I have got parents whose PoLR is
.
My mother is ESE; her being my Supervisee made her a bit confused in regards to my
, but she'd respect it for the most part. Mostly she encouraged me in my writing and creative endeavors, without going too deep. Listening to/reading my stories was not something she'd do that often; she would praise my verbosity ("I could never write like that"), but the content itself was largely foreign to her. Regardless, she would say I should write a book someday. She helped me the best at establishing and keeping contacts with other kids. Her being
lead and SO/SX was very beneficial in this regard. Even so, I've never felt like I was completely heard. I also did not speak when I was a young child (before going to school), I even had to go to speech therapy, because I would not talk much. (In this light, it was ironic I would later show a talent in writing and languages.)
My LSE father was mostly not at home for work when I grew up. He seemed distant, though I could admire him from that distance. This was probably when my relationship with him was at its best – when it was not too close, and we only got together for some activities, like rollerblading or going to watch a movie. (No wonder my second Love Language is Quality Time.)
Eventually we moved into a house, and my father was regularly at home. In my teens, our interaction was the most tense. We fought every week about something, often about nothings. I had lost most of my closest friends around that time, so I was at my weakest and most vulnerable. Conflicting with him made it worse for me. He gave me the feeling there was something wrong with me, and I was weak. It took quite a toll on my self-esteem. I started to trust myself and my intuition less, and accumulated a lot of guilt, shame, and despair.
(Also, I had grown up with my LSI cousin as a kid, with whom I was rather close in the past, but we grew apart once we were occupied with middle school. Apart from that, as a female teen it became more odd to be "just" friends with boys; most Beta STs are male, so I ended up lacking Beta interactions. Btw, no matter what people like to say, Beta NFs are not that common.)
All of those factors lead me to become depressed and feel utterly empty inside, "broken" if you will. I became obsessed with "fixing" this "broken" part of me that was just not valued, nor "right". I became obsessed with reaching perfection. (This could be the way I moved to my E1 point in an unhealthy manner. And yes, your "growth" point can also have a negative influence on your life.) I almost became sort of robotic, lost all my feelings, my creativity, my intuition; I felt like I had lost my "brilliance". I ended up focusing on my Si Role a lot more.
In High School, I did fairly well, because most of my free-time I ended up studying. Even so, there were instances when people just could not understand me. It was frustrating to me how my EII English teacher could not really understand or value what I would write in assignments. Other teachers told me my writing was "too complicated and complex", difficult to comprehend. I should write more precisely, to the point, shorter. I suppose this is the only way my Ni had survived, but it had been degraded to a form where it was too difficult to grasp. All in all, I was very introverted around that time, my Ni felt like the only understanding friend in a dark room with no walls or ground. At the same time, I hated it...
Fast forward...
I still feel unvalued for my contributions in real life, on a regular basis. (It is not that bad, though I can feel it. Being around LSIs and certain ESIs in some classes makes me feel better about my contributions.) At the moment I am studying Film (theoretically) and Literature. Most of my lecturers/teachers are EII. Similar to the EII teacher in High School, they do not value what I have to say that much. (In elementary school I was the best student in my class, only straight-As on my resumes. My teacher was ESI. I believe this had quite an influence on how she perceived me and my contributions. Intertype relations do matter in school and work.)