Well, I can give you another story of a conflict relationship between an ILE (my husband) and an ESI (our friend). They've known each other almost as long as we've been married, our elder kids are of the same age, etc. So this is a long standing relationship but it had its ups and downs. When they first met they were quite attracted to each other (typical, ah?). ESI saw that ILE was kind, caring, attentive, but also inventive and basically fun. And ESI was seen as, well, just a very good person (kind, considerate, skilled in Si things, hospitable, very good with children - that part particularly impressed ILE). So they've made firends and saw each other quite often but then trouble gradually began. ESI didn't have a job she deserved, so we, two intuitive feeling people, told her that she deserves so much better, she's actually very good and should get a better pay, etc. We thought to inspire and never knew that we only kindled her insecurity with all that talk. And this happened time after time. She would visit and tell us about her problems (mostly money-related, obviously seeking Te advice) and we would start: "Helen, you're so good at this, you underestimate yourself, be a little bolder, let's start looking for a new job, let's write a CV and post it now..." Well, we didn't know much of socionics then
I don't know how the poor girl persevered with us, and we did quarrel a little bit and once we quarreled a lot over kids (the proper way to bring up kids), but we are still friends. ILE tries to bite his tongue whenever he's inspired to "show her the bright possibilities", ESI stopped telling him that suits really suit him (he hates suits!) and that he should dress as a bank clerk, we've basically come to terms
All it takes is a lot of good will on both sides and a lot of time.
Originally Posted by sergeyeva
Well, I can give you another story of a conflict relationship between an ILE (my husband) and an ESI (our friend). They've known each other almost as long as we've been married, our elder kids are of the same age, etc. So this is a long standing relationship but it had its ups and downs. When they first met they were quite attracted to each other (typical, ah?). ESI saw that ILE was kind, caring, attentive, but also inventive and basically fun. And ESI was seen as, well, just a very good person (kind, considerate, skilled in Si things, hospitable, very good with children - that part particularly impressed ILE). So they've made firends and saw each other quite often but then trouble gradually began. ESI didn't have a job she deserved, so we, two intuitive feeling people, told her that she deserves so much better, she's actually very good and should get a better pay, etc. We thought to inspire and never knew that we only kindled her insecurity with all that talk. And this happened time after time. She would visit and tell us about her problems (mostly money-related, obviously seeking Te advice) and we would start: "Helen, you're so good at this, you underestimate yourself, be a little bolder, let's start looking for a new job, let's write a CV and post it now..." Well, we didn't know much of socionics then
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(as per tcaudilllg)
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