Quote Originally Posted by Ragdoll Lynx View Post
@Adam Strange
I don't know if you ppl think like this because its part of your culture or because its part of your type/quadra values or doesn't have anything to do with any of that, but it seems to me like you think in relationships and marriage as if you were doing a business or acquiring a product.
@Ragdoll Lynx, I'm sure you will agree that all close relationships are between equals, or between people who trade things of equal value. I'll bet that you've never dated a homeless guy, or a criminal just out of jail, even though there are probably a few available male IEE's living on the edge of society who would like to meet you and your savings account.

Why have you not done this? Because the "numbers" that denominate his good and bad characteristics sum up to a much lower number than the sum of your "numbers". Is he tall? Ten points. Handsome? Twelve points. Wanted for armed robbery? Minus twenty points. Plays loud music late at night while entertaining his screaming drug customers? Minus thirty points. PhD? Plus eight points. And so on.

Quote Originally Posted by Ragdoll Lynx View Post
Like if such way of viewing relationships assure you a "good purchase" or something like that, and in the moment your "product" doesn't work as you expected you just throw it out. I don't think that seeing relationships or ppl as products, goods or things is going to improve your experience in that area or reduce problems, I tend to think that its just going to increase them.
Actually, when I first asked the SLI out, I thought she was a secretary. She said she worked for the University, and she looked so decorative that I assumed she was some professor's secretary. After a few dates, I found out that she was a Senior Systems Analyst in charge of a team of programmers and was making as much as I was. At that point, I told her that we were paying equally on our dates.

As for abandoning her when she didn't "work" as expected, when she got breast cancer and the University fired her for costing too much, I supported her without a doubt or a question until she got better and didn't need me any more. And when she moved out, I stayed faithful for years, trying to get her back. I never considered divorce as an option. Not for many years, until it finally became clear to me that she was happier living away from me.

I hope you are never in the position where your husband moves out and doesn't tell you if he is coming back, but if you are, consider how long you will wait for him. One year? Two? Five? Ten? Twenty? Remember, you can't see other men during this time, because you are married. Nor can you take money from him, because your bank accounts are separate. But now he is out there, running up debts that you are legally responsible for, because you are married. He can do whatever he wants, and you get to live by yourself, on whatever you can earn, and you sometimes get these bills in the mail for things you didn't buy.

No, I don't exactly abandon the people I commit to just because they hit some bumps on the road. But when a person wants to leave, I won't stand in their way.