Empathy Fi or Fe?

[Beautiful sky]

Here is a quote from Psycology today.


Because we can't get into each other's minds, it is hard to know the level of empathy that a person is able to experience. But outward behavior and words usually reflect the heart - hence the prosocial behavior in the quote above. Some might call the behavior and words Fe. In my experience, my EII friends have pretty good Fe (prosocial or helping behaviors) even in situations where their kindness is not being reciprocated. They usually try to see both sides of situations which you would expect of an Ne valuing person.

I myself have not experienced that kind of prosocial behavior from @Maritsa. Even though a forum isn't always the best place for perfect understanding, it is pretty hard not to misunderstand when someone calls your ideas "outlandish," as she called mine in a recent thread. And it is pretty hard not to feel hurt when you are an EIE and your logic is being called into question in that way. So I am having a little trouble seeing the empathy in that situation.

Usually when I don't like someone I stay away from them as I have tried with you even though you're insisting pushy and evasive. My language and reaching out to help has been extended to many people here throughout many years.

[wacey]

Ugh. Misconception these days that Fi/Fe is a dichotomy describing purely the inner and outer ethics. As in Fi is purely the subjective and Fe is purely the emotional collective. Its such horse-shit MBTI garbage and I'm sick and tired of seeing this.

Fi/Fe are two separate, discreet facets of reality and the information filtered by them are also different.

Neither ethic type is more empathic then the other.

What IS different is how the ethical acts on the empathy. And even then I have my doubts.

[Iris]

Usually when I don't like someone I stay away from them as I have tried with you even though you're insisting pushy and evasive. My language and reaching out to help has been extended to many people here throughout many years.

Perhaps you could give some examples of how my insisting, pushy behavior has offended you.

I think it is interesting that because you view me as your intellectual inferior, you feel it is ok to call me an idiot. Perhaps my inferiority makes me unworthy of the empathy that you extend to others.

[Aylen]

My psychic friend accused me of being an Empath. She said I'm observant like a wolf *howls* I'm just not into theatrics or dramatic displays of emotion. It's just too damn unmanly*places stein down on table* Whether its Fi or Fe, it's draining to be around negative emotions. I like atmospheric pleasantness. I try and avoid people who always seem to be in a bad mood. Some I try and cheer up a little, but even some of those get more agitated for you trying, so I've learned to just keep an emotional distance from most people. I'll just tell them to let me know if they need anything.

I have been thinking more on what you say here and we are really not that different. I think we are just using different words to explain something similar. I call it my invisible shield and I imagine a bubble around me, if things are too intense, but really it is just emotional distancing. Thanks for the insight.

[wacey]

No one likes to be called out on their flaws, but really I doubt it's going to change anything at this point, guys. Those kinds of changes only come about with huge revelations and even those are rare.

People are just going to get defensive because their back is against the wall. A because they are defensive nothing will get through anyway (unless there is this foundation of intensive self-awareness).

[Beautiful sky]

Perhaps you could give some examples of how my insisting, pushy behavior has offended you.

I think it is interesting that because you view me as your intellectual inferior, you feel it is ok to call me an idiot. Perhaps my inferiority makes me unworthy of the empathy that you extend to others.

I called you an idiot because one you take guesses that don't coincide with anything that I'm thinking of such as you assuming that i view you as my inferior and that is why I call you an idiot. You may be judging by how others judge you by some hierarchy which I do not. I judge you based on your comprehention of what I'm writing and two that you often don't show that you comprehend when I say or others say that I'm EII and why.

[Iris]

I called you an idiot because one you take guesses that don't coincide with anything that I'm thinking of such as you assuming that i view you as my inferior and that is why I call you an idiot. You may be judging by how others judge you by some hierarchy which I do not. I judge you based on your comprehention of what I'm writing and two that you often don't show that you comprehend when I say or others say that I'm EII and why.

I am curious to know what you hoped to accomplish by calling me an idiot.

[Beautiful sky]

I am curious to know what you hoped to accomplish by calling me an idiot.

