if you couldn't have your dual, which intertype would you choose?
Which relationship would you prefer if you couldn't, for whatever reason, have your dual?
With everything else being equal such as upbringing, age, gender, socioeconomic status etc etc which one have you found to be most appealing for a relationship?
Extinguishment, quasi-identity, identical and semi- dual
I didn't have romantic dual relationships . Those above were very fulfilling and I kind of wonder what I could have missed out. No but I have ESTJ ( also ENTJ ) good friends .
Easy. Semi-dual.
Activity. Can't help but feel like my semi-duals have a tendency to be assholes. And mirage is ultimately unfulfilling as great as the conversations are.
Activity > identity > Mirror
SLE... Had ambivalent impressions from non-romantic interaction with three of them.Originally Posted by Alstroemeria
Things are safe when they see you as worthy in an aristocratic kind of way. So, just before they reconsider my pedigree, I step away in silence...
Keeping that balance is exhausting.
Balzac
Oh, so does SLE make you feel more insecure or inferior due to them being Aristocrats?
I believe my own mom is an SLE so I can say this, the focus on social standing is quite exhausting and in my eyes pointless. Yes, I know I'm your son and I shouldn't be so uppity or blunt with my opinions, but I must remind you yet again that I don't give a flying fuck about social hierarchy and/or traditional norms and no amount of bible thumping and rules lawyering is going to change that! Then we insult each other, then we cool off, then we both say we're sorry about what we said/did and things settle back down into friendly relations until one of us presses the other's buttons again for reasons we're both probably unaware of and think shouldn't be an issue. The issue also shows up at her work, she almost never complains to her bosses even though she has a good laundry list of legitimate complaints regarding her co-workers (who are all quite lazy according to her and thus force her to pick up their slack). I keep telling her to file these complaints and to stop enabling them, but she just won't do it. Probably because "it's not her place" in her mind subconsciously and she fears losing her job due to office politics if she does what I suggest.
Thus, in response to this thread, I don't want my semi-dual. I love my mom, but being married to that? Nope, no way, please no we'd traumatize the children and probably make em' schizophrenic. I'll take an activity, mirror, identical, or kindred, not necessarily in that order. Though naturally I would prefer the dual, you can't always get what you want in life and must make do with what you have.
She actually sounds like an LSE (likely Si subtype) to me and would be your Supervisee by that standard.
Te as leading function in LSE (ESTj; Shtirlitz) and LIE (ENTj; Jack London) by Dmitry Golihov
He lives by external rules or "charter" that he has thought up himself. He imposes his vision of the correct "order of things" in external situations and is conservative in this vision (his assessment of who should be doing what, etc.) (...) Once he has learned a certain rule, he will follow it throughout his life (2x2=4). (...) Living with such a person on his own territory can be done only in accordance to his rules, and sometimes he attempts to extend them to nearby territories, as expansion of borders is viewed as a useful activity from point of view that a person lives by this, meaning that by this expansion he will "exist" in even greater extent. (...) He does not like those who spend their time irrationally and unproductively.Although the Supervisor can seem self-satisfied, petty, faultfinding and narrative, the Supervisee pays attention to their actions and considers the Supervisor as consequential. The Supervisee normally wants to gain recognition and commendation from the Supervisor. However, it may seem like the Supervisor always undervalues the abilities of the Supervisee. (...) The Supervisor sees the Supervisee as quite interesting and capable, but incomplete and therefore in need of some help and advice. The Supervisee does not respond to this aid as expected and this will often increase the Supervisor's attempts to change the Supervisee. Because the Supervisee naturally does not understand what it is that the Supervisor wants from them, this may irritate the Supervisor, who thinks that the Supervisee simply does not want to understand.
I regularly get anxious wondering if I said too much, or too little in front of SLEs.
This wont happen with my dual who forgets and forgives everything each new sunrise.
? I don't think Fi PoLR cares much either?
