Member Questionnaire 1 (Sloth)
What is beauty? What is love? What is beauty? Hmmmmm, well there is probably the surface level definition of this, everything matching up nice and neat, harmony in design. But when I think of beauty I think of the aesthetics of nature, how perfect they are, how nature is the greatest beauty, but what I love most about nature is how uncanny it is that everything seems to fit perfectly together and I think what I really love is the harmony and a while back, I thought to myself (not too deeply) that beauty is harmony, but what is harmony. Harmony is nature. what is nature? It is your core, the core of your humanity, so beauty is harmony and harmony is anything that brings you to your core of humanity, the general human core we all have and our unique core. So harmony doesn't mean everything will be peaceful and relaxing and you will just flow back to your original nature. Beauty can be incredibly painful. It could be death, literal, as in the death of someone you loved or knew or perhaps other forms of death, like the death of an identity (me being a cop is who I am, now I am hurt and I can no longer be a cop, who am I?), it can be something positive, so peace as I have learned from experience and from what I have read and from direct communication with others isn't this avoidance of pain or challenges or that everything comes easily to you, but a direct engaging of all aspects of life. One line I read that I like is, the only way out is through. So in my opinion your ultimate core is God and how he created your soul, so anything that brings you back to your core, to God and to who you are as an individual is beauty. It is almost like becoming a child again, a shedding of the weight and different disguises and layers the world has laid upon you. My favorite definition of love I think comes from St. Thomas Aquinas, "Love is willing the good of the other, as other". It is not a romantic love or something where you think everyone is just some precious darling, but willing the good of others, helping others and not really for your own gain, but for theirs. The world needs to be remade, to become like nature, where everything is in its place and we are all functioning properly. Love I suppose could be finding out who you really are and then living out your purpose, do the things you are most naturally suited to do, that will help others more then anything else. that could be a very high form of love.
What are your most important values? I value comfort, a simplified life, a minimized life, I value keeping things simple and trying to reject the materialism of the world and trying to stay in touch with the real world and myself. I value humility, self awareness, I definitely value the spiritual/self improvement journey, service to others, MOTHER NATURE (especially the aesthetics), art in different forms especially (including writing). I feel strongly about this and that those with creative talents have a duty to share them. I value a civilized approach to things, tactfulness, politeness, COOPERATION, compassion, learning, individuality, the humanities because I believe they can change your life, Good food haha and being frugal
Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place? I consider myself a returning Catholic. Although to be honest I don't necessarily agree with everything they have to say, through research and what not, I have found a beautiful tradition in art, in the saints with a whole cast of different characters, with a really for the first time discovering Christ, even though I am not an intellectual, I do find that they have a strong intellectual tradition and the most drawing part of it all is the commitment to service, the good works, the social philosophy that we are all responsible for each other. Also being Catholic is much more difficult then being a protestant and after starting to read the gospels and bible I certainly get the impression that the doctrine, justification by faith, is not correct and that being a Christian is actually very challenging and that the spiritual journey is much more difficult then just saying, I believe. It also appeals to me because I believe whether you believe in God or not, if you apply the practices of the catholic faith in your life, you will improve, you will be happier and you will make the world better. I think a lot of that stuff has very practical applications in life.
Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you? Well, I suppose war is inevitable. Somewhere, along the line, someone or some group is going to rise up and cause problems in some way. It is just human nature, this world is forever tainted. Maybe this is a bit naïve to say, but I agree with what Odin said in the first Thor movie, a king must prepare for war, but he also must not seek it out.
What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why? In the past I have had long conversations about politics, about the human condition, sharing stories of my life adding in a good dose of self deprecating humor, religion, relationships, complaining about work and co-workers, maybe business, like how the company could do better. I do like talking about deeper things, but to be honest I don't really think I am deep, I am just speaking from experience or sharing something that someone who really is deep had said/written that I have encountered. I feel like I just state obvious things. I also enjoy hands on activities a lot and I like work where I am free to move around and not sitting at a desk in front of the computer all the time. I enjoy my work as a caregiver for disabled adults, I love my job on the farm, even though I mostly shovel poop, it is a fantastic work environment to be in, gives me a chance to think, which could be good or bad, and I get to work alone, surrounded by nature and livestock, it is pretty fantastic. I also enjoy writing and reading. I pretty much write personal essays, mostly attempts at humor or something that will have an emotional impact. I enjoy reading nonfiction because the real world is so crazy and amazing, who needs fiction. I also enjoy gardening, photography, a bit of drawing very occasionally, being out in nature soaking up the aesthetics, the smells, the feel of the wind, the birds, everything is probably my favorite thing to do. I like the hands on work and being active, I just tend to move at my own very leisurely place. Also I have really developed a taste for listening to classical music, instrumentals really. I love the harmony, the elegance and maybe it is something that brings you back to the core, because there are no words, so it hits you somewhere besides your brain and maybe that is why people still love it. I think my biggest interest is making people laugh, I just can't stop from making jokes and if people let me, I will put on a whole show for them. I have actually been doing that for a work friend for years when there is down time. I am a compulsive comedian.
Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body? I am definitely aware of bodily sensations and if I am uncomfortable or feeling different, whether good or bad, but my health and health as a topic of conversation is not of great interest to me.
What do you think of daily chores? I for years and years hated them, I totally ignored them. I am very messy, but my job as a caregiver requires me to clean and I have found lately that I do enjoy on some level cleaning, maybe it is the tangible work, actually seeing and feeling the results of your work. Also it is mindless work which gives me an opportunity to think or get away from other people so I can be alone. But I am still very messy and pretty much ignore them. For a long time it was hard for me to do daily chores because they are so boring and anytime I did anything that bored me, my mind couldn't help but wonder. which caused me to slow down and become inefficient.
Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome. Bible, I have been rediscovering William Wordsworth, I love his poem the Old Cumberland Beggar. I really enjoy David Sedaris and try to copy him in my writing because I don't know what I am doing, I really enjoy Joan Didion's essays. I enjoy Robert Frost, but I read things so intermittently. I have been reading gifts differing. I also like the For Dummies, series because they give you a clear explanation of how to do something and they cover so many topics, so what can be most exciting is to read about something that you might in reality get to do one day. As far as films have gone. I have really loved the cinematography of the wolfman movie starring Hopkins and Del Toro. The hobbit movies and I really thought the movie sisters, with Tina Fey, was surprisingly interesting and Get Hard. I thought they were going to be bad and I am sure they won't win any awards, but they were very entertaining. Maybe that has something to do with the fact I have become so much less cynical.
What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why? The death of my father, thinking about the passing of time, thinking about my two girls all grown up or as old woman. The death of my dog. Something about the passage of time makes me sad, like at the end of that movie, I can't remember the name, but they head out through a worm hole to find another earth and the astronaut ends up meeting back up with his daughter when she is in her eighties and talks with her right before she passes. The thought of still being young and your daughter on the verge of passing is very emotional. I thin there is part of me that doesn't like the passage of time, that people are going through these phases and they are different people in their lives and those people have to go away. Seeing my girls grow up ties in with that of course. The death of my mother and her brothers and sisters. I will miss my mother terribly, but it is also the dying away of that generation that saddens me. I have a nostalgic feeling towards the past and tend to view it initially with red rose colored lenses on.
The beauty of nature has made me smile, the wonders of the world have made me smile, good food has made me smile, making others laugh has made me smile. I used to not like children but I have shed a lot of cynicism so now seeing kids out with their parents makes me smile. My kids, how lucky I got having two great girls.
Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging? I think as far as a sense of belonging or peace I find it out in nature. I feel being out in nature revitalizes me, especially being alone, that is best, that is when the revitalization is the strongest. For the most part, I usually don't feel like I belong anywhere. I often feel that there is the world and there is me.
What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself? Laziness, very passive, bad with paperwork, not organized, move too slowly, affected too much by negative emotions, fearful of taking risks (like putting my writing out there), I have gotten better but conflict was a huge fear of mine, just going along with people, being too nice and too helpful, being attracted to at times by people with troubles, a couple romantic relationships that were major were with troubled women and I really screwed myself, especially financially, by helping them and being with them. I have trouble saying no to junk food, I get stuck in comforting routines. People who get to know me in the past, say I hold too much anger in, I get upset over stuff that doesn't even affect me, but it has gotten better.
What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself? Laid back nature, good listener, I think I give the impression I am nonjudgmental listener, willing to help, polite, caring, that I am funny. I have been told I have a talent for writing, photography and as a child, a talent for drawing. People I think have enjoyed the stability I have provided. People have told me that I am thoughtful, have a talent for using language, that I am deep, but most of this has happened in my local technical college I am attending. I have been told I am a good caregiver and I guess trainer of new employees.
