My Issues with Mathematics

[Contra]

I pretty much have the same issue as the OP. Although i also find purely abstract mathematics hard to conceptualize-- and for some reason the conceptualization is important to me. I notice a lot of people who are very good at math don't even worry about understanding it as much as knowing the steps involved. I used to badger my math teachers in high school about why we are doing what we are doing and what each step 'means' I generally found that they usually couldn't answer my questions. They'd just get frustrated.

I also had a stats teacher in college who i did the same thing too. I couldn't seem to understand the material without a lengthy explanation as to what is being quantified and how it might look visually-- sort of putting the stats into philsophical terms, for lack of a better descriptor. She did it flawlessly but I found this method was taking too much of my time even if it worked.

I also find that no matter how much help I get, because the material is taught very mechanistically, I have practically 0 retention for math. No matter how well I understand it at one point, it's like i have amnesia.

My personal answer for this? We just have different brains and different brains/minds find different things cognitively useful. I have never had a pressing question that would have a purely mathematical answer. Because of this I figure i just don't conceptualize it well-- and i certainly won't retain it. Obviously my explanation may not be the same as yours because you enjoy math. so, really, i don't know.

Edit: I'll also add that I feel that uncertainty the OP talks about very acutely when i'm doing math. It's the reason I'd badger my stats teacher. I need to know precisely what I'm trying to measure and how the answer should look for that uncertainty to go away. I mean, how can you know a mistake wasn't made if you don't know what your trying to measure and what a reasonable answer looks like?

Edit2: I've always hated the brain explanation, and I'm still not comfortable with it, because it feels like such a cop-out. I mean, how is abstract math such an issue when i don't struggle in pretty much any other subject? But no, i'm cursed with the material just hitting the windshield of my brain and sliding along the outside.