Personal concepts
1. What is beauty? What is love?
Hard to define but I think everything is beautiful. I guess it is subjective. Perhaps beauty is the quality of an object that makes you have a positive emotional feeling towards it, and love is that feeling? I think the complexity in everything makes it beautiful.
2. What are your most important values?
Errr... I'm not sure what it even means. It is important to me to work hard and produce good work. It is important to not intentionally hurt others. IDK.
3. Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
No. Spirituality doesnt make any sense to me. I have never been religious, I went through a phase of being agnostic because I thought you couldn't know for sure.. But for the most part I have been very atheist. It almost seems like belittling the amazing fact that the universe is here by chalking it up to some kind of religious creation. I just don't think there is a lot hidden behind the surface (ie: spiritually/religiously) and that is fine because the realistic, scientifically understood methods by which the world works is already quite amazing.
4. Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
I don't think I know enough about war to have a real opinion. It may be all about power plays, some countries wanting more power.. I'm sure most people think of wars being all evil and bad but I can't believe there aren't SOME good reasons behind them.. Governments trying to give their people the best lives possible.. I don't know really. It is so easy to look at things in black and white, but I think war is an extremely grey subject, and a subject that I could never know enough about to have a solid opinion on.
5. What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
I am not a really big talker (anymore), but I have 2 different things I talk about. With my family (who I see once a week) I mostly talk about my current reality (ie: what school was like this week, what I experienced, what I struggled with, what I succeeded in). The other thing I talk about is politics/social issues. My favourite topics are social movements (ie: feminism, black lives matter, etc.), GMOs, environmentalism, nuclear energy, future developments. **I AM CENTER-RIGHT, ie pro-GMO, anti-feminist, pro-nuclear.. etc.
I honestly am a very boring person. My interests are really the topics above as well as socionics/mbti, science, video games, humanity. I enjoy thinking about things and hearing people's perspectives on issues. I also enjoy gossip/drama, however I don't participate in it, just observe.
6. Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
Not particularly. I am extremely paranoid about my body. I feel like it is going to fail me, any small illness I think could be cancer or heart attack or... It is all very distressing. I tend to try and ignore any problems with my body to try and avoid anxiety over it.
7. What do you think of daily chores?
I tend to do daily chores VERY grudgingly. At times I find cooking or cleaning to be relaxing, but usually I would rather be doing something else and I find it to be a big hassle that I would prefer someone else do. I would be HAPPY to have a stay at home husband who does all the cleaning/cooking/chores.
8. Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
I haven't read any books in a while. I have many favourite books and movies however. My recent favourite movies are The Boy (2015) and Frank (2014). I tend to enjoy movies with big twists or that really show sides of the human condition that we don't often think about. Oh man, like this movie about this women who has a baby and she wont feed it because she is scared it will get sick. And her husband starts to freak out and secretly feed him.. I can't remember what the movie was called but it was so dark and showed the sickness of some people so clearly. I can't remember what it was called, but I enjoy movies like that.
I have a problem with a lot of movies because I pick up on foreshadowing really quickly and I can often predict what will happen early on in the movie and I get really bored because It's like I already watched the movie in my head and now I just have to wait for it all to play out.
9. What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
It frustrates me to no end how easily I cry. I cry easily due to frustration. When I feel strong emotions I just can't help but cry. I was debating my mom about nuclear energy and I started crying because I was getting frustrated. I recently watched breaking bad and I cried a few times, especially over Hank's time in his bed after being shot. I cried today watching a video of group of biologists having a sperm whale swim in front of their cameras. It is just awful.
I smile a lot as well, I am studying mining engineering and I find my profs make lots of silly jokes and they always give me a big grin. I find lots of kids are stupid as well so when they show off their stupidity I grin a lot too. I think I am just a pretty happy girl and I just smile.
10. Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
I think most of the time I am a little pulled back from the environment. I am very cerebral, running an internal dialogue. I guess the only times I am not in my head is when I am in class/lectures. I am the type of student who is really engaged in the lessons and I become really absorbed with taking in all the information the prof is giving.. I think I am still slightly cerebral during this time, but it is less obvious to myself as I am keeping up with what the prof is saying.