Totally relate as another Ni lead with Ni subtype.
Mirage just doesn't do it for us romantically.
I don't even think in these terms when it comes to relationships. I just want to be with someone I have strong chemistry with, some mutual interests, and a healthy bit of possessiveness toward each other.
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
Activity followed by mirror.
LII-Ne with strong EII tendencies, 6w7-9w1-3w4 so/sp/sx, INxP
None
Semi-dual would be fine.
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
Romantically? Activity, without question. I think Activity is better than duality for marriage, but everyone should experience duality. It makes for good experiences to reminisce on in one's elderly years, and provides a source of deep pain from which endless wisdom may emerge.
I also really like my beneficiaries and supervisees, and mirror depends because there are so many EIEs in the world that half of them will automatically suck, though the other half could definitely make for a great friend.
Why do you find Activity to be better than Duality?
My experience differs and I know you are specifically IEI as my Activator so I'm doubly curious now.
As for OP, Activity or maybe Semi-dual if Duality isn't possible.
I was considering replying to you by PM but I'll give it a shot here first~
The EP temperament of my dual is very frustrating. The most characteristic "bad trait" of the EP temperament is flakiness, they always give off this impression of having some other place to be, other people to see, and a lot of the times it's not even true - they just want to keep you puzzling over how to make them stay. I rank EP last for commitment and reliability.
Compared to Exxps, my LSI partner was much more difficult to start a relationship with. But after that, he never, ever, balked at commitment. I look at him, and I want him to be the father of my kids, I want to grow old with him. Because he has all the Ti and Se I could want, but also because he will be there.
But I haven't really answered your question of why activity is better than duality, have I?
Well sure you only specifically talked about LSI/SLE here but that's already interesting, thanks.
Just one comment/question, I heard duality is the one that's hard to start while activity is easy to start so how did you figure you are in activity relations with LSI and duality with SLE?
Are you sure you are not actually talking about your Conflictor?Ha, it totally sounds like that.
Perhaps you are actually a mistyped Delta, or you have mistyped your Conflictors as your Dual in the past.
What you said reminds me a lot of how I feel about my Conflictor father, and of a tongue-in-cheek saying of a Socionist on how IEIs who grew up with their Conflictor will become great philosophers later on.
I don't see how a Dual can give you so much emotional pain, unless he is a deeply unhealthy and disturbed individual, in which case it is a matter of the individual and not all Duals.
Yes, that could refer to my conflictor too I suppose. I grew up with a conflictor mother, and it has definitely made something of a philosopher out of me. But still not as painful as badly timed, short-lived duality.Are you sure you are not actually talking about your Conflictor?
Perhaps you are actually a mistyped Delta, or you have mistyped your Conflictors as your Dual in the past.
What you said reminds me a lot of how I feel about my Conflictor father, and of a tongue-in-cheek saying of a Socionist on how IEIs who grew up with their Conflictor will become great philosophers later on.
I don't see how a Dual can give you so much emotional pain, unless he is a deeply unhealthy and disturbed individual, in which case it is a matter of the individual and not all Duals.
FTR, I've been checking my impulses to tell people they are mistyped, bc I really don't like people saying that to me. Not saying you should do the same, but people are what they believe themselves to be, no?
No hard feelings though
I'd find another dual. But, I don't think my boyfriend is going to let that happen.
-
Dual type(as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Kindred, Activator, Mirror -- possibly Supervisor.
Benefit, Activity, Mirage, Mirror.
Mirage or Mirror.
activity or identical are the best after dual. purely socionics wise, cause we all know that only the best intercourse counts.
Maybe that depends on type whether Identical is good for a long term relationship, I don't find it is, for me.
I've actually been good friends with some of my supervisors and supervisees. With that said:
Acquaintances- Extinguishment
Friendships- Mirror
Romantically- Semi-dual, benefit, activity
I'm currently in an Activity Relationship, although I don't have any duality experience for purposes of comparison. I can definitely see how some Activation relations would be easier to start than duality--for instance SLE/EIE and ESE/ILE are very openly social. This puts them in a position more often to experience the benefit from the positive interplay of complementary informational elements.
