What makes you social (so) last? Enneagram Instincts
(Inspired by [and shamelessly ripped off from] the "What makes you sx-first?" thread.)
I am curious to hear what made you so-lasts determine that you are, in fact, so-last?
It's fine to comment on each other's descriptions with regards to how much you relate (or don't relate), but please no retyping or "this is not so-related" or "this is sp first," etc.
Last edited by SongOfSapphire; 10-18-2016 at 05:17 PM. Reason: typo
"In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is." - Yogi Berra
I don't speak "small talk"
My voice is pretty monotone and quiet (notice this with alot of social lasts especially women)
Introverted - not all social lasts are (and not all 'socials' are extroverted) but there is some correlation imo
I'm horrible at making close friends and being supportive and sweet in general to female friends, female friends is out of my comfort zone. but this is like specific for social last + withdrawn type
That's all I can come up with right now. ^^
Mmmh I've assembled some points, I hope it helps you.
- I need my So/Sx friend as a moderator and social circle navigator, I'm more accessible for others when he's around
- Not part of ANY club at university while everyone else is engaging in like 5 projects +. I prefer my own private projects, I am a one-human-team.
- Can sit alone, eat alone, go out alone
- I'm able to turn off my phone for maybe 3 days straight
- Yeah my phone battery has a good life in general
- Whatever it is, permission or social acceptance is the last thing I consider unless it's illegal or is detrimental to my success (--> e3)
- When I enter a room, I look and head for the person I like the most. I disregard visually taking in the entirety of people there. I need just one person as my anchor.
- Don't do/like small talk or introductions. I am very unceremonious. Miraculously, that helps me making acquaintances with ease.
- I was VERY unpopular in grade school among my peers, I was the smartest Satan that ever walked the planet and flaunted it mercilesslyyy
- my circle of friends is... small
- Famous quote by me, addressing my former boss: "I don't care about your status. I care about your competency."He then started laughing nervously.
- Yes I'm good at relentlessly exposing shady authority figures
- I'm relentless in general, savage af since `96
- I'm all for instant-status establishment, not being the boss by default but establishing myself as one every time it's needed and performing well.
- I fail to motivate big groups when put into the leader position. I can only motivate them one by one, but I excel at it so that works
- Dislike group chats
- My general taste clashes with everything that my peer group likes. I'm not even aware of what they like sometimes, the irony.
- A fellow student of mine declined a prize once. She didn't want to hold the included speech at prom in front of 600 people. I was the runner-up and was offered both speech and prize and guess what I diiid. I noticed during the speech that I have a real knack for it since my natural focus is never on the audience but my then authentic self. I received only positive feedback, appeared in the local newspaper and was called inspiring and so on. I can only recommend this attitude to overcome stage fright: be as self-absorbed and focused on the task as possible, I'm not even kidding.
- I refuse offers to join any party or gathering. I refused so often that nobody invites me anymore which is exactly what I want. The only exception is when someone I like accompanies me.
- Quotes about me: "Sometimes, you're scary" "Are you trying to be `special´ again?"
- I once isolated myself for two months in an apartment. I was lonely but I didn't have to deal with people's itsy-bitsy issues. The wifi was extra good. I could live at night, too. I've been called a vampire several times in my life, this confirmed the hypothesis.
- Facebook creeps me out
- Television creeps me out
- It's not personal enough for me, being SX first
- My aesthetic taste is very different from the norm
- I'm not part of any German political party, idgaf - my opinions are not represented well
- politics in general... uh... I think they are partially redundant, just like laws. We need good ethics instead.
- I rarely keep up with the news.
- Initiating a group meeting is foreign to me. I'm the last person to organize an anniversary or something.
- I don't really know which groups are for and against me. I lackso that's not surprising.
- If the music is good I go all out while dancing, adapting to the style and pace of others doesn't bother me
- The logic "befriend this person in order to..." makes me want to become a citizen of Saturn. Having corporate connections is important but on a more intimate level... please no...
- What other people do in their free time is uninteresting to me
- So yes, gossip makes me cringe
- All the "who does what with whom, where, how, why" - redundant, I mind my own business.
- I see people as individuals, not group members
- I stand up for the underdog, research a lot about minorities, unprivileged groups and so on
- mainstream things quickly bore me
- During a group exercise in my last self-defense course, I scared the instructors because I have no inhibitions whatsoever, I don't feel socially restricted. Especially as a female. Very important.
- I tend to make decisions for others without their approval, it happens naturally and isn't comfortable for either party.
- The current charts? No idea what's going on.
- I always like the villains a lot more.
- I can befriend someone that everybody dislikes
- My way of keeping up with trends is a bit apathetic, I prefer to set my own trends.
- I can write ultra long lists about myself and publish them online :3
Between @Ghost and @Chae I am pretty much covered. Not that I relate to every single thing, I don't, but enough that I can't think of what to add at the moment.
My phone battery is dead for days at a time before I notice. It is usually when someone contacts me another way and tells me to charge my phone.
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
Gonna comment on these because I have nothing better to do with my life atm
I have 0 so/sx friends, I have my sister who is one who I think is too faced and fake as fuckI need my So/Sx friend as a moderator and social circle navigator, I'm more accessible for others when he's around
Don't go to university, no clubs.- Not part of ANY club at university while everyone else is engaging in like 5 projects +. I prefer my own private projects, I am a one-human-team.But if i was I would probably join one to at least have a possibility to meet someone. I don't like feeling left out all the time though I need alot of alone time and very few friends. Synflow (?)
Yes, though not to a restaurant, that triggers my 3 wing of feeling like a loser- Can sit alone, eat alone, go out alone
Yea unless I'm interested in someone that I want to talk to- I'm able to turn off my phone for maybe 3 days, straight
Mine is ok- Yeah my phone battery has a good life in general
I care about social acceptance in people I like, before i know them better. 3wing + synflow- Whatever it is, permission or social acceptance is the last thing I consider unless it's illegal or is detrimental to my success (--> e3)
I usually have no one, but yea I like to stick to one person and if I can't I get uncomfortable- When I enter a room, I look and head for the person I like the most. I disregard visually taking in the entirety of people there. I need just one person as my anchor.
agree- Don't do/like small talk or introductions. I am very unceremonious. Miraculously, that helps me making acquaintances with ease.
I was pretty popular until puberty hit, because I was best friends with the most popular girl in the class. It was a tiny school with only 24 people in our grade. Then after puberty I got more 4ish and felt superweird and withdrew. I've never been 'popular' after that- I was VERY unpopular in grade school among my peers, I was the smartest Satan that ever walked the planet and flaunted it mercilesslyyy
no idea what this means but sounds like something related to work and business- I'm all for instant-status establishment, not being the boss by default but establishing myself as one every time it's needed and performing well.
Ive never been in a leader position- I fail to motivate big groups when put into the leader position. I can only motivate them one by one, but I excel at it so that works
they can be fun- Dislike group chats
I would have a panic attack and start crying- A fellow student of mine declined a prize once. She didn't want to hold the included speech at prom in front of 600 people. I was the runner-up and was offered both speech and prize and guess what I diiid. I noticed during the speech that I have a real knack for it since my natural focus is never on the audience but my then authentic self. I received only positive feedback, appeared in the local newspaper and was called inspiring and so on. I can only recommend this attitude to overcome stage fright: be as self-absorbed and focused on the task as possible, I'm not even kidding.
I like parties and appreciate when people invite me because I always feel left out- I have no real desire to make *friends* but I still want to be IN IT. Damn you synflow and soc last!- I refuse offers to join any party or gathering. I refused so often that nobody invites me anymore which is exactly what I want. The only exception is when someone I like accompanies me.
Never heard this, but no one really speaks to me- Quotes about me: "Sometimes, you're scary" "Are you trying to be `special´ again?"
You never went out the apartment? I could probably do that for the rest of my life if my partner was with me.- I once isolated myself for two months in an apartment. I was lonely but I didn't have to deal with people's itsy-bitsy issues. The wifi was extra good. I could live at night, too. I've been called a vampire several times in my life, this confirmed the hypothesis.