I was pused and angered far enough for a reaction. It wasn't to get you to do anything or accomplish something.

[Satan]

too many questions

[Aylen]

too many questions

I knew you would say that. I must be psychic.

[strangeling]

Man, some of you make this seem so much more complicated than it is.

Introversion as ontologically defined by Jung deals with the subjective world, how we each come to experience reality. Extroversion is the focus on the outer world. Practically speaking, Fe sees and influences observable emotional cues; Fi looks deeper, to motivations and what's going on behind the external emotions and uses that in their decision making. But someone that is a feeling type is going to have both Fi and Fe, so Fe and Fi types are going to share both of these aspects, yet each value one over the other. So yes, they are both empathy.

really, that's it,

[Words]

Man, some of you make this seem so much more complicated than it is.

Introversion as ontologically defined by Jung deals with the subjective world, how we each come to experience reality. Extroversion is the focus on the outer world. Practically speaking, Fe sees and influences observable emotional cues; Fi looks deeper, to motivations and what's going on behind the external emotions and uses that in their decision making. But someone that is a feeling type is going to have both Fi and Fe, so Fe and Fi types are going to share both of these aspects, yet each value one over the other. So yes, they are both empathy.

really, that's it,

That's not really what Jung meant imo.

If introversion deals with the subjective internal world as you put it, why would it deal with your world, that's external.

Maybe some of the responses here seem complex to you because your solution isn't right.

[Simon Ssmall]

Your Empathy Quotient score was 53 out of a possible 80. I lack the Autism apparently.

[Ver]

. But someone that is a feeling type is going to have both Fi and Fe, so Fe and Fi types are going to share both of these aspects, yet each value one over the other. So yes, they are both empathy.

really, that's it,

That's exactly what I've been thinking. Both Fi and Fe valuers are empathetic just show it in a different way. INTj appreciates different "empathy showing" than ESTj. ESFj shows their sadness loud, INFj quietly. Sometimes what one does seems artificial or indifferent to another.

[squark]

Your Empathy Quotient score was 14 out of a possible 80.

No. The test is wrong. I have empathy. It asks too many questions about social savvy and being able to read people's minds. That is all.

[Aylen]

Also I think it is not necessarily a correlation coefficient being judged between Fi and Fe. It just manifests itself in different ways. For example, I would say Fi has more to do with empathy based on individuals as opposed to group empathy and Fe would be the opposite. or Asis la vida.

Could you maybe explain what you mean by group empathy? I read it a couple of different ways. I can empathize with groups of people but it is usually the individuals whose stories touch me that I have the most empathy for. It is easier to be less empathetic to groups because the group may not have a "face". It just depends on how well I can connect to their pain or sorrow. It is far easier to do one on one because then you are not as overwhelmed by the feelings of everyone all at once. Feeling everyone else's emotions all at once is a whole different kind of experience for me. It's not empathizing by putting myself in another's shoes. It is more like a mood shower and I'm trying to not to get wet. Unless it is a pleasant shower.

I mean I cried for 5 minutes during the last episode of Vampire Diaries 'cause I felt empathy for the characters as individuals. The storyline in that episode reminded me of what it felt like to lose what you love most. I wasn't even feeling sad for me. I felt sad for characters and I obviously knew it wasn't real. Sort of embarrassed to admit that.

One other thing. Those who can empathize with me best, know not to point out that I am crying over the Vampire Diaries. They just stay quiet since they know I am already embarrassed about it. Sometimes there is that one person in the room that looks over and calls attention to it and makes fun of me and I feel self conscious and weak. :/ I have an ESE sister who wants to be comforted when she is crying during movies so I will take her hand and hold it but I won't make a big deal out of it because I wouldn't want that done to me.

[QuickTwist]

Could you maybe explain what you mean by group empathy? I read it a couple of different ways. I can empathize with groups of people but it is usually the individuals whose stories touch me that I have the most empathy for. It is easier to be less empathetic to groups because the group may not have a "face". It just depends on how well I can connect to their pain or sorrow. It is far easier to do one on one because then you are not as overwhelmed by the feelings of everyone all at once. Feeling everyone else's emotions all at once is a whole different kind of experience for me. It's not empathizing by putting myself in another's shoes. It is more like a mood shower and I'm trying to not to get wet. Unless it is a pleasant shower.

