SEE/ESFp and ILI/INTp Duality? (Aggressor-Victim)

[Gypsy]

It should not be that difficult, but talking to ILIs online isn't really 'short psychological distance', especially for Fi ego types, that need to be in other people's physical presence to be able to make an 'intuïtive' judgement. But once you meet ILIs irl, the dynamics will demonstrate themselves soon enough. An ESI will most likely not only be highly angered by ILIs perceived passive/aggresiveness, but also by their own 'cruel' behavior: when closely interacting with ILIs, ESIs might transgress their own well-defined boundaries, and they will actually start feeling bad about themselves. No such thing happens with SEEs: it's not that they can deal with being 'cruel' better, but in the interactions with their dual, the passive-aggressiveness is actually reduced from the outset. An SEE doesn't have to do anything out of the ordinary to accomplish that.

Makes sense. In the article, the ILI's "building of barriers" suddenly expecting the other person to just bust through them would likely be met with offense by me and I would probably "cut them off," if you will. Would be like they're toying with me or something. I don't deal with that crap. Lol.

[consentingadult]

Makes sense. In the article, the ILI's "building of barriers" suddenly expecting the other person to just bust through them would likely be met with offense by me and I would probably "cut them off," if you will. Would be like they're toying with me or something. I don't deal with that crap. Lol.

I'm not ESI myself, but my experiences with ILIs are very similar nonetheless. One thing though, I do not consider ILIs behavior as 'building barriers', although I can imagine Se-ego types would feel it that way. To me it feels like the don't practice what they preach. E.g. I once was in a relationship with an ILI woman, an she always came far too late on appointments we made, appointments to which she proposed the time! To me this felt like she actually wasn't all that interested in me, although she probably made herself belief she really was (being very desperate to become a mother, that is). The result was the same: I basically slammed the door in her face each time she would try rekindle the fire. The last thing I heard from her was an email message saying she was moving out of town, so I no longer needed to be afraid of running into to her in town (which probably was another way of saying: "but you can still have me if you want to")