Originally Posted by
anndelise
How important is it to you to even name a feeling?
Imo, it's not all that important to name the feeling, it's enough for me to figure out what parts of someone/thing I'm attracted to, and which parts I'm not.
I do feel 'angry' and after a bit of agitation and ranting and raving I'll recognize that I'm feeling 'anger', but "anger" doesn't identify anything useful. Identifying it might make me look to see what it is that is angering me. And from there I can build a 'structure/model' of the situation/event to help me better understand the situation/event. But I can do that without labeling the emotion.
As for altering my 'anger', I'll resort to (Si) in the form of things like deep breathing, walking to get the energy out, and other self soothing activities.
As for emotional chaos, my interest is more in understanding what's causing it than anything else. This i consider a fault of mine. A person will be upset, ranting/crying to me, and I'll be asking questions about what happened, what exactly did the person say, what was going on when they said it. I'll get downright nosey and personal. I KNOW it's inappropriate and that I should be focused on validating their feelings or soothing them. But I'm way to curious...aka nosey. ... I might say things like "that's a normal thing to be upset about". But mostly I'll try to help them perceive the situation in a slightly different light, or in a 'fuller' way, as a way of helping to ease their negative feelings. (Note: i realize much of this is the combo of Ne, Fi, Te, Fe.)
What do you do/think in such situations? When a person comes to you upset or crying?