SEE/ESFp and ILI/INTp Duality? (Aggressor-Victim)

[Chae]

SEE/ILI is about solving each other's problems.

• SEE instills drive+passion in the ILI who lacks force and an emotional perception of the people around them.
• ILI instills foresight+prudence in the SEE who lacks lateral thinking and a coherent voice of reason.

= Balzac thinks multiple steps ahead while Caesar regulates the moment.

Love means letting go of ego (me --> we) and in the context of SEE-ILI, mutual life improvement happens when they start to replace their own needs with the ones of their partner. Which happens by default because each lacks what the other just loves to provide.

LIE-ESI duality follows the same principle: conjoint enhancement.

There's also a lot of appreciation going on. SEE shows that they like a constant challenge and strategical advice/data, ILI shows that they like the volitional pressure and countless charms.

The latter is quite a miracle, which astounds SEE who has observed the aloof ILI. SEE finds pleasure in finding those lovely soft spots - and without even trying to be someone different (SEE has many social masks), they strike a chord in ILI. ILI, in turn, has figured out SEE's behavioral struggle long ago and adores it when they show their authentic self. ILI finally lightens up, SEE can finally tone it down, both don't have to fear judgment. That's why duality carries the label of "it's so easy to be around them". Complementation > completion. A beneficial equilibrium of previous excessive individualism/distance (ILI) and excessive attachment/infatuation (SEE) ensues. ERGO: Fear of intimacy and fear of being alone are resolved. Both slowly bring out their partner's painful issues & show them that all worries were unfounded.

Example: A date. Not the first one, but let's say, in a more advanced state of their relationship. Now, here we go:

1) ILI comes up with an idea (best available location/activity/budget/point in time...) and then prepares everything, mostly in their head or verbally in exchange with SEE. The Ni-brain automatically imagines how /any/ scenario would turn out, even disturbing ones because this is a complex world, and then uses Te to formulate "in-case-of-x-plans". Fi is working overtime because it sees a chance to show its love, which results in overly perfectionistic tendencies. ILI prefers to spend their already low emotional energy on one person only so they will be 100% focused. They tend to be sacrificial in that regard but hide it. Lots of effort and tunnel vision-like overthinking takes place.

2) SEE is responsible for the implementations & spontaneous actions, maneuvering of all sorts, lifting the mood energetically, making the date unforgettable. They are insecure about all the tiny details so they accept all advice, sometimes grumpily (ILI thinks that it's cute, and giggles as they have foreseen it, too). On the other hand, taking care of their Dual's hidden anxiety (they can feel and see it, no matter how pokerfaced ILI is) and often pedantic-paranoid failure scenarios makes them feel good. SEE loves being able to make positive changes in others. Converting a particularly misanthropic ILI would be their masterpiece. Meaning, they diffuse all problems that are none. If something "disturbing" does happen, SEE is more than happy to save the day, being especially proud because `their´ ILI predicted everything and informed them. "How shrewd my partner is... and they only look at me... only I can make them act like this". Se lends resoluteness/decisive attitude, Fi the right way to deal with ILI's difficult emotions, Te the need to be competent in following the Ni-masterplan(s).

Something else in response to some other posts: It's not that ILI is SEE's victim, it's more about reciprocal & subtextual teasing because they see their partner's very opposite weaknesses, things that they have mastered brilliantly themselves. That's why outsiders say that they seem so unlikely to be a couple at first. Even the dual partners are surprised that they flow so naturally. Victim-aggressor attitudes say more about initiative, which both provide in their own way: ILI - mentally / SEE - physically, as seen in the example.

Long story short, I found this nice cartoon that pretty much sums it up: