You think mirror is the worst relationship?Originally Posted by Rebelondeck
You think mirror is the worst relationship?
Yes and a wrote an article about it:
http://www.socionics.com/articles/thestrength.html
a.k.a. I/O
You also rate Super-ego as being the second-best, based on the fact that they have the last three Jungian dichotomies opposite (hence why mirror is rated so low).
This contradicts the theory of quadra values and confirms that your understanding has nothing to do with classical socionics.
You are correct. I think the Socionics classifications are good but the models are wrong......
a.k.a. I/O
Do you think temperment is a better indicator of relational success than classical Socionics relationship predictions? @Rebelondeck
There are aspects of my concept of temperament which I find are good indicators but this would not be the traditional model to which you would be accustomed. I find that j-types (output oriented) have better working relationships with j-types, and p-types (input oriented) with p-types. Also, a mix of "like-minded" Ejs will often fight each other for control, Ips will often throw barbs and be paranoid of one another, Eps will rarely march in unison and Ijs will hardly ever listen to one another unless there are distinct areas of expertise with no overlap. Team members have to bring unique skills to the table or a unique perspective (N vs S and F vs T) and not tread on someone else's turf. The key to strong sustained relationships is need (as per Maslov); there must be a common perception of the value of all team members, little to no overlap and a common direction.
a.k.a. I/O
I know you’ve said before that you think a person’s type doesn’t fully settle until their mid 20s? I was wondering if you think this would has an impact on the strength of the ITR? For example it seems like you see more benefit or kindred relationships in younger people than older. Also, in reference to the article, do you think that some of the ITR, regardless of strength are more difficult to start up or maintain? For example contrary, kindred and illusionary don’t seem that common in older couples, although I haven’t observed loads and loads of couples. Perhaps it feels more difficult to develop trust with some types or you feel more bored of them easily.
So long as there's no real commitment to common goals, most types can be close friends; for example, mirrors might have a lot of common interests to discuss and could be best buds so long as they don't have joint responsibility for something important. Younger people tend to have fewer things that they deem important so the probably of conflict is less likely - although not zero. Many youth allow libido to take over, thus clouding all cognition; it's only when they've been burnt sufficiently that cognition might start to control the animalistic imperatives. People of the same temperament seem to gravitate toward one another as childhood friends. As they grow older, common interests seem to be more the draw and because of this, dual relationships are usually very hard to start unless both partners are "hot". Concerning your last few words, many IEIs seem to gravitate toward the image rather than the person so they often wake up with people with whom they easily get bored.
a.k.a. I/O
Ok so yes maybe people get into relationships with non-dual types at a young age, feeling drawn to them by passion or curiosity. And then maybe later some naturally move on to a dual who feels like a tamer, safer version of their exes.
Maybe duals, semi-duals, look-a-likes, super-ego do feel like the safer bet in the end, compared to whatever relationship comes before. Or people end up with mirror or activity because it feels misleadingly safe due to shared interests/feelings of friendship.
Ok but I’m sure some couples do break up because they feel too young to commit, even if the relationship is solid. I am wondering which ITR are the ones which are hard to start or don't last (maybe it’s the same question). I’m curious which ITR are the most common for marriage I guess. Even though I think I agree with your ordering for the strength of ITR. It would be interesting to know how it compares to the statistical reality of marriages or long term relationships. Or hear from anyone’s anecdotal evidence. Look-a-like partners seem more common than kindred for example. Maybe there are only a few ITR which truly stand out as the most common (look-a-likes, duals, activity, mirrors, super-ego, maybe semi-duals and supervision). I think it is common for kindred pairs to have some trust issues and semi-duals seem to be more attractive than illusionary from what I've read on here. But I agree that all of these ITR have a lot of potential. (Kindred, illusionary, semi-duals). I couldn't see myself with a IEE although I agree that a good one could be a decent partner. I'm just wondering if in reality, these types would often find a reason to separate after a while of being together.
And yes trying not to fall for the images atm. Although I did have to figure out how to spot a compatible subtype/lack of subtype to be able to do this. I think that’s helpful.
Regarding friendships, I became friends with people of same temperament in my teens, but didn’t become closer with them til a few years later. My closest friend in primary school was an LSI. I thought maybe the friendship was strong because of the thing you said before about children seeming to be unsettled on j/p temperament. So maybe in a way she was like an SLI. Although maybe the friendship simply worked well in a school context and we naturally clicked. Friendships certainly seemed easier as a child or young person, but maybe that was just me or like you say, the lack of having to work on something together/ make compromises. Still, I’m wondering if communication is easier at a young age (under 25) because your type isn’t settled, even simply in a superficial way. Also, I feel like I used to get on better with my little brother who is LSI when he was a kid
I probably do miss having close NF friendships if I’m honest. Generally, from my observations look-a-like, mirrors and quasi-identical seem the most common for adult friendships. As for mirrors, EIEs have the same fantastical sense of hopefulness as I do, for someone who’s had a rubbish past I think that can be a nice thing to share. Just this week I had a long convo with an EIE colleague. It was nice to forget the boring, depressing reality of life and indulge in talking about our dreams and pick apart our emotions in a way that felt quite cathartic. The EJ temperament felt nice too, because she doesn’t fixate on every little thing I say but also listens. She is really young though
Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 07-21-2021 at 12:27 PM.
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote