SEE/ESFp and ILI/INTp Duality? (Aggressor-Victim)

[Contra]

I don't know what your type is, but beyond some very very general statements, most of this romantic-behavioral stuff is bullshit and these broad, sweeping statements can't be made. I don't think you're getting that great of advice. I'm ILI, and i've been able to get along great with female ESIs, SEEs, IEIs, EIIs, IEEs, LIEs, ILIs, SLEs, LSIs, and even EIEs. There have been bad cases of every one of these types as well. The difference is in the highs and in some cases the consistency (e.g. i get along with ESIs fairly consistently).

[consentingadult]

I don't know what your type is, but beyond some very very general statements, most of this romantic-behavioral stuff is bullshit and these broad, sweeping statements can't be made. I don't think you're getting that great of advice. I'm ILI, and i've been able to get along great with female ESIs, SEEs, IEIs, EIIs, IEEs, LIEs, ILIs, SLEs, LSIs, and even EIEs. There have been bad cases of every one of these types as well. The difference is in the highs and in some cases the consistency (e.g. i get along with ESIs fairly consistently).

We are talking about close psychological distance here, or aren't we? I get along fine with many types just as well, even with LSIs at times. Problems, to varying degrees, start when close interaction is required, e.g. at work. I personally get along great with LSEs on the friendship level, but things are starting to fall apart once we have to work together on achieving some goals. Likewise, ILIs a great friends for intellectual conversation, but once I start to work with them, I'm often inclined to give them the proverbial kick in the butt in order to get them on the right track or make them toe the line.

The closer the distance, or dependency if you will, the more likely interpersonal dynamics are going to rear their ugly heads. I do however, think there are people who express their type in a mild fashion, and others who express it very strongly, and obvious that highly influences such dynamics.

[Contra]

We are talking about close psychological distance here, or aren't we? I get along fine with many types just as well, even with LSIs at times. Problems, to varying degrees, start when close interaction is required, e.g. at work. I personally get along great with LSEs on the friendship level, but things are starting to fall apart once we have to work together on achieving some goals. Likewise, ILIs a great friends for intellectual conversation, but once I start to work with them, I'm often inclined to give them the proverbial kick in the butt in order to get them on the right track or make them toe the line.

The closer the distance, or dependency if you will, the more likely interpersonal dynamics are going to rear their ugly heads. I do however, think there are people who express their type in a mild fashion, and others who express it very strongly, and obvious that highly influences such dynamics.

I'm pretty much talking about friendship in the psych distance of the examples i've given. So probably closer in distance than you are thinking but not necessarily a relationship. I believe whether i can have a romantic relationship with people of these types needs to be considered on a person to person basis because some are more accepting of my personality than others, and, in those cases, type plays less of a role than one might expect. Anyone can be flexible or make sacrifices, and, just as an example, in many cases i can see getting along better with ESIs than SEEs.

Even if you can make the case that certain common dynamics arise when you get closer to someone, my experience doesn't match yours. I don't want anyone telling me what to do or regulating my behavior. I don't feel a need for submission or subjugation. If anything i tend to regulate my partner a bit. I will say that i really don't care what activities i'm involved in on a day to day basis so long as i like who i'm with so my partner could essentially figure this part out for me (unless they like sitting at home and talking about arcane theories and ideas, but even i wouldn't want that). I'm flexible externally but not internally (internally meaning my beliefs, values, ideas). I'm not passive aggressive at all. If anything i force communication out in the open, and, in my experience, SEEs are typically the ones who will hide or bury the issue.

I don't really build barriers either. I may make it hard to get my attention at first but often times this is just because I'm not initially that interested or at the least i'm uncertain. Once I've decided on a person, I make it extremely straightforward and pretty much respond to all cues, and i can be fairly aggressive under the knowledge that the person I'm pursuing is interested. If the other person doesn't like that then it probably won't work.

Anyway, i think you get the point. I don't doubt that this behavior changes across gender, but I really don't think you can apply these specific behaviors to every ILI. I've met ILIs more aggressive than me and ILIs who were less aggressive. I don't see submission as a common theme though their willingness to go along with what their partner wants to do may foster this perception.