Evaluation & Behaviour
11. What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
I dislike my emotions. I hate how I can be sensitive. I was very outgoing and loud as a child but I found out that a lot of people disliked me and thought I was a huge bitch/bossy/annoying/neurotic, I developed a real complex over this and started to believe that I was completely unlikeable. I don't really have any friends except for my SO and I don't really know how to make friends anymore (I'm not even sure if I want any). I know I judge myself TOO harshly and when I see others I realize that I am not really that bad. I'm really working hard at accepting myself and my faults. I have always expected myself to be perfect and I couldn't cut myself any slack for my shortcomings.
12. What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
I am a fairly smart person. I think that I come across looking like a ditz, but I find people generally think that I am really intelligent. People always come up to me looking for help on homework and assignments. I have always been at the top of my class and learning has come extremely easily to me. I am a very hard worker (at work, not at home) and I produce very good results. Weather I am doing a print job, making autocad drawings or writing a proposal, my work always looks good and professional.
13. In what areas of your life would you like help?
I would love if someone would help me take care of my body. I neglect myself a lot out of fear. I also would like help with socializing.. however, I probably wouldn't really accept help in either of those areas.
14. Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
I'm not sure what "stuck in a rut" means. However, about 4 years ago I got super depressed after losing my best friend and being very alone, I had no friends or support. I started getting extremely drunk all the time and smoking weed CONSTANTLY. I would spend all of my time in a 4chan webcam chatroom(I was one of 4 admins and we had around 200 guests a night) and harassed girls to get naked on cam. It was a really sad point in my life and I was really falling apart. My apartment was a huge mess and I was really living badly. I ended up moving back home after this and cleaning up. I stopped smoking weed and only drink small amounts now. I am really ashamed of how my life was then and I feel really sad for the girl I once was. I did a lot of things I am not proud of and I wouldn't want to see anyone feeling as bad as I did then.
People & Interactions
15. What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
I dislike people who form strong opinions based on emotional factors or anecdotal evidence. I dislike people that are overly negative. I like people who want to go and do things. I have a hard time getting myself to do stuff so someone who encourages me to go out hiking or for a walk or something is great. I like to laugh, so playful people are always appreciated.
16. How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
I have been in a lot of relationships. My current relationship has been over 3 years running and I couldn't imagine my life without him. We aren't very romantic, I have some sexual abuse in my past so I am not always the most receptive. Our sex is very vanilla, it doesn't last very long but I am satisfied by it. I really appreciate his playful nature (he is an ISTp I believe) and how he can take care of me. He is very good around the house and with our cars. We fool around alot, we like to wrestle, tickle, talk in baby voices and act silly. He is also very emotionally consistent and strong and that is really helpful when I have bad days. He is veryy verryyy good at handling me and never runs away when I am upset. I know he really cares for me and tries his hardest to be a great man, that is the most important part.
17. If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
I want my children to be well adjusted. Everyone in my family is neurotic and emotionally problematic, while my SO's family is so strong and well adjusted. I want to really help my children accept themselves and grow a healthy confidence. I don't plan to shame them for their emotions or thoughts, I want to try and help them understand they are human and will make mistakes. I want to try and instill good values in them and understand how important it is to be a good citizen.
18. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
It depends on how close I am to them. I would inwardly be disappointed and outwardly try to explain my beliefs.
19. Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
I accept society. I see there are flaws, but people are just doing what they can. I see people as flawed individuals who do the best that they can with what they have seen, experienced and know. I think people generally try to be good, but sometimes they have poor ground to work with and they can't make the best decisions. I consider black lives matter to be a prevalent social problem. Killing cops will not fix anything.
20. How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
I don't really have friends. I used to be really natural and talkative but now I find myself thinking I said something wrong a lot and have a lot of problems trying to socialize.
21. How do you behave around strangers?
I am fairly quiet around strangers. I am not big on small talk, I don't really know how to make conversation. I am very polite however.
Whats my type?
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Originally Posted by Sol
