Your parent's types

[Beautiful sky]

The leadership in the sense of general power is the play of Se valued types only. ENTJ, having Se as secondary and weak function would not be too assertive in this. ESTJ just do what must and don't care about power as a value at all. So in relations of ENTJ-ESTJ can be often discussions and argue, - the reason is sharing by useful data and finding best solutions (Te region), but not competition for general leadership. Real conflicts are expected in Ni and Si regions, not Se one.



The main problem of similar types is the lack of support of weak functions. Such relations are closer to colleagues doing the same work, while for marriage is needed friendship.

she is saying this from her perspective where you see the "Se". maybe they where two hard working people who didn't get along

She stated key problems which were both were extroverts and worked tremendous hours without suggesting enjoyment and relaxing time.

Her father didn't act like a friend more like an enterpriser who's focus was to generate money and sustain businesses

-just helping you see it differently other side

[Adam Strange]

Now that you mention it, I don't believe the two perceived it as a power struggle as much as I did. At least it's how I interpreted my parent's situation.

Anyways, I feel that ENTj fits my Father well. He is future thinking, always emphasizing to me the importance of my future and to learn from the mistakes of my past. The man cannot relax or stay still for even a minute, which is why he is a heavy chain smoker. If anything could be the epitome of si-polr, it is my Father. He does not understand the concept of just relaxing. "Time is money" - That's what he'd always tell me. And oh yeah, going to the doctor's? Nope, no way. My father had no concept of that. He would wheeze and cough to death, being such a heavy smoker. Going to the Doctor's, though? Nah, that was just a waste of time and effort. He held no value to his health, he'd rather spend the time focusing on work. It still amazes me.

My Mother (ESTj) is more health conscious. She rarely eats, but she is a great and innovative chef. She visits the Doctor's regularly. She could be considered anorexic, though. The woman barely eats. She can barely ever relax too, but not to the extent of my Father. Both are extremely extroverted and active people.

I sometimes wonder if this is why I struggled to understand my type. I always felt so alien and helpless compared to my parents. Both were extreme control freaks who would control every aspect of my life. My Mother is that type of Mother who tries to handle all of my finances/planning in my life (Controlling Ej temperament). My Father sacrifices his time to work to raise as much money for my family to express his love.

I have picked up habits from the both of them though. I tend to work as much as I can, I have a need for control and planning, I have difficulties relaxing (Because of how looked down upon it was in my household), and although I have a great love for food, if I am too focused on work, I'll survive on 4 hours of sleep, vitamins, and water only. I don't know if it's engrained in me or if it was a learned behaviour, maybe both. That is why I never understood my type, as now I'm away from my parents, I'm learning that without having them around to control me, I am a pretty controlling person myself.

It would be difficult to be raised by a Conflictor and a Supervisor. You have my sympathies.

I can see why your parents fought. My own mother is ESTJ, and I have a really hard time being around her. She was always "Do what I said or GTFO". No explanations, and no questioning her allowed, Basically, Hell on Earth. The only "'good" part was that the family ran smoothly as long as she got her way in everything. That meant, never criticize her in the slightest, and never question her actions, even when she was hitting you in the face.

I still have a hard time working with ESTJ's. I can appreciate their talent for perfecting things, but I will never allow another one to dictate any part of my life again.

[Beautiful sky]

It would be difficult to be raised by a Conflictor and a Supervisor. You have my sympathies.

I can see why your parents fought. My own mother is ESTJ, and I have a really hard time being around her. She was always "Do what I said or GTFO". No explanations, and no questioning her allowed, Basically, Hell on Earth. The only "'good" part was that the family ran smoothly as long as she got her way in everything. That meant, never criticize her in the slightest, and never question her actions, even when she was hitting you in the face.

I still have a hard time working with ESTJ's. I can appreciate their talent for perfecting things, but I will never allow another one to dictate any part of my life again.

hence my signature "do this disciple how you feel" and "you are this I don't care what you say"

My response. "No I'm not and you're blind"

[Adam Strange]

Your mother and my mother are so similar in that aspect. They are never wrong. Their way, or the highway. ESTj mom would also cut off everyone in conversation, nothing was more important than the valuable input that she could give in conversation. Anyways, again, the similarities are pretty eerie.

Well, quite frankly, your description of your ENTJ father fits me pretty well. With two exceptions. I've never smoked tobacco (other than about ten cigarettes, which I liked very much. I drink coffee instead) and I am not controlling. I saw controlling when I was growing up, and I swore never to do it to others.

[Beautiful sky]

Now that you mention it, I don't believe the two perceived it as a power struggle as much as I did. At least it's how I interpreted my parent's situation.

Anyways, I feel that ENTj fits my Father well. He is future thinking, always emphasizing to me the importance of my future and to learn from the mistakes of my past. The man cannot relax or stay still for even a minute, which is why he is a heavy chain smoker. If anything could be the epitome of si-polr, it is my Father. He does not understand the concept of just relaxing. "Time is money" - That's what he'd always tell me. And oh yeah, going to the doctor's? Nope, no way. My father had no concept of that. He would wheeze and cough to death, being such a heavy smoker. Going to the Doctor's, though? Nah, that was just a waste of time and effort. He held no value to his health, he'd rather spend the time focusing on work. It still amazes me.

My Mother (ESTj) is more health conscious. She rarely eats, but she is a great and innovative chef. She visits the Doctor's regularly. She could be considered anorexic, though. The woman barely eats. She can barely ever relax too, but not to the extent of my Father. Both are extremely extroverted and active people.

I sometimes wonder if this is why I struggled to understand my type. I always felt so alien and helpless compared to my parents. Both were extreme control freaks who would control every aspect of my life. My Mother is that type of Mother who tries to handle all of my finances/planning in my life (Controlling Ej temperament). My Father sacrifices his time to work to raise as much money for my family to express his love.

I have picked up habits from the both of them though. I tend to work as much as I can, I have a need for control and planning, I have difficulties relaxing (Because of how looked down upon it was in my household), and although I have a great love for food, if I am too focused on work, I'll survive on 4 hours of sleep, vitamins, and water only. I don't know if it's engrained in me or if it was a learned behaviour, maybe both. Also, although my parents were successful, they did not care for material goods. They would often wear the same clothes everyday. I also wear the same thing everyday, all black. It's just easier that way. That is why I never understood my type, as now I'm away from my parents, I'm learning that without having them around to control me, I am a pretty controlling person myself.

all that you've described speak of both types and i can see the difficulties