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Last edited by Limitless; 03-19-2015 at 03:25 AM.
My mom is LSI and my biological dad is EIE. I kind of relate to what you are saying. I'm not sure what it is about my dad but he pushes for way more connection than I can give him. I often tell my mom I don't want to talk when he calls because he just overwhelms me with some kind of enthusiasm and joy over us speaking and I don't feel the same. My EII sister is way better with him. She tries to be open and talk to him even though he doesn't even speak English and knows very few words. It feels like too much work for me. I know I love him on some level but I did not grow up with him around. He lives in another country and he and my mom did not talk for like 20 years after they split. I feel like he is trying to make something up to me and he doesn't have to. His Fe can be too much for me because I want to hold him at a distance. Probably because of the way he left.
Hope everything works out and you have fun on your retreat. You are not a terrible son.
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
Also, thanks @Aylen. You're so great/encouraging!Hope everything works out and you have fun on your retreat. You are not a terrible son.
Last edited by Limitless; 02-14-2016 at 01:42 AM.
SEEs don't necessarily come off as gushy. I certainly don't (I used to think I could be Fe PoLR due to my flat moods and expressions when I can't be bothered to care) and the more expressive SEEs really don't come off as gushy (and if so, it's usually not for serious/has a tongue in cheek element). I'm like that but have no expectations that people match that or react to it. Also, our duals often want to be left alone and I don't see SEEs as likely to take that personally. We're usually pretty understanding of that sort of thing and defer to people's moods and internal emotional needs. I can totally understand needing space and alone time and would rather give someone that space than intrude. Fi tends to be more understanding and accommodating of that sort of thing.
Yeah, something about his eyes, expressions, and face gives me the EIE impression. I feel more rationality than irrationality, for one, and ethical is obvious. I get some Bowie vibes from him, except without the gayness. He also gives Ben Stiller vibes but idk what type he is. Some say ILE, but I don't really agree there. I would guess Beta rational for him.
A lot of EIEs I've known would be more likely to take the wanting to be alone thing more personally, I think. I had an EIE music teacher who I felt I had to always pretend to be happy to keep him happy and if I expressed my real emotions, it would do something bad for our relationship. I've never felt a need to do that with Fi creatives who, as I more or less said, seem more understanding of that sort of thing and less critical and controlling of people's emotions and emotional expressions.
Your dad is xstx something. ...please provide a valid side profile like this. .. http://imgur.com/yFh4jZF That's my love
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Can I please see images of their current MRIs? I don't think it is fair to type them on a few still images of their outside without seeing the inside of their brains too.
You are intuitive and I think that it will all just come to you in a huge insight once you have a good overview of the functions and how they manifest in different types. You're doing great! Just keep up what you are doing. Ask for insight but in the end rely on your own insights/intuition.
What I am saying is stay open so you don't inadvertently lock yourselves into a certain intertype relation that might be wrong. I think you are clever so you will have doubts about things, that feel off, and that will push you to dig deeper. <3
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
Your father is 100% ISTp because he does not perceive reality of people's conditions well hence ignoring Se and favoring Ne the idea tbat what makes him geel good and strong should be propegated or inforced on others despite their lack of good perceivable health. In any case I'm very happy that your parents get along well.
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Here are some descriptions of types offered for you dad. If you get a chance, read through them, see how they feel. The way you describe him comes off leaning toward some kind of ethical and intuitive type, to me.
http://www.wikisocion.org/en/index.php?title=SLI
http://www.wikisocion.org/en/index.php?title=SLE
http://www.wikisocion.org/en/index.php?title=EIE
Edit: I didn't see SF's post so here are the types she offered.
http://www.wikisocion.org/en/index.php?title=IEE
http://www.wikisocion.org/en/index.php?title=ESE
Connecting through symbolism actually sounds like something you could cultivate and instead of disagreeing or agreeing with him you could just try to understand that you see things from different perspectives and symbolism can be a very personal thing. Then you can tell him how you see it without stressing. If you genuinely appreciate his point of view let him know. It really does makes things less stressful and you won't have to hold back your translation of symbolism and meaning.
Edit2: You seem to have landed in the perfect family for your particular needs. Your parents sound like wonderful people.Also, when we go to a movie or a play or something together, we like talking about symbolism, overall themes, motifs, etc. That’s one thing that’s really fun for both of us a nd it’s generally the kind of thing we like to talk about when we’re together.We usually have different views of whatever we’re talking about, so that’s stressful, but I just avoid that and agree with him when he tells me he interprets it a particular way.
Last edited by Aylen; 03-04-2015 at 02:25 AM.
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
He's trying hard to be a good dad. Sappiness is corny but it's better than what a lot of dads do and not be there for their kids at all.
I don't see why you couldn't just cut him some slack while at the same time just tell him out right that you can't force special heartwarming moments. They gotta come naturally.
My dad was really sweet and empathetic too. Like I said to everybody before, he was like an older @zap. He was INTj Se polr, Fe dual seeking male and he liked when I just was all nice and warm.
We could still be assholes to each other. I was probably the bigger asshole. I trolled/mocked him sometimes because he was so damn sensitive and I feel guilty about that because now, he's not in my life anymore. He's dead of cancer.
Honestly, this problem is kind of petty- a lot of people don't like the Nickelodeon sappiness of their parents. But did you know that most parents just want their kids to be kind. They want them to be successful too, but the kindness is more important. Being worldly and hardened is overrated. Have a heart. Be sappy occasionally. Meet halfway. Be a little sappy if he bes a little more realistic.
Also give up the idea of Hell. It's stupid. I don't care if you are a naturally cruel person, the idea that you will be punished naturally for that for all of eternity is silly. It's more harsh than being a bad person yourself so get over that. When we're dead, we're dead. I think either we all go to heaven no matter what or we just die and that's it, or we go back into another body and start life all over again. (Honestly this is my favorite) But there is no hell. Only if we create it.
lol its okay. <3
@LimitlessBasically, what I've realized is although I should always try to be honest it's gonna have a bad impact on other people if I'm not careful, so I'll try not to make silly posts like this anymore.
Your thread is not silly. Your threads are thought provoking. You don't have to take those comments to heart and let them limit how you express yourself. That is just someone else's subjective opinion.
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
eh don't be. I didn't mean to be like 'well some people don't even have a dad anymore you asshole!' that wasn't really my intention. You didn't offend me. It's just like yeah, cherish your dad and try to forgive all the petty shit cause you may not know how much time u have w/him.I felt so terrible realizing how you must have felt after reading through all this.
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
He's caring but authoritarian, his way and his rules, wants closeness of bond/relationship. He is LSE and final
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
His dad must have discovered he was playing and fishing and grumbling online. He didn't wanna tell me open-heartedly why he deleted all his pics and removed his smirky avi.
So Ej for Dad. ES_j closer to heaven.
(m'didn't read the entire thread.)