SEE/ESFp and ILI/INTp Duality? (Aggressor-Victim)

[Adam Strange]

I'm really, really curious to know what an SEE's and ILI's duality looks like in a romantic relationship. What's it like?

SheWolf, there is an SEE female named HotSauce who posted here a few times recently regarding her relationship with her ILI BF. You could look for those posts, or try PM'ing her.

Beyond that, I have no experience with SEE-ILI duality. I know only one SEE (married to an IEI) and several ILI's, none of whom are dualized. Three of the four ILI's are not married or in relationships, but have been in relationships which failed before. I watched a couple fail. The ILI distances himself from his partner, and the partner gives up. The fourth ILI is married to an ESI.

My guess is that @consentingadult's link http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...Stratiyevskaya should give you some hints as to how the SEE-ILI relationship would go.

[Gypsy]

SheWolf, there is an SEE female named HotSauce who posted here a few times recently regarding her relationship with her ILI BF. You could look for those posts, or try PM'ing her.

Beyond that, I have no experience with SEE-ILI duality. I know only one SEE (married to an IEI) and several ILI's, none of whom are dualized. Three of the four ILI's are not married or in relationships, but have been in relationships which failed before. I watched a couple fail. The ILI distances himself from his partner, and the partner gives up. The fourth ILI is married to an ESI.

My guess is that @consentingadult's link http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...Stratiyevskaya should give you some hints as to how the SEE-ILI relationship would go.

This genuinely makes me wonder if I lean ESI...

The example that was given between those two fictional characters is where I think so. I don't often fit the "relentless" persistence that comes with Se-dom. In fact, I've professed my passion before and have been rejected, in which point I just give up. I was then reminded, after the hurt of course, of my own ethical principles.

Over time, Dreiser starts to sober up from the "cooling" effect of his activity partner and his ever-increasing resistance. Unlike ILI's dual, the SEE, Dreiser doesn't continuously attempt to overcome this resistance, which is somewhat disappointing to his activity partner. It is at this point that Dreiser remembers about his "program" ethical function and all of his ethical principles that he tries to adhere to. He analyzes the "excesses" of his behavior and starts to regret his transgressions and impositions. Then, he distances from Balzac.

Though, it could be phobic 6. Hm.

[consentingadult]

This genuinely makes me wonder if I lean ESI...

It should not be that difficult, but talking to ILIs online isn't really 'short psychological distance', especially for Fi ego types, that need to be in other people's physical presence to be able to make an 'intuïtive' judgement. But once you meet ILIs irl, the dynamics will demonstrate themselves soon enough. An ESI will most likely not only be highly angered by ILIs perceived passive/aggresiveness, but also by their own 'cruel' behavior: when closely interacting with ILIs, ESIs might transgress their own well-defined boundaries, and they will actually start feeling bad about themselves. No such thing happens with SEEs: it's not that they can deal with being 'cruel' better, but in the interactions with their dual, the passive-aggressiveness is actually reduced from the outset. An SEE doesn't have to do anything out of the ordinary to accomplish that.

[Gypsy]

It should not be that difficult, but talking to ILIs online isn't really 'short psychological distance', especially for Fi ego types, that need to be in other people's physical presence to be able to make an 'intuïtive' judgement. But once you meet ILIs irl, the dynamics will demonstrate themselves soon enough. An ESI will most likely not only be highly angered by ILIs perceived passive/aggresiveness, but also by their own 'cruel' behavior: when closely interacting with ILIs, ESIs might transgress their own well-defined boundaries, and they will actually start feeling bad about themselves. No such thing happens with SEEs: it's not that they can deal with being 'cruel' better, but in the interactions with their dual, the passive-aggressiveness is actually reduced from the outset. An SEE doesn't have to do anything out of the ordinary to accomplish that.

Makes sense. In the article, the ILI's "building of barriers" suddenly expecting the other person to just bust through them would likely be met with offense by me and I would probably "cut them off," if you will. Would be like they're toying with me or something. I don't deal with that crap. Lol.

[consentingadult]

Makes sense. In the article, the ILI's "building of barriers" suddenly expecting the other person to just bust through them would likely be met with offense by me and I would probably "cut them off," if you will. Would be like they're toying with me or something. I don't deal with that crap. Lol.

I'm not ESI myself, but my experiences with ILIs are very similar nonetheless. One thing though, I do not consider ILIs behavior as 'building barriers', although I can imagine Se-ego types would feel it that way. To me it feels like the don't practice what they preach. E.g. I once was in a relationship with an ILI woman, an she always came far too late on appointments we made, appointments to which she proposed the time! To me this felt like she actually wasn't all that interested in me, although she probably made herself belief she really was (being very desperate to become a mother, that is). The result was the same: I basically slammed the door in her face each time she would try rekindle the fire. The last thing I heard from her was an email message saying she was moving out of town, so I no longer needed to be afraid of running into to her in town (which probably was another way of saying: "but you can still have me if you want to")