Your parent's types

[Sol]

"Magic pill" means that duality is not always enough

It's never enough.
Unfortunally Socionics was popularized by non-pscyhologists, but by journalists, esoterism fans etc. People did not read Jung's original source, while should. So they got information in the style of "yellow press" with simplification and exaggeration. In the style which validly reminded you popular esoteric stuff.

So why correct me?

Your statement was partly incorrect.

I get very tired of your pedantic communication style.

Such perception is common for Fe types of Te ones. While I don't like when people refuse evident things, what is common for Fe.

[golden]

Such perception is common for Fe types of Te ones. While I don't like when people refuse evident things, what is common for Fe.

1. It was a foregone conclusion that you'd respond by saying this is about Te and Fe. So there was no need for you to point that out. But if we want to play the Socionics game, I suppose your Ni problems make it impossible for you to see why it's not necessary for you to nominate yourself Mr. Instructor. Maybe you literally can't ascertain what other people can see coming and think you have to point everything out to them.

2. You have an especially severe case of know-it-all-itis. I was married to a Te-lead who is actually a professional pedant, and even he wasn't this bad. Come on, dude. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that cultural and linguistic barriers, including my own prejudices, may exacerbate the problem here.

Since I also know you always want to have the last word, go for it. This is boring.

[darya]

1. Maybe you literally can't ascertain what other people can see coming and think you have to point everything out to them.

This is my number one pet peeve when working on projects with certain people with very low Ni - they always point out the obvious, offer solutions that you've already eliminated three days ago and to top it off they're super condescending about it.

[Beautiful sky]

This is my number one pet peeve when working on projects with certain people with very low Ni - they always point out the obvious, offer solutions that you've already eliminated three days ago and to top it off they're super condescending about it.

but but they are planning, reviewing, organizing and ordering the next steps in the process to what they will do or needs to get done

Mom - ESTj
Dad - ENTj

Both of my parents are very masculine "go-getting" people. Both are extreme workaholics as well.

Me - INFp (I would consider myself quite meek and feminine) .. Funny how that worked out, huh.

you are very beautiful. How does that relationship work out? I can't see an ESTj with an ENTj although Russian literatures in socionics have written about it

[Sol]

Both the ENTj and ESTj generally in Socionics are stereotyped as leaders and entrepreneurs. With two being in a relationship, there could only be ONE leader.

The leadership in the sense of general power is the play of Se valued types only. ENTJ, having Se as secondary and weak function would not be too assertive in this. ESTJ just do what must and don't care about power as a value at all. So in relations of ENTJ-ESTJ can be often discussions and argue, - the reason is sharing by useful data and finding best solutions (Te region), but not competition for general leadership. Real conflicts are expected in Ni and Si regions, not Se one.

There was a power struggle between the two and that gnawed away at the relationship.

The main problem of similar types is the lack of support of weak functions. Such relations are closer to colleagues doing the same work, while for marriage is needed friendship.

[Beautiful sky]

The leadership in the sense of general power is the play of Se valued types only. ENTJ, having Se as secondary and weak function would not be too assertive in this. ESTJ just do what must and don't care about power as a value at all. So in relations of ENTJ-ESTJ can be often discussions and argue, - the reason is sharing by useful data and finding best solutions (Te region), but not competition for general leadership. Real conflicts are expected in Ni and Si regions, not Se one.



The main problem of similar types is the lack of support of weak functions. Such relations are closer to colleagues doing the same work, while for marriage is needed friendship.

she is saying this from her perspective where you see the "Se". maybe they where two hard working people who didn't get along

She stated key problems which were both were extroverts and worked tremendous hours without suggesting enjoyment and relaxing time.

Her father didn't act like a friend more like an enterpriser who's focus was to generate money and sustain businesses

-just helping you see it differently other side

[Adam Strange]

Now that you mention it, I don't believe the two perceived it as a power struggle as much as I did. At least it's how I interpreted my parent's situation.