no- Facebook creeps me out
- Television creeps me out
probably- My aesthetic taste is very different from the norm
Too many quotes, too little time
@Ghost
Well, I left the apartment once I started starving. My polr got saved by SP secondary's willingness to actually surviveAgreed, being alone with just your significant other for eternity sounds like heaven. Sadly it's not likely nor realistic, especially as SX/SP needs a certain degree of social experience to really heal and mature, later in life, at least. It could work for a couple of years when two SX/SP people merge. Imagine how that could be like, so intense. Ohh my god hnggh. SX/SP and SP/SX could function as a secluded couple as well, enneagram fives or nines at best. You as a four are suited for that also^^
The synflow/SO last conflict that you describe can tear one apart, I agree. SX and SP work in a completely different fashion as well, SX/SP might as well be the hardest stacking to handle. SP/SX is conflow, at least. The good thing is, you always get as much as you can carry, SX/SP has lots of perks and potential. Immediate connection, high level of long-lasting energy, toughness, ability to "feel it", profound bonding, those things. Check out my blog, I've written a lot about this stacking in general.
@Ghost
Well, I left the apartment once I started starving. My polr got saved by SP secondary's willingness to actually survive
The synflow/SO last conflict that you describe can tear one apart, I agree. SX and SP work in a completely different fashion as well, SX/SP might as well be the hardest stacking to handle. SP/SX is conflow, at least. The good thing is, you always get as much as you can carry, SX/SP has lots of perks and potential. Immediate connection, high level of long-lasting energy, toughness, ability to "feel it", profound bonding, those things. Check out my blog, I've written a lot about this stacking in general.
- In high school, during a year-specific assembly, I initiated a jokey back and forth with the head teacher doing the talking, complete with challenging/teasing joke. My classmates elbowed me into silence before I noticed that this may not have been the best time. In retrospect, it was awkward timing, but at the time it was fun.
- Little to no sense of how I am regarded by 'other people'/ community standing, unless directly told. Little sense of personal reputation.
- Maintain friendships as one-on-ones. I don't usually introduce my friends to each other. Have been in small, tight friend groups before, and LOVE having them, but so far don't know how to make one.
- In groups/regarding flatmates: if I have no draw to talk to someone, I am quite happy to reside in the same 'group' for years with only passing chats and little knowledge of/interest in them.
- Will have exciting conversations with people and then coast on this excitement, sometimes finding it difficult to deepen the acquaintance (e.g.: "So, Fellow Archery Enthusiast, how do you get on with your parents?") if the 'juice' is already passing through well.
- ETA: Low sense of needing a community which shares my interests. E.g.: I enjoy, say, a particular game online, but it took me something like a year to even *notice* the 'Forum' button in the upper right corner of the screen, and longer to join that forum.
On the other hand:
- I like going to parties for the energy, the charged atmosphere, the vibrant sense of intense fun, the transcendent thrill of a huge anonymous group letting go. Same reason I like city lights at night, the bigger the panorama the better. I am still building up the social confidence to actually go there and do stupid things. However while I like the apparent glamour and subjective thrum of energy, notice my complete lack of interest in a) dressing the part b) bottle service or w/e signals 'cool' status at that party.
- Strongly depending on mood: I'm decent at small talk, and don't mind the little connection to another human - no more and no less meaningful than the incidental touch of your neighbour.
- Again somewhat mood dependent, but I *am* interested in people. I think. Kind of. Not that much sense of gossip as socially valuable information though. Little to no interest in friends' significant others, as people, unless I find them interesting in their own right.
- I need to leave the house, good grief!
- I need close friends. Talking to people is not optional. Have never been in a position to test how that goes while in a relationship, but afaik I would not want to isolate myself with one person in the long run.
- When in a society, no immediate sense of 'belonging' with the people there. I do feel myself to be a member/ (proud?) representative of 'the society' sometimes, but it does not follow that I feel close/want to be close to the people there. Takes me a while to mentally switch from 'small talk management' relation to 'get to know someone' relation, unless we strongly click from the outset.
May or may not be relevant:
- My memory has an interesting quirk: if I don't think about an experience again after it's happened, I am liable to completely forget about it, even if it was genuinely really fun! It's only happened a couple of times, but people have said hi and then realised that I don't remember them. :x
- I quit a high-level position on a society committee because I dislike admin (it was mostly to organise events.) While I liked the small prestige afforded by the position, I also had *no idea* of how to improve such events. Like, no opinion on timing/time of day/reasons other than cost to prefer such-and-such venue, and in the end little sense of ownership/personal success, despite learning a lot! Don't regret doing it though
That being said, I currently* suspect that my stacking is sx-dom with reasonably competent sp and so, sp being a little stronger than so, but all three instincts being close in strength.
