I don't get dual relationships (duality)

[SongOfSapphire]

Excerpt from here: http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/392-Video-lectures-by-Victor-Gulenko-School-of-Humanitarian-Socionics

SHS - Relations Between Duals are Dialectic

V.G. If duals have united into one pair, tell us, is this a consonant or a dissonant union?
Audience: Dissonant from which point of view?
V.G. From point of view of relations between them. Is it easy for them to merge into one? Is such synthesis easy?
Audience: It's not easy for them to come together, but after it's difficult to separate them ... [inaudible conversation].
V.G. This is right. This means that the nature of dual relations is an antithetic synthesis i.e. synthesis of the opposites that struggle with one another but then unite: this is called unity and conflict of the opposites. This is the formula of what kind of thinking?
Audience: Dialectic thinking.
V.G. This is it, relations between duals are dialectic, they both love and hate each other. This is unavoidable. Dual relations are synthesis of the opposites. This struggle is unavoidable.
Is there any way to get rid of these painful contradictions between duals, in principle?
Audience: Um, may be, perhaps, likely not ...
V.G. In principle it's impossible. It's possible to smooth them out, by correct distribution of roles in dual pair for example, but it's impossible to remove them. This, precisely, is life; these contradictions give dual relations a special tint, without it they would have been boring. Periodically contradictions arise, they get resolved, come up, get resolved, come up, get resolved again - this is dialectical contradictory synthesis. Considering that this is the union and the struggle of the opposites, duals often come together over conflict. At first, they fight one another, raise scandals, sort out relations, then suddenly they feel a pull towards each other. This is how it happens, such is nature.

This is excellent. Very accurate, imo. You can love adore and respect each other, but I don't think either dual really understands the other deep, deep down...and that helps keep it interesting.

I think dual relationships, if both people are healthy and invested in having a successful relationship, are great not only for enjoyment, but for honing communication skills, effective argument skills (note: I mean fair arguing to seek out truth, not fighting), and respect for oneself as well as the other person.

The differences bt the two contribute a lot to the respect factor: your dual can effortlessly do things and think in ways you struggle with or miss entirely, and in the course of interacting and especially when arguing w them, you realize this even more, but you also realize that the same is true from their perspective -- there is a lot of mutual respect (admiration, even), and that is a big factor in dual relations that I don't recall reading or hearing much about.

[HotSauce]

Oh yeah - we don't fight. Ever. At least not real fights. Play fights are normal. He pretty much worships the ground I walk on (I also say this in the most respectful way possible, as he is very strong mentally and stoic and I totally respect his manhood and all that but he tends to worship me, at the end of the day) and I am perfectly OK with this arrangement