i too have a thirst for chaos. it's difficult to find the innocent but still worth it chaos that isn't at someone else's expense. i went through a phase in 6th grade, where my friend and i would write comics starring my 6th grade teacher, and pass them back and forth in class. i felt somewhat ashamed of myself when he found out. the intent wasn't malicious, but you wouldn't know it from the content. i grew a better conscience in the next couple years and hoped this hadn't hurt him. he seemed really strong on the surface, but sometimes those people are the most sensitive and vulnerable beneath. i wouldn't be surprised if his life was kind of miserable for him.

it was consoling that later in the year my 6th grade teacher reported to my parents that my will had been hijacked by a certain "bad character" in the class. she had already flunked the 6th grade at least once (i can no longer remember) and was 2 years older than me. i went along with her out of curiosity, but my 6th grade teacher apparently thought none of it was really my fault - so maybe he wasn't hurt by the comics either not thinking it a true representation of my character (?). he regretfully told my parents how my performance in school had suffered because of my association with her. he never even mentioned the comics to my parents, surprisingly (i wrote those with a different friend - the "bad character" was too mature for such games).

i suppose that girl was manipulating me sometimes, but i let her do it. i just was too curious. perhaps i need to change my psychic yoga type to V in the 4th position.