*Subject to change
Last edited by GuavaDrunk; 10-20-2016 at 09:27 AM. Reason: Extra thought
Reason is a whore.
-Feeling surround by idiots whenever was I forced to go to prep rallies at school.
-Being unpatriotic and not caring about things that go on in the country unless they directly effect me.
-Preferring solitary types of physical exercise and despising team sports and sports culture in general.
-Avoiding anything related to gossip.
-Feeling frustrated by people who use socializing with co-workers as a means of protection for not doing anything at work and dumping everything on you.
-Feeling annoyed by people who spam invites when I just a want to play video games alone.
-Being uncomfortable taking pictures with other people.
-Having zero interest in ever attending a wedding or funeral.
-Feeling repulsed by kids and the idea of having to take care of them.
-Feeling no reason to use a lot of popular social media sites such as Instagram or Snapchat.
-Not using the chatbox on the16types.
Haha, this is a tricky one.
1st: the realization of being an So-last when trying to go into personality forums featuring Enneagram and trying to go in the thread of Sx/Sps or Sx/Sos or messaging around these people and still not getting any of that "immediate" / "magnetic" chemistry connecting thing...
2nd: when realizing dumbfounded that there are actually 1 or 2 people indicating So/Sp, some Sp/So but the majority is indicating Sx dom or 2ndary around these forums and still not having that juice flowing between you and them, whereas they seem to be well off with themselves (at least showing a loose sense of group cohesion). Not any 1-on-1 / more intimate connection developing with anyone. That's when you truly feel So last...
3rd: when you realize that all this time you've been trying hard to become and So first! with them but to no avail. That even among forum members who supposedly have Sx, you feel the need to keep your Sx bursts withelh because flashing it once or twice elicited the Sx people turning against you, chasitising you around these forums.
4th: when you realize that Sx/Sp and Sp/Sx is actually a good mask for Social firsts to pass responsibility. That it is part of the Introvert fad where people point fingers and blame the extroverts for all the BS in the world. And then everyone effectively becomes an introvert. Except the strong ExxJ extroverts become Sx/So cultural (the good and proactive) revolutionaries.
And 5th: you're truly an So last, when at the end you realize you've been an So first all along but only that you got caught up in this "society alienating from itself only to raise attention to itself" phenomenon and are only writing to this forum because you want to belong to a larger group.
Last edited by Neokortex; 10-21-2016 at 11:27 AM.
Except for impaired empathy, an ordinary guy who's looking for down-to-earth, loving, loyal friends and a geeky, warm, voluptuous girlfriend!
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
I'm horrible to get close friends , yeah i've been gotten close friends since i'm in college , although i try hard to be humble ( yeah 6w7 primary )
I don't like too much interaction irls
Having zero interest to attend party , wedding , or funeral ( except family funeral )
Terrible to be cheerful irl
I prefer maintain friends 1-1 to have a lot of friends
I don't mind to small talk , but i prefer deep conversations
I will talk a lot , if i close with someone
I rarely smiles to everyone , yeah smiles make uncomfortable
I feel annoyed , if someone invites me to play with spam dms
This. Same.Originally Posted by saskiaza21
1) I don't play social games. If you have something to say, just say it to me or don't say it.
2) My whole life I have been told that I look angry/pissed off/annoyed/unwelcoming. I rarely feel as though I am any of those things. Possibly unwelcoming, but it's not like I won't be nice to someone who talks to me, I just won't go out of my way to make someone feel welcome. You're not an asshole because you're so-last, you're just an asshole. Being able to converse somewhat normally is a product of social skills, not instinctual variant.
3) I hate working in teams.
4) I pretty much do everything by myself.
5) If I have plans with somebody, and then they invite someone else along, I feel shafted, in a sense.
6) I hate any sort of group cheering/chanting.
7) I hate when people try and have a conversation with me across a circle of people. I feel very vulnerable in this situation. If you want to talk to me, why are you letting all of these other people here what we are going to talk about?
Test results, also generally being a stereotypical ISTP who forgets about his social responsibilities.
Screenshot_2020-10-29 Enneagram.jpg
simply : I'm Anti Social,Anti People,Anti whatever you can imagine about society. I hate them.
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