Anyways, I feel that ENTj fits my Father well. He is future thinking, always emphasizing to me the importance of my future and to learn from the mistakes of my past. The man cannot relax or stay still for even a minute, which is why he is a heavy chain smoker. If anything could be the epitome of si-polr, it is my Father. He does not understand the concept of just relaxing. "Time is money" - That's what he'd always tell me. And oh yeah, going to the doctor's? Nope, no way. My father had no concept of that. He would wheeze and cough to death, being such a heavy smoker. Going to the Doctor's, though? Nah, that was just a waste of time and effort. He held no value to his health, he'd rather spend the time focusing on work. It still amazes me.

My Mother (ESTj) is more health conscious. She rarely eats, but she is a great and innovative chef. She visits the Doctor's regularly. She could be considered anorexic, though. The woman barely eats. She can barely ever relax too, but not to the extent of my Father. Both are extremely extroverted and active people.

I sometimes wonder if this is why I struggled to understand my type. I always felt so alien and helpless compared to my parents. Both were extreme control freaks who would control every aspect of my life. My Mother is that type of Mother who tries to handle all of my finances/planning in my life (Controlling Ej temperament). My Father sacrifices his time to work to raise as much money for my family to express his love.

I have picked up habits from the both of them though. I tend to work as much as I can, I have a need for control and planning, I have difficulties relaxing (Because of how looked down upon it was in my household), and although I have a great love for food, if I am too focused on work, I'll survive on 4 hours of sleep, vitamins, and water only. I don't know if it's engrained in me or if it was a learned behaviour, maybe both. That is why I never understood my type, as now I'm away from my parents, I'm learning that without having them around to control me, I am a pretty controlling person myself.

It would be difficult to be raised by a Conflictor and a Supervisor. You have my sympathies.

I can see why your parents fought. My own mother is ESTJ, and I have a really hard time being around her. She was always "Do what I said or GTFO". No explanations, and no questioning her allowed, Basically, Hell on Earth. The only "'good" part was that the family ran smoothly as long as she got her way in everything. That meant, never criticize her in the slightest, and never question her actions, even when she was hitting you in the face.

I still have a hard time working with ESTJ's. I can appreciate their talent for perfecting things, but I will never allow another one to dictate any part of my life again.

[Beautiful sky]

Now that you mention it, I don't believe the two perceived it as a power struggle as much as I did. At least it's how I interpreted my parent's situation.

Anyways, I feel that ENTj fits my Father well. He is future thinking, always emphasizing to me the importance of my future and to learn from the mistakes of my past. The man cannot relax or stay still for even a minute, which is why he is a heavy chain smoker. If anything could be the epitome of si-polr, it is my Father. He does not understand the concept of just relaxing. "Time is money" - That's what he'd always tell me. And oh yeah, going to the doctor's? Nope, no way. My father had no concept of that. He would wheeze and cough to death, being such a heavy smoker. Going to the Doctor's, though? Nah, that was just a waste of time and effort. He held no value to his health, he'd rather spend the time focusing on work. It still amazes me.

My Mother (ESTj) is more health conscious. She rarely eats, but she is a great and innovative chef. She visits the Doctor's regularly. She could be considered anorexic, though. The woman barely eats. She can barely ever relax too, but not to the extent of my Father. Both are extremely extroverted and active people.

I sometimes wonder if this is why I struggled to understand my type. I always felt so alien and helpless compared to my parents. Both were extreme control freaks who would control every aspect of my life. My Mother is that type of Mother who tries to handle all of my finances/planning in my life (Controlling Ej temperament). My Father sacrifices his time to work to raise as much money for my family to express his love.

I have picked up habits from the both of them though. I tend to work as much as I can, I have a need for control and planning, I have difficulties relaxing (Because of how looked down upon it was in my household), and although I have a great love for food, if I am too focused on work, I'll survive on 4 hours of sleep, vitamins, and water only. I don't know if it's engrained in me or if it was a learned behaviour, maybe both. Also, although my parents were successful, they did not care for material goods. They would often wear the same clothes everyday. I also wear the same thing everyday, all black. It's just easier that way. That is why I never understood my type, as now I'm away from my parents, I'm learning that without having them around to control me, I am a pretty controlling person myself.

all that you've described speak of both types and i can see the difficulties