Hmm, ok. A lot of these things you listed are incredibly unfair especially when it's clear it's intentionally done but I wouldn't feel controlled by some of it since I have a choice to respond.
What I call controlling is when behaviour is directly controlled by the person (or direct attempt at doing so). The rest is selfish, unfair etc, so crap, yes, but the other party still has a choice to respond in whatever way they want to.
I guess if those are done intentionally to manipulate, that's a form of control (or attempt at it) too. So in that sense I get what you mean even if to me that's weirdly indirect.