How to romance series: LSI

[Myst]

Well, actually everything was fine, but I was getting impatient because things wouldn't progress. I think he really needed things to be on his terms and it could very well have been an issue that has nothing to do with type. But when I can't have a crappy day and annoy someone without being told that he is "put off," I really can't help it. I don't believe in being on my best, most accommodating behavior for too long.

I think he felt like "this is how it's going to be, no way! Too pushy and intrusive."
I felt like "I can't have a crappy day and be temporarily annoying. Yeah, no. It's not all about you..."

I did find the severity of his reaction a bit ridiculous. He was all formal, jeez. A simple "I don't think we are a good match" would have been perfectly suitable, but I had to be scolded. Probably not type-related though.

See, things were not progressing. Same as in my case I described...

What did he say that was explicit scolding? You only quoted him on "I no longer want to communicate with you" and you mentioned he was "put off".

Definitely sounds like he had more problems than just that bad day of yours. It might've just all come out then. Not trying to defend him, just saying. And, what would you have wanted if not "formal"? What was the problem with that?

[Kim]

See, things were not progressing. Same as in my case I described...

He kept talking about what we will do when we see each other again, but made no effort to see me (or help me with my efforts to make it happen). I don't like all talk. If you say you want to do something, do it.

What did he say that was explicit scolding? You only quoted him on "I no longer want to communicate with you" and you mentioned he was "put off".

I don't have the text anymore and don't really want to revisit this in detail, but the tone was condescending and formal and he scolded me for basically misbehaving (aka, not acting according to HIS script) and stating that I was in the wrong (which I wasn't, by the most objective standards). He could have just said "sorry, I don't think this is working out" rather than pointing out my "bad behavior" (which didn't exist).

Definitely sounds like he had more problems than just that bad day of yours.

He was pissed off that I didn't let him do what he wanted. He wanted it all on his terms and he sucked at communicating. I am usually more than happy to own my part in a communication breakdown, but when I ask someone if they are ok and they answer "no" and nothing else and leave me hanging for an entire day and night while I worry my little heart out, and then scold me for being "probing," the issue is with them and them alone. Everything was absolutely hunky dory before, until I got annoyed with the constant talk, but no initiative. When I nicely asked if he is really all that interested he ignored me. Then he deliberately made me worry as punishment for asking again what we are going to do. I have dated someone like this before. It's classic narcissist bullshit.

It might've just all come out then. Not trying to defend him, just saying. And, what would you have wanted if not "formal"? What was the problem with that?

See above. Rather than telling me how annoying my behavior is in the most condescending and ridiculously formal tone, he could have just said "sorry, not working for me."

But other red flags suggest I was dealing with a narcissistic sociopath, so this is likely not type-related.

[Myst]

He kept talking about what we will do when we see each other again, but made no effort to see me (or help me with my efforts to make it happen). I don't like all talk. If you say you want to do something, do it.

Did you explicitly ask for help with your efforts to make it happen?

I don't have the text anymore and don't really want to revisit this in detail, but the tone was condescending and formal and he scolded me for basically misbehaving (aka, not acting according to HIS script) and stating that I was in the wrong (which I wasn't, by the most objective standards). He could have just said "sorry, I don't think this is working out" rather than pointing out my "bad behavior" (which didn't exist).

I'm not sure if it was actually a condescending tone for the formal expression about not wanting to communicate more if it was just text. The scolding part, ok, that's negative.

He was pissed off that I didn't let him do what he wanted. He wanted it all on his terms and he sucked at communicating. I am usually more than happy to own my part in a communication breakdown, but when I ask someone if they are ok and they answer "no" and nothing else and leave me hanging for an entire day and night while I worry my little heart out, and then scold me for being "probing," the issue is with them and them alone. Everything was absolutely hunky dory before, until I got annoyed with the constant talk, but no initiative. When I nicely asked if he is really all that interested he ignored me. Then he deliberately made me worry as punishment for asking again what we are going to do. I have dated someone like this before. It's classic narcissist bullshit.

Are you sure he made you worry deliberately?

Sounds like your way of "probing" was not compatible with him. (This part could be Socionics related.) That, and maybe some unhealthy stuff going on too, sure.

See above. Rather than telling me how annoying my behavior is in the most condescending and ridiculously formal tone, he could have just said "sorry, not working for me."

But other red flags suggest I was dealing with a narcissistic sociopath, so this is likely not type-related.

That tone could've just been Ti stuff.

Red flags are no good though of course.