I don't get dual relationships (duality)

[uncivilized]

Another example IEIs and SLEs. they both value Se and Ti, Ni and Fe. SLE's Ni is weak, IEI's Se is weak. Now imagine a football player going to the quiet girl in the corner who just finishes her poem for the creative writing class when he suddenly starts to talk about how he scored zillion and one on the game and then talks about football rules and buddies from the team. What is the poor girl supposed to do, when she's interested in art and poetry and doesn't give a damn about his football game?

A SLE could be impressed by the writing ability and thoughts of an IEI, and an IEI impressed by the physical prowess/competitiveness of a SLE. All over the internet, you will find IEI type women wanting mates who are outgoing, tough, non-emotional, productive. You'll also find SLE type men being attracted to introverted, feeling types of women. Just as a personal example, I once knew a woman who was a very gifted artist. I have no interest in producing visual art or keeping up with that world, but I was interested in the art she would create. I think in the same way, an IEI might not be interested in SLE type pursuits generally, but they might make an exception for a particular SLE. Even if a SLE isn't interested in poetry, the SLE might find it attractive somehow seeing their IEI love-interest reading such words with feeling, or just observing that such feeling and/or talent exists in their significant other.

How can for example an ILI ever meet an SEE. SEEs are stereotypically the adventurous, party loving extroverts. ILIs are analytical, deep and intelligent beings who enjoy their alone time to think and to recharge. I just don't see how this is supposed to work.

Meeting a romantic partner that is a dual might be difficult, but there is something refreshing and invigorating about being drawn into the sphere of your dual, and how they allow you to draw them into yours. They validate each other naturally if they're psychologically healthy and other variables are in alignment.

[Olimpia]

(...) IEI impressed by the physical prowess/competitiveness of a SLE.

Yes!

When I was younger, I'd always crush on the guys who were the best in PE class.

[lemontrees]

Yes!

When I was younger, I'd always crush on the guys who were the best in PE class.

lmao, i'd always crush on guys who were intellectually killing it. one of those guys *was* an SLE though, he was sort of hermetic (sp/sx) and read about everything and when i didn't know something would explain it to me as if *anyone* would know ... luved it, haha

[Olimpia]

lmao, i'd always crush on guys who were intellectually killing it. one of those guys *was* an SLE though, he was sort of hermetic (sp/sx) and read about everything and when i didn't know something would explain it to me as if *anyone* would know ... luved it, haha

Sp/Sx SLEs, do they even exist?
It sounds more like that intellectual hermetic sp/sx guy was rather SLI-Te.

(Te = "what everyone (should) know(s)")

P.S: And yeah, I was never really attracted to guys "killing it intellectually" per se, haha.
Though I'd like them to be somewhat witty, of course...

[Beautiful sky]

Yes!

When I was younger, I'd always crush on the guys who were the best in PE class.

I wish that you will find a very nice SLE

He will be commander general of such and such and willl know how to cook.

[Beautiful sky]

Yes!

When I was younger, I'd always crush on the guys who were the best in PE class.

lol
How about the possibility of meeting an LSE instead because they tend to become the best at something that they pick up. How do you recognize them from SLE

[Olimpia]

lol
How about the possibility of meeting an LSE instead because they tend to become the best at something that they pick up. How do you recognize them from SLE

From afar they may look the same, but at a closer distance and with enough "soul probing", you can see whether they are Se or Te lead - the difference is pretty clear to me.
Besides that, EP temperament is much more flexible and likes "going with the flow" and adapting to the situation opposed to EJ.

At the end of the day, the Quadra values will come forward...
LSE can put on an Fe (Role) facade, but they don't truly value it. Most of the time, they don't care for having boisterous laughter in an interaction. They don't mind it as much as an Fe PoLR would, but they are not really attached to it. Whereas an SLE (esp. Se subtype) will try to "force" to have an Fe-inclusive interaction in certain ways. (The Ti subtype less likely so, but they will look out for interactions that have the "Fe factor", whereas LSE is totally fine without it.)

Most importantly, an LSE will belittle someone's Ni or find it insubstantial, too fickle. Whereas an Ni-seeking type like SLE will welcome insight in the future and gain inspiration/motivation from Ni.

At last, the Aggressor Romance style is remarkably different from the Caretaker one. Aggressors are much more stimulated by "chasing" someone and winning their admiration, whereas an LSE Caretaker will like to find someone they can teach and take care of in certain ways.

[darya]

From afar they may look the same, but at a closer distance and with enough "soul probing", you can see whether they are Se or Te lead - the difference is pretty clear to me.
Besides that, EP temperament is much more flexible and likes "going with the flow" and adapting to the situation opposed to EJ.

At the end of the day, the Quadra values will come forward...
LSE can put on an Fe (Role) facade, but they don't truly value it. Most of the time, they don't care for having boisterous laughter in an interaction. They don't mind it as much as an Fe PoLR would, but they are not really attached to it. Whereas an SLE (esp. Se subtype) will try to "force" to have an Fe-inclusive interaction in certain ways. (The Ti subtype less likely so, but they will look out for interactions that have the "Fe factor", whereas LSE is totally fine without it.)

Most importantly, an LSE will belittle someone's Ni or find it insubstantial, too fickle. Whereas an Ni-seeking type like SLE will welcome insight in the future and gain inspiration/motivation from Ni.

At last, the Aggressor Romance style is remarkably different from the Caretaker one. Aggressors are much more stimulated by "chasing" someone and winning their admiration, whereas an LSE Caretaker will like to find someone they can teach and take care of in certain ways.

I swear I'm not picking on you, Sis (you probably hate me by now ), I just wanted to point out that while I agree with romancing styles in general, especially at the beginning of the relationships, these roles can later become muddy. My dad is LSI for example, Se subtype, and he can be remarkably patronizing and "teachery" with my EIE mom and me. Teaches us the correct way to clean or do things for example or is smartassy about the ways of life. He's also very worried and protective of us (e6). I've noticed that in several other LSI's (imo all SJ's are like that to an extent) and E-types.It's not always related to Si ego.

[Olimpia]

I swear I'm not picking on you, Sis (you probably hate me by now ), I just wanted to point out that while I agree with romancing styles in general, especially at the beginning of the relationships, these roles can later become muddy. My dad is LSI for example, Se subtype, and he can be remarkably patronizing and "teachery" with my EIE mom and me. Teaches us the correct way to clean or do things for example or is smartassy about the ways of life. He's also very worried and protective of us (e6). I've noticed that in several other LSI's (imo all SJ's are like that to an extent) and E-types.It's not always related to Si ego.

I actually don't hate you at all, haha.

Sure, many males can fall into this patronizing role from time to time. This depends a lot on the interaction between the people... As in, being frustrated and feeling superior intellectually makes most people fall into the role of the "know-it-all" teacher, though this is mostly the case for 4D Te types.

But yes, not only ST Caretakers want to teach. I just tried to point out the overall vibes of the two different Romance styles. I feel like the Demonstrative function may skew the expression of the romance style from time to time. For instance, LSI has got 4D Si, so they may exhibit occasional bouts of "Caretaker" behavior; same for LSEs and their 4D Se sometimes resulting in a playful aggressiveness.

There can be several layers to Romance style expression. Categorizing them into Victim/Aggressor and Childlike/Caretaker is a way to capture the main theme of each style.

[hatesyardwork]

Meeting a romantic partner that is a dual might be difficult, but there is something refreshing and invigorating about being drawn into the sphere of your dual, and how they allow you to draw them into yours. They validate each other naturally if they're psychologically healthy and other variables are in alignment.

Yep