I mean I cried for 5 minutes during the last episode of Vampire Diaries 'cause I felt empathy for the characters as individuals. The storyline in that episode reminded me of what it felt like to lose what you love most. I wasn't even feeling sad for me. I felt sad for characters and I obviously knew it wasn't real. Sort of embarrassed to admit that.

I think I pretty much just said it in a terrible way. Basically, compromising yourself for others benefit and being a martyr of sorts as Fe and being selfish and being a Pre-Madonna being Fi. But to say that An Fi user can't accommodate others or that Fe users can't see personal meaning in something is just plain silly. But to clarify, both can be just as empathetic as the other and it isn't necessarily having to do with I or E but rather that you just end up with the I version or E version.

My God I sound so basic... Just pretend I didn't say anything, K?

[Aylen]

I think I pretty much just said it in a terrible way. Basically, compromising yourself for others benefit and being a martyr of sorts as Fe and being selfish and being a Pre-Madonna being Fi. But to say that An Fi user can't accommodate others or that Fe users can't see personal meaning in something is just plain silly. But to clarify, both can be just as empathetic as the other and it isn't necessarily having to do with I or E but rather that you just end up with the I version or E version.

My God I sound so basic... Just pretend I didn't say anything, K?

We'll pretend like this never happened.

I was going to add that I really do not like to be babied when upset, just understood, and it is always cool when someone just "knows" what you need in that moment, even if it is leaving you alone until you are ready to talk about it or let it go like it never happened.

[QuickTwist]

We'll pretend like this never happened.

I was going to add that I really do not like to be babied when upset, just understood, and it is always cool when someone just "knows" what you need in that moment, even if it is leaving you alone until you are ready to talk about it or let it go like it never happened.

After rereading the OP, and to answer the question more directly, Fe tend to have more empathy (here's looking at you Fe, Ni and Ni, Fe).

[phizzog]

I think the idea of a multiple choice survey measuring one’s capacity for empathy is kind of silly (there are people who love giving themselves more credit than they deserve and people who always sell themselves short). I feel like I am as empathetic as I am not. It’s not something in me that lives an unfettered existence but comes and goes. A lot depends on my internal circumstances: how open I am and how I feel about myself, what I can dream up and whether or not I feel lost or trapped. I can be really careless about other people’s feelings; sometimes I know it in the moment and others I look back and think “oh god, I did that?” Something as simple as being silent when someone could’ve used a word or saying something at all when silence would’ve been better. But god knows, it’s been much worse than that. But I can be really thoughtful too and surprised by how well people respond to the smallest gesture or someone telling me they were thankful I knew what they felt even when they tried to hide it. Everyone is different and what you think you want and need from people absolutely changes depending on who is or isn’t in the room with you. There are limits to what a single person has to offer but also innumerable ways empathy can be expressed, as many and more as moments in which people exist. I don’t think one’s capacity for empathy is heightened by having ethics in the ego block, neither is it lessened by logic. People care or they don’t, and it’s tenuous and circumstantial. Who knows what someone might regret tomorrow?

[Words]

The test is a bit harsh but - it is (to me) asking questions about how others respond to you, so it is an objective method of measuring rather than just asking a person what they imagine will happen.

[Suz]

I think the idea of a multiple choice survey measuring one’s capacity for empathy is kind of silly (there are people who love giving themselves more credit than they deserve and people who always sell themselves short). I feel like I am as empathetic as I am not. It’s not something in me that lives an unfettered existence but comes and goes. A lot depends on my internal circumstances: how open I am and how I feel about myself, what I can dream up and whether or not I feel lost or trapped. I can be really careless about other people’s feelings; sometimes I know it in the moment and others I look back and think “oh god, I did that?” Something as simple as being silent when someone could’ve used a word or saying something at all when silence would’ve been better. But god knows, it’s been much worse than that. But I can be really thoughtful too and surprised by how well people respond to the smallest gesture or someone telling me they were thankful I knew what they felt even when they tried to hide it. Everyone is different and what you think you want and need from people absolutely changes depending on who is or isn’t in the room with you. There are limits to what a single person has to offer but also innumerable ways empathy can be expressed, as many and more as moments in which people exist. I don’t think one’s capacity for empathy is heightened by having ethics in the ego block, neither is it lessened by logic. People care or they don’t, and it’s tenuous and circumstantial. Who knows what someone might regret tomorrow?

This is exactly what was going through my mind as well, thanks for putting it so beautifully.

[Aylen]

Edit:

*Moved to blog*


which I have set to private temporarily.

[Beautiful sky]

I think the idea of a multiple choice survey measuring one’s capacity for empathy is kind of silly (there are people who love giving themselves more credit than they deserve and people who always sell themselves short). I feel like I am as empathetic as I am not. It’s not something in me that lives an unfettered existence but comes and goes. A lot depends on my internal circumstances: how open I am and how I feel about myself, what I can dream up and whether or not I feel lost or trapped. I can be really careless about other people’s feelings; sometimes I know it in the moment and others I look back and think “oh god, I did that?” Something as simple as being silent when someone could’ve used a word or saying something at all when silence would’ve been better. But god knows, it’s been much worse than that. But I can be really thoughtful too and surprised by how well people respond to the smallest gesture or someone telling me they were thankful I knew what they felt even when they tried to hide it. Everyone is different and what you think you want and need from people absolutely changes depending on who is or isn’t in the room with you. There are limits to what a single person has to offer but also innumerable ways empathy can be expressed, as many and more as moments in which people exist. I don’t think one’s capacity for empathy is heightened by having ethics in the ego block, neither is it lessened by logic. People care or they don’t, and it’s tenuous and circumstantial. Who knows what someone might regret tomorrow?

I know that in my case a lot of people think I'm not empathetic becauae I can be reactive and prickly however my emotions are more affected by those closest to me. I also don't understand how one can call you less empathetic when they want forgiveness for having used you purposefully. That to me is malicious. I think the true judge of empathy should not fall on people like that but then I've maybe met a hand full of people who I judge as qualified evaluators

[Iris]

I called you an idiot because one you take guesses that don't coincide with anything that I'm thinking of such as you assuming that i view you as my inferior and that is why I call you an idiot. You may be judging by how others judge you by some hierarchy which I do not. I judge you based on your comprehention of what I'm writing and two that you often don't show that you comprehend when I say or others say that I'm EII and why.

Name calling is bullying behavior.

http://www.evancarmichael.com/Work-L...Workplace.html

... yelling or name calling, snide comments, publicly picking on mistakes and belittling the opinions of others...these are all intentionally aggressive acts aimed at controlling another person or diminishing their social value. These acts expose the perpetuator as a person with a low empathy ethic because they are unable to recognize how their aggressiveness impacts others.

Before now, I have not responded to the little jabs and insults that you have aimed at me and others on this forum because I frankly did not want to face the emotional outbursts that I have seen you direct at others. But I could not be silent on the subject of your empathy, when I have experienced otherwise from you, with no provocation.

I apologize for the delayed response. I have been out of town and have trouble posting from my phone. Since you have called me evasive, I wanted you to know that no disrespect was intended. I also apologize for upsetting you with this subject.

[Aylen]

Apparently the derail age thread was closed but just wanted to respond to Maritsa.

Originally Posted by Aylen
Of the two arguments the first one is the one that would reflect my beliefs. As for the second argument, I actively seek out people different than me to test myself in all kinds of ways, so I am not against those who come from an argument two perspective. I do poke people a bit but I am not being malicious. I just want to see what they're made of underneath the public persona. I want to see what is "real" even if it isn't politically correct. It's my way of confirming my own intuition of people and situations. I can imagine this or that about someone but until I find a way to expose it, there are still doubts of my ability to read people. I guess I just need some validation of what I feel but not from the other person. It all comes from within. I feel a lot of empathy for @Kim and not just for her views in this thread. I also feel empathy for others in this thread . I have things that bother me.

Edit: as for my little outburst... I am very protective of people I love.

Maritsa responds:
To figure someone like me out by pushing to define boundaries and making me upset in the process is malicious to me and how is that not an action that progrwsses from a stereotypical view of how people should be gotten to know?

Not everything is about you Maritsa. My statement was general. I was not trying to figure you out because you are pretty much "what you see is what you get". That's fine.

Edit: I got what I wanted from this thread.

[Olly From Wally World]

Ugh. Misconception these days that Fi/Fe is a dichotomy describing purely the inner and outer ethics. As in Fi is purely the subjective and Fe is purely the emotional collective. Its such horse-shit MBTI garbage and I'm sick and tired of seeing this.

Fi/Fe are two separate, discreet facets of reality and the information filtered by them are also different.

Neither ethic type is more empathic then the other.

What IS different is how the ethical acts on the empathy. And even then I have my doubts.

That also sounds pretty Jungian, how do you differentiate the two?

[anndelise]

I was thinking about this. I think, personally, for me, I might be confusing Holographic-Panoramic thinking (or Ne) for empathy. I wonder if that is possible...of course that would put a hole in my self-typing, if it is HP, but I'm not that attached to it anyhow, as I'm the same no matter what type I am, anyway...but I wonder if the two can be confused, like if it's similar to the other, but HP is more detached. If I've properly grasped what HP is. I honestly feel kind of detached when I use empathy. Like it's just to gain perspective or something. Like placing myself in another's shoes, and then hoping into another, and then another, in the same situation to gain perspective, while trying to remain emotionally detached...the more I know them, the easier it is, since I am more familiar with how they think or react. Any holes are filled probably primarily by projection or imagination.

I agree.

I recall a few years ago I described my form of empathy as looking at something from the other person's shoes, through their values not mine, through what i knew of their experiences rather than my own. Basically temporarily setting aside my own values/experiences and trying to see their situation/event from their perspective.

At the time I had attributed it to Ne's abstractness letting me detach from my own perspective, combined with what I know of their own attractions/repulsions (Fi), allowed me to step into their shoes. Both being internal elements means finding the meaning or implications of the combination.

I've since learned that HP could have something to do with what I was describing, but I think each HP type would represent a different method. And as I think about what the others would be paying attention to, I still hesitate to call that empathy....however, since I also tend not to consider Se/Ti info, I obviously miss quite a lot of info about the person.

Which brings me around to since I focus on Ne/Fi/Si/Te info, i'm missing about half the info needed to fully understand the person's pov. Add in the dimensions, and that missing amount increases. Add in that i'm trying to grasp the pov of a differing type, and even more is missing.

So, while i think each type can see some aspects of the person, they inevitably must fill in (project) the rest from their own imagination/experiences/values.

[Park]

It is interesting to note that certain types of psychopaths (e.g. people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder) use the vocabulary of empathy to gain trust from others so that they can manipulate and control them. When in reality they are incapable of feeling anything.

The narcissist makes an effort to communicate his pain and shame in order to elicit the Narcissistic Supply he needs to restore and regulate his failing sense of self-worth. In doing so, the narcissist resorts to the human vocabulary of empathy. The narcissist will say anything to obtain Narcissistic Supply. It is a manipulative ploy -- not a confession of real emotions or an authentic description of internal dynamics.

[Words]

Your Empathy Quotient score was 29 out of a possible 80.Scores of 30 or less indicate a lack of empathy common in people with Autism or Asperger’s Syndrome.

This test is hilarious.

Again, as I've said before -- unless you've gone through like a traumatic episode or experienced tragedy or undue hardship, I'm not really going to care that much if like your boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with you. I'm more concerned about wider sociological and global issues. Many of these questions are garbage like, "Oh you must be empathetic because you don't hurt people's feelings." Puuuuuuhleeeeaaaasssse in certain circumstances cruelty is the most empathetic action and I would rather someone be an honest asshole than an overly nice passive aggressive snake.

This is what most AS say.

Hehe in fairness I can be like this myself lol

[Skepsis]

There's also a difference between empathy in the present and empathy in an abstract sense. I have less immediate empathy on the spot that may demand an immediate response, but much more on self reflection and the meaning of the occurrence over time. For instance, someone may be crying or highly emotional and I just want to get away from the strong emotion, but if I know that person has been hurting for quite sometime and it is not just a show to get attention or a "poor me" then I will actually visualize what their world looks like to them and I will then feel what that must be like. This is why movies or music will often have a strong affect on my emotions. It is because they are often representative of emotions over time and how they affect people, like that emotionally repressed father that finally chokes up when something tragic happens. It just confirms what you always suspected about them. It makes you wonder what their life must have been like growing up to force their emotions underground.

[Words]

Like what? A passive aggressive snake or an asshole? lol

AS is not realising these things, colloqially it's about your suggestions lol, do you get this or sth?

[noid]

Empathy is a term coined by emotionnal ppl for naming what is it to "try to be in another head" in an emotionnal way.
Actually everyone sometime try to "be in another head" in their way, probably thru their higher function.

Didn't log to this site since 1 year and got 0 notification, fuck you all you BS motherfucker

[chemical]

There are many facets to empathy. Part of empathy is simple comprehension, which can amount to almost anything. The part where you mirror someone's inner states sounds like it would be most doable by Ni+Fe.

Being an empathetic person in general is a human trait, like Suz said, and is not limited to any given type. Being empathetic involves some confluence of the various facets, and types bring something or the other to the table.

[The Reality Denialist]

I have been accused of having no empathy by second party. The ones I actually interact with usually don't usually experience my lack of empathy. I don't handle Fi well. I score average in EQ. It is just that I logically piece together same things and I use objective F. I just don't care about subjective F when it comes to myself and others. I pick it up via logic and their behavioral patterns. Sure I look deficient to strangers but if they I would invest to it something else than first impression and elaborated a bit their inner state... I'm not pushy, I don't treat people badly but you can count on me that I will correct their logic and give weird perspectives, everything else gets free pass unless you have betrayed other individuals. Then it is good bye. I try to improve everything. I'm very chill guy when other's emotions goes through the roof and let them calm down.

No I don't do the subjective experience/shoe fitting thing. I see very little value in it. I feel very sympathy from objective basis (objective F which is formed by observations,patterns and external F signs) but sympathy is not empathy.

[Amber]

Your Empathy Quotient score was 34 out of a possible 80.Scores above 30 are generally not indicitive of an Autism Spectrum disorder.Higher scores indicate greater levels of empathy.

wtf.

18. When I was a child, I enjoyed cutting up worms to see what would happen.

[purpleowl]

Your Empathy Quotient score was 68 out of a possible 80.

[mu4]

I view empathy as Fi

Sympathy is Fe

Fi can be an internal understanding, feeling which emotional understanding is achieved
Fe is often a external emoting, a show of emotional support which is expressed outwardly

This aligns with how Empathy and Sympathy is differentiated definition wise.

But the way it manifests is sometimes quite different, especially with individuals that have 4d Fi or 4d Fe

IXFX types have 4d Fi and they either conscious or unconscious emotional understanding which may or may not be right, however this understanding is strong and a powerful motivator which drives the creative function in different ways, either as ego first function or super-id 8th function.

EXFX types have 4d Fe and they can provide passionate support for various causes all the while only desiring/acquiring a limited emphatic understanding of the cause.

[Aylen]

I view empathy as Fi

Sympathy is Fe

Fi can be an internal understanding, feeling which emotional understanding is achieved
Fe is often a external emoting, a show of emotional support which is expressed outwardly

This aligns with how Empathy and Sympathy is differentiated definition wise.

But the way it manifests is sometimes quite different, especially with individuals that have 4d Fi or 4d Fe

IXFX types have 4d Fi and they either conscious or unconscious emotional understanding which may or may not be right, however this understanding is strong and a powerful motivator which drives the creative function in different ways, either as ego first function or super-id 8th function.

