In type-description-land, people are caricatures, but in real life, people make allowances and amends for the people they care about and need to live with. Not everyone has a privileged easy life and can just do what they want at all times, switch jobs when they want, move when they want. Him acting out in this case - or even approaching it at all (because of complex family dynamics) - would mean he'd have to go back to his country and never see me again.
I'm a very purposeful, in charge, autonomous person in general, and have been told I'm a strong leader in very complicated difficult scenarios in the world, but when it comes to this specific situation with my family & illness, I too have my hands tied. That said, I am more adept at "just the right amount of confrontation" than anyone else here lol. But Se HA is still not going to be fluid.