I don't get dual relationships (duality)

[Faith]

I think @Ragdoll Cat 's main takeaway for you on this, which I agree with, is that you need to work on trusting and following your heart, even if it seems difficult or unnatural for you. Strong words for an Fi polr I know, but your heart has a way of balancing out pluses and minuses too, in a way which your brain can't, and it's actually the more beneficial thing to follow when it comes to choosing your relationships with people (...especially in your case, since you hardly ever practice doing it). I don't think she meant to make you think you did a bad job before, as you were doing the best you could then. I have to go through a similar process when it comes to trusting my intuition and "letting go" on control of "physical reality", to access unconscious knowledge and strength. It requires you to let go and entertain some risk, but obviously growth is uncomfortable. It shouldn't be this mindblowing thing that some people make decisions primarily based on how they feel. When it comes to people, they're generally the ones doing it right, and you should also learn to access that part of yourself a bit more.

There are feelings but also the organic nature of relationships. Seems kinda illusory to treat ppl or interpersonal relations as if transaction because ppl are ppl, they breathe, get old, dream, have feelings, have physical and psychological needs, etc. They are organic living entities with an independent mind and unique life path. If each one is more conscious and concerned about what they have to offer and give to this potential SO more than what they can take and how worthy or not is this other person, there would be more chance to successfully relating and less frustration.