EXFX types have 4d Fe and they can provide passionate support for various causes all the while only desiring/acquiring a limited emphatic understanding of the cause.

I do not consider myself a sympathetic person because to me sympathy is pity and I think pitying someone is discounting them and their inner strength to deal with life's hardships. I am not one to commiserate but I can, rarely, if it is something I strongly relate to. That is usually nothing more than self-pity that allows me to commiserate and I do not want to feel that I am pathetic so I will not entertain those feelings for long.

Commiserating with someone does them no good other than a momentary feeling of validation that they have have been harmed, in some way, by circumstances out of their control. I think it is best when someone empathizes with me and does not reinforce my self-pity. If they offer me pity I will feel pathetic rather than understood. I do not like people being too harsh though when telling me I am being pathetic and stop it. I would rather they say nothing at all if they cannot do it in a way that does not make me angry with them.

I can relate to the term empathy, much better, regardless of the function it is processed through. Maybe those with a strong natural ability to empathize with others involves a more balanced use of both Fe and Fi. I dunno. I don't agree with the idea that everyone can naturally empathize from birth but the ability is there should they choose to work on it.

I know someone (logical type) who did not do it naturally but they taught themselves to by observing me, asking me questions, and then emulating me, until they discovered what it felt like to empathize for themselves. It was like a real life "Grinch" story. This person was an overachiever and at some point wanted to develop his EQ since his IQ was around genius level already.

I kind of believe empathy is a choice once you learn how to turn it off and on. Sometimes it is just too much for me to deal with. It is like in the Vampire Diaries when they turn off their humanity switch. hahah I turn off my empathy, when it is not needed, so I am not overwhelmed by other people.



I actually still care but not in a way that interferes with my ability to function. Like I don't want to walk into a store and be affected by other people's energy.

Edit: I still find myself in situations where I cannot easily turn it off but I am still working on that.

[mu4]

I do not consider myself a sympathetic person because to me sympathy is pity and I think pitying someone is discounting them and their inner strength to deal with life's hardships. I am not one to commiserate but I can, rarely, if it is something I strongly relate to. That is usually nothing more than self-pity that allows me to commiserate and I do not want to feel that I am pathetic so I will not entertain those feelings for long.

Commiserating with someone does them no good other than a momentary feeling of validation that they have have been harmed in some way by circumstance out of their control. I think it is best when someone empathizes with me and does not reinforce my self-pity. If they offer me pity I will feel pathetic rather than understood. I do not like people being too harsh though when telling me I am being pathetic and stop it. I would rather they say nothing at all if they cannot do it in a way that does not make me angry with them.

I can relate to the term empathy, much better, regardless of the function it is processed through. Maybe those with a strong natural ability to empathize with others involves a more balanced use of both Fe and Fi. I dunno. I don't agree with the idea that everyone can naturally empathize from birth but the ability is there should they choose to work on it.

I know someone (logical type) who did not do it naturally but they taught themselves to by observing me, asking me questions, and then emulating me, until they discovered what it felt like to empathize for themselves. It was like a real life "Grinch" story. This person was an overachiever and at some point wanted to develop his EQ since his IQ was around genius level already.

I kind of believe empathy is a choice once you learn how to turn it off and on. Sometimes it just too much for me to deal with. It is like in the Vampire Diaries when they turn off their humanity switch. hahah I turn off my empathy, when it is not needed, so I am not overwhelmed by other people.



I actually still care but not in a way that interferes with my ability to function. Like I don't want to walk into a store and be affected by other people's energy.

I don't think sympathy is necessarily is out of pity, support doesn't have to come out of just pity, it can also arise from need or a sort of collective coherence. Things like nationalism are both sympathetic and emphatic and neither is necessarily based on some sort of pity. However by offering support or aid there is a sense of volitional agency that can be achieved which although is not rooted in pity, is rooted in this sense of agency.

One can be concerned for the well being of individuals around them, but it doesn't have to be due to pity.