I don't get dual relationships (duality)

[Adam Strange]

I don't think my relationship problems are due to my having inadequate feelings, or any great tendency to make the relationship transactional, or any desire on my part to "own" the other person or to control them. Rather, I think the root of my problems is that I have some narcissistic tendencies and I have the undesired prejudice that my partner will make my life great.

When I step back, I'd say that I do feel that my life is better when I have a partner (or when I'm around duals), but a partner can't fix what is wrong with my life. Only I can do that.

However, my assertion that people who initially get together to collaborate on projects or their lives will have roughly equal social and psychological "value" still stands. Humans cooperate best when they are roughly equal, but an individual's feelings can and do heavily weight the numbers, and if, for example, someone gets cancer and their objective numbers drop, that doesn't mean that their subjective value will change. We get attached to people. We care.