The "whole deal" being Duality?Originally Posted by Adam Strange
Somehow I don't foresee Duality truly happening/working out for me. As of now, ending up with a Semi-Dual seems much more probable.
But that's something my own observations, aka my Ni, is telling me. Who knows, I might be wrong.
I am not saying Duality will never happen for me, but the chances are not that high.
The chances are higher for you than for your dual, because there are more of them than there are of you.The "whole deal" being Duality?
Somehow I don't foresee Duality truly happening/working out for me. As of now, ending up with a Semi-Dual seems much more probable.
But that's something my own observations, aka my Ni, is telling me. Who knows, I might be wrong.
I am not saying Duality will never happen for me, but the chances are not that high.
I think that Duality is not the "whole deal", it is just one element of compatibility. Other factors include what one author calls a "love map", which I take to mean that there is an overall attraction (can I see myself with this person?), there is the matching of the first Enneagram instincts, and there must be good levels of mental health. Plus, there is the requirement of genuinely caring about the other person. So many things to consider. If you have most of them, then Duality alone can probably be tossed. After all, I was in a relationship with my Supervisor for a long time, and much of it was pretty good, because we had most of the other things.
I don't share your pessimism about your finding a Dual. I see IEI's with SLE's often. SLE's are fairly common, in my opinion, more common irl than IEI's. I know one IEI who is ten years divorced from an ILE, and she has dated some SLE's, but they either cheated on her or spent her money. Not all of them are like that, though. Probably very few are like that. An SLE that I work with has said he would marry the IEI in a heartbeat, even though he's already married. She laughed when I told her this. They had met once at a party and she didn't remember him, but he certainly remembered her. Her problem is not finding SLE's, it is finding men who are as smart and responsible as she is, who are not either gay, married, or on death's door from reckless living.
So, just put yourself out there. Sporting events, fencing or dance classes if you want an SLE-Se, Art museums, Physics lectures or some intellectual club event if you want an SLE-Ti. You can do it. They are looking for you, even if they don't know it themselves.
I am not pessimistic about finding a Dual at all. On the contrary, finding one is not really the problem, as you have said yourself – SLEs are not that uncommon.
It is rather that I feel like the likelihood of the relationship working long-term is not that good, for personal reasons.
(It is not a "bad" chance, but other matches are more likely to work. Again, for reasons outside Socionics.)
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