I dated an SLE for a short term. I can say the following differences The spontaneity was not adequate for my psyche. I really like the "let's plan it" approach to going somewhere and even plan where we will have dinner and make things predictable. SLE took me with their senses "there's this restaurant at the beach overlooking the surf with big window. We can eat there" It was an overload of sensations. Even when we got back to his place he wanted to play the guitar as we took in the sunset. I just wanted to lay on the couch and relax. So there was no clear cut "relax time" as there is with my dual, which I love so much. I appreciated SLE's connection to his family and the history he shared with me. He was very proud of his heritage and of the crafts that were passed down to him. It made things very rich for Fi types who value family and friendship. I didn't have enough emotional output for him. After a while I just wanted to escape and be at home. I didn't want to go out any more. I didn't want to do things. He was very kind. He made me tea but in all he did there was that element of heightened sensation and will where I wanted to be at home, watch a few shows and listen to someone talk about their work and what had transpired. He talked about his work as he was working. I'm trying to think of specific things. Also SLE are protective, they will reach out to me and ask me what's going on and in what ways can they be of help. I find my duals are there for me but let me do what I want in a "I guided you, you decide."
I'm just not emotionally varied and I can be quite willful. I'm not changeable, I'm steady and predictable and always very consistent. My duals always get a report of where I am so that they can track my activity. From when I leave for work and i get there I'm texting "I'm at work babe" to going to lunch "I'm going to lunch" when I get home safely "I'm at home." I don't know why and I can't explain to you what it is that I find so even and comforting in this.
Maybe being Ep and having an Ip dual who can do things spontaneously makes them interact on a day to day basis without tracking on each other's actions so much. IDK
I also find it sad when SLE cry ( a few females have) and I don't have enough Fe to say "Aww, I'm sorry. I hope you feel better' with that loud and expressive sympathetic tone. All I do is reach in for a hug and say "I'm here for you if you want to start pouring out your troubles. I'll listen"
SLE define the things that are "real power" "real man" etc. It's the difference between being a commander and a working bee. I'll take my duals
Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that's real power.
With LSE it's what they enjoy doing and what they do that is the center of most conversations
What the right ways of doing things are, identifying how others do it the way they do and then saying "I like the way he thinks"
I enjoy going on motorcycle trips and stopping in small towns and enjoying drinks with the locals. Doing Te and enjoying Si
Originally Posted by Maritsa
I dated an SLE for a short term. I can say the following differences The spontaneity was not adequate for my psyche. I really like the "let's plan it" approach to going somewhere and even plan where we will have dinner and make things predictable. SLE took me with their senses "there's this restaurant at the beach overlooking the surf with big window. We can eat there" It was an overload of sensations. Even when we got back to his place he wanted to play the guitar as we took in the sunset. I just wanted to lay on the couch and relax. So there was no clear cut "relax time" as there is with my dual, which I love so much. I appreciated SLE's connection to his family and the history he shared with me. He was very proud of his heritage and of the crafts that were passed down to him. It made things very rich for Fi types who value family and friendship. I didn't have enough emotional output for him. After a while I just wanted to escape and be at home. I didn't want to go out any more. I didn't want to do things. He was very kind. He made me tea but in all he did there was that element of heightened sensation and will where I wanted to be at home, watch a few shows and listen to someone talk about their work and what had transpired. He talked about his work as he was working. I'm trying to think of specific things. Also SLE are protective, they will reach out to me and ask me what's going on and in what ways can they be of help. I find my duals are there for me but let me do what I want in a "I guided you, you decide."
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