I don't share my insight with others a lot - it's true. Because when I do and try to explain nobody listens to me even tho I almost always end up being right about the outcome of a situation and how it should be avoided... I got fed up trying to try. Every time I do try- I just end up getting pissed and I don't like being so pissed off. And I can get in this self-righteous mode where I feel like I'm the only good person and everybody else is just a hateful and sadistic asshole that wants bad things to happen.
Later on they will realize I'm correct but it's too late. I'm tired of people apologizing after the fact, I'm supposed to be human and forgive- but it feels like manipulation. I don't care that you are sorry or not- just stop being an idiot that can't see something coming or pretending not to & totally ignoring me because you secretly do want something horrible to occur?
Or I'm trying to spare somebody's feelings. People are easily triggered and weak, not just me. Ppl like to say 'don't be a pussy interact more' but if u say the wrong thing it can make somebody shoot up a school or do something grimdark or offensive to ppl, and I guess yeah - IEIs are pretty hopeful and optimistic and kind ppl by our nature usually, and I don't want to make matters worse. When push comes to shove , I am a kind of a goody goody and I don't want to see things be destroyed ((unless they deserve to be destroyed)). I know that 'Least said soonest mended' etc. Plus Ni is often both cold and personal, and many people would rather talk about external things outside of themselves. Which is often Te-related, and an IEI's polr... so hence the "shyness."
The part I related the most is probably how I myself am healthy in relationship to others treatment of me and how much I'm liked in a Fi way - which makes sense to me cuz IEI's have 4D Fi... so it's like impossible for it not to be this way. If people like us, we easily and quickly shoot to power with little effort. If people don't like us, it's like we're in a Hellish grimdark torture chamber. This ILI once said online 'I don't care that I'm not liked! Ppl shouldn't care so much about being liked!' Yeah in theory I don't either, I don't mean to be some codependent people pleaser but its like, cuz my Fi is the way it is... that's just how it goes.
When ppl like us enough we don't have to do much of anything, power and resources are just like given to us. That's why when ppl say 'just work harder!' it's usually bullshit for us- unless maybe that means it's running away to better groups of people our Fi meshes with. A lot of IEIs blame themselves over things that are actually other people's fault- their only weakness is they are absorbing other people's bullshit too much and not being self confident enough to move. This is why we dual seek Se, the "Fuck humanity" serial killer function. <3
A SEE told me once to stop trying to project my identity into others- but when u have 4D Fi it's impossible not to do this- I just don't know how to turn it off, because it's so objectively strong. I feel like, I am my relationships with others. Ppl tell me to get self confidence, I can't do that unless the other person gets a heart too though... yeah sure, something about 4D Fi makes a person a codependent pussy but it's just the way I am. Many high functioning IEIs are often just wealthy celebrities for this reason tbh. The wrong environment, an IEI is suicidal. The right one- a wealthy and self confident Oprah etc.
I don't think I have super natural powers for real or I'm like some Divine Being like some other IEIs do. Or if I do act like that, I'm obviously just larping or trying to play with others. And if people take me too seriously, then I think it's their fault for being stupid. (Like the 4D Te disciplinarians that I loathe) I know my shit smells like everybody else's - I really don't think Ni is really as mystical as people make it out to be, because it's intrinsically tied with Se - a function of ghetto drug dealing cocksucking and boring dads driving their kids to Wendy's while they cry. I sometimes get upset if other IEIs act too Stoopid Magikal Kreature like, but I also get it. If they were just themselves with no frosting of bliss, they would just be Carrie White without any super powers and nobody really wants to be that.
so yeah I liked this a lot. I'm not sure that I care if I'm competent though.