I enjoy my creative talents, my curiosity about certain things, I like that I try to take the time to soak up the aesthetic details around me and that I am a very visual person. I am glad I enjoy hands on work, but I am not handy. I should try to get more into it. I kind of like the idea that I am so unstructured and that I am, well.....an odd duck. I like that I value simplicity and to keep things relaxed.
In what areas of your life would you like help? I probably need help seeing the positive sides of myself more clearly and being more driven to go after what I want, I need to be more disciplined and not so idealistic about stuff. To be more efficient would be good and not to be so, it is either this or that when it comes to decisions, I don't think I stop to consider all the possibilities or think about things enough when I have to make a decision, but when I do stop to consider possibilities I often end up in analysis paralysis, I used to not do that, I used to just make a decision, better or worse and just do it eventually. Now I find when I make up my mind about something and try to go with other possibilities it is very hard for me to deviate from my original decision. Often I will end up thinking about something, investigating all the options and end up just going with my original decision anyways. But strangely I do like doing things like brainstorming, but maybe that is only when I feel like I won't have to actually do something, but when I am actually doing something or have to do something I often feel compelled to go with the first decision/answer/choice that came to me, for better or for worse. Help with planning.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it. I often get up in routines that are I guess you could say very comforting and numbing to me. These aren't productive routines, like I clean these parts of the house at these times on these days, they involve enjoying the same food and drink everyday, around the same time, maybe playing around with the same information, like looking at typology stuff again, I get into these routines and I think at times I don't even realize they are happening. I dislike routine in a way, but there is comfort in it too, that I also enjoy.
What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with? I most like a laid back attitude, a good listerner, non confrontational, probably someone who agrees with me on most things and someone who finds me hilarious. Perhaps another weirdo. People who aren't overly organized or people who don't cling to rules and organization for dear life. Probably another introvert. No one too high energy, I like things calm and laid back, smart, with interesting opinions.
How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner? I would think a good partner would be someone very similar too, but you want to have sex with them. I am not too wild when it came to sex. I often had the same type to sex over and over again, to be honest, I was happy it was even happening. Also the person must be kind, generous and supportive and not overly confrontational and not controlling. I have choses to be celibate because I think one of the things I really want is to be left alone to do what I want how I want to do it and to leave other people alone.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why? I have two girls. my main concerns are that they are hard workers, frugal, makes choices that make their lives easier, that people treat them for the most part kindly and that they find out who they really are. I have been trying to instill those values and share my hard earned wisdom with my ten year old, but the other is jus two. I try to use reason and logic to convince them and people, that is why I think I would be bad at sales, I don't consider myself necessarily that logical, but I feel I point out logical, common sense reasons to do things.
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction? My inward reaction could be negative, maybe shock, outward, I probably wouldn't have a reaction, I would just listen, I feel like I can understand most people's point of views and might even agree with some points, but this could just be me trying to avoid conflict. A lot of the time I have just listened while I judge them internally.
Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one. I feel like I am a weirdo who doesn't fit in, I try to subscribe to beliefs that go against the US culture, like traditional Christian beliefs, like simplicity, concern for others, not considering financial gain the end goal. People I think are a mixed bag and life has become so busy and complicated and with the rampant individualism in the country I feel like everyone is off in their own little world. An indifference to most things, like poverty. I guess I would say poverty and lack of social mobility.
How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them? In the past, it all seemed to happen by chance. I think people like having me around because I would just listen to them and help them and always be there for whatever reason they wanted me there, so they liked the stability. Now, I try to pick friends that are really more in line with my interests and that aren't so self centered.
How do you behave around strangers? Typically I don't talk to anyone, at most people will get a mild simple smile out of me or a nod. That is about it, but over the past few years, I have become kind of a chatty Kathy and at times will strike up conversations with strangers if the opportunity is right and I feel I have the social energy for it. I am pretty chatty at my one job as a caregiver, at times with new staff if the feeling is right or they seem responsive to it. I have a limited amount of social energy and at some point I just shut down and don't want to talk to anyone.
Member Questionnaire (Sloth)
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Originally Posted by Muddytextures
+ 
, so SEI > ESE
, so likely introverted.
