a good way lol. He handles stress way better than me. If I am anxious, he is not, he will give me space and then when I've calmed down help me. So we are friends and it flows naturally. He doesn't care I'm on the spectrum. He appreciates me. Though I'm afraid of him hahahaha. In a good way. He's like a kind bulldozer.