Examples of Conflictor Interactions

[Aylen]

I'll give an example.

One day our phones went out because of electrical issues and the SLE coworker was asked to help with the phone system. When someone contributes their assistance I have a tendency to complement them by highlighting their efforts so I said (I'll change the name to BOB) "Wow, Bob look at you. You're the phone guy. Nice." What he did was instead of taking this as a compliment of his efforts he laughed saying "wow, Bob. ahahahah" I thought why won't you acknowledge my praise of you? LSE would feel pride, proud of this acknowledgement because they like the attention and being noted. He just ignored me and that made me feel unappreciated for having noticed him. As if it didn't matter. In this way conflict will build because after a while I won't get the feedback that I'm looking for.

First let me say your new avatar is very pretty.

Ok, so I wondered about this because it sounds unlike SLE to dismiss praise unless they found it demeaning in some way. They kind of eat it up if you do it the right way. I just talked to an SLE and told him this as a hypothetical and asked why he would not respond positively to someone saying what you said.

He said the reasons he might not take it well would be tone of voice and whether or not he liked the person to begin with. Also he confirmed that he would not respond well if he thought it was demeaning calling him a phone guy if his skill set was above that. I asked him if that meant he would feel like his rank was lowered and he said yes. I don't know why I asked that but wasn't surprised by his answer.

[Beautiful sky]

First let me say your new avatar is very pretty.

Ok, so I wondered about this because it sounds unlike SLE to dismiss praise unless they found it demeaning in some way. They kind of eat it up if you do it the right way. I just talked to an SLE and told him this as a hypothetical and asked why he would not respond positively to someone saying what you said.

He said the reasons he might not take it well would be tone of voice and whether or not he liked the person to begin with. Also he confirmed that he would not respond well if he thought it was demeaning calling him a phone guy if his skill set was above that. I asked him if that meant he would feel like his rank was lowered and he said yes. I don't know why I asked that but wasn't surprised by his answer.

He did find it demeaning which I found astonishing. Yes my tone of voice was strange and I can't describe it. An LSE would say "right, you're complimenting me" they would get it. But he didn't and it makes it so hard for me to talk to him So hard

[Aylen]

He did find it demeaning which I found astonishing. Yes my tone of voice was strange and I can't describe it. An LSE would say "right, you're complimenting me" they would get it. But he didn't and it makes it so hard for me to talk to him So hard

Yeah don't waste your time on that. He probably decided he doesn't like you for something and will not respond well to you. I would just be civil to him and keep my distance if it wasn't work related. If he does something for you just leave it at "thank you". Otherwise he might hurt your feelings again.