Quote Originally Posted by Accipiter View Post
I really think that learning about duality is going to have a negative effect for me as an ILI. It almost validates my behavior of disconnecting myself romantically which in my mind is how you end up unmarried for life.

If I wanted to engineer conditions to meet one of these people who are magically obligated to approach me and my slumped "Do not disturb" body language, how would I do that? I say that half-jokingly but it sounds like if I did the approaching, the SEE would not pick up on it?

In all seriousness, I can't imagine where I would try to find a SEE or even an enneagram 3, 7 or 8. Where do you even start with that? I don't mind putting in the work to test it if anyone has ideas.
Ya don't disconnect romantically, but you had best have mastered your "little brain" if ya catch my meaning. Assuming you're a guy that is, girls got other issues there but it amounts to the same problem from a different angle. Still, be able to not become a gibbering mush, stalker, or start to worship your romantic prospect as a god if a 10 out of 10 decides to chat you up and/or ask you out is step 1.

Step 2, be independent in all ways relevant to you. For me it's materially and spiritually. Materially is easy if you ain't materialistic. For example, I just needs a net connection good enough to browse sites like this, pure water, and food that's not slowly poisoning me somehow. If I got that shit, then I can live in a crappy ass tent/rusty van with enthusiasm. I wonder if that's a thing for ILI's. Perhaps, for us, once a pretty basic baseline by the standards of the time they live in is met in regards to quality of life they're pretty much set. Fun question for later. As for the spiritual part, acknowledge the fact that you will worship a god of some type whether you like it or not. Me? I went with the poor guy we nailed to a stick at Calvary. It's worked out well for me so far.

Still, point remains, have something you'll value above both her and yourself. Humans are programmed to believe in a "higher" purpose or being. Figure that out for yourself, or else someone else will do that for you and make you their pawn in doing so. If you're really an ILI than I know you'd hate nothing more than to become someone else's unwilling or, even worse, unwitting pawn. That last one, ho boy, that's what I'd wish upon my worst enemy.

I hope my ramblings have been helpful somehow. Thing is, I've just always banked on my and the grace of God. It's always worked for me so I can't exactly not recommend it to others .