LSI in particular can be very guarded personally, and I've noticed many of them to highly favour the quality of relationships over quantity. This makes them slow to warm and open up...thus limiting their odds of exposure. However once they do let their guard down & let you into their inner circle, they are extremely solidly reliable and loyal! I imagine the same would be true for the ESI vs SEE. The social circle of the SEE is usually overwhelmingly gigantic. I am not sure if this would be initially intimidating to the ILI, but the LIE just views it as inefficient and encourages the SEE to streamline and then spend more time on useful interactions as opposed to being so available on everyone else's agenda and determination. This recommendation and assistance surprisingly turns out to be a relief to the overly-extended people-pleasing SEE. Being with another extrovert also takes pressure off the LIE--releasing him/her from having to (often unsuccessfully) use so much F.😉 It allows LIE to become more introverted...which I believe is a healthier state, given the overly aware and extended scope of things the LIE feels responsible for.
Similarly, I think that any social over-involvement of a SLE would roll right off the back of a EIE--as they would be distracted and busy with their own social agenda, or else want to also be part of the SLE's. The more limited, low-key and slower-paced social world of the LSI might be a better fit for the IEI. The same could be said for SEI/LII--both would want to "leave the party" early😉. The SEE/LIE would stay all night...although ironically I've found the SEE/LIE pairing to have resulted in more introversion on both our parts. Toned-down versions of SEE and LIE are actually improvements (imo)! It may be that with LSI/IEI, both may realise and appreciate that the necessary & solid level of respect/trust to let their guard down and open more fully is present.
I don't know if it has anything to do with social extraversion/introversion, more like about a similarity - that is also somewhat complementary on top of that! - that helps partners notice each other quickly? At least that's how I am with the IEIs, being LSI. EIE is of course even more complementary and fitting in the sense of duality but the large difference - compared to IEI - is what I think slows things down initially. I'm not sure if that's the only reason tho'?
What that similarity is, the activator partner's leading function is my mobilizing and vice versa and I think that's what really makes things simple initially.. me being more aware of my mobilizing anyway, compared to my dual seeking function, and assuming others are the same with this. The problem in my case specifically is too much introversion though, over time I find it's not ideal, it leads to more than desired isolation inside the relationship. Also, somehow things are a bit out of sync when interacting. Probably part of that is that my dual seeking function is a contact function of the activator partner that's too flexible, situational and not always there, unlike the leading function. And vice versa, their dual seeking function vs my creative being out of sync a bit. I got these observations from trends over time in the communication.
I don't see why this is specific to LSI/IEI over LSI/EIE and SLE/IEI relations?It may be that with LSI/IEI, both may realise and appreciate that the necessary & solid level of respect/trust to let their guard down and open more fully is present.
So you think it would be individual preference whether someone wants more socializing or a deeper relationship beyond it simply being activity or duality relations? Accommodations can be made for each case, though. Say, I would not necessarily want to leave a party early if it's going well.LSI in particular can be very guarded personally, and I've noticed many of them to highly favour the quality of relationships over quantity. This makes them slow to warm and open up...thus limiting their odds of exposure. However once they do let their guard down & let you into their inner circle, they are extremely solidly reliable and loyal! (..)
Similarly, I think that any social over-involvement of a SLE would roll right off the back of a EIE--as they would be distracted and busy with their own social agenda, or else want to also be part of the SLE's. The more limited, low-key and slower-paced social world of the LSI might be a better fit for the IEI. The same could be said for SEI/LII--both would want to "leave the party" early. The SEE/LIE would stay all night...although ironically I've found the SEE/LIE pairing to have resulted in more introversion on both our parts. Toned-down versions of SEE and LIE are actually improvements (imo)!
seppuku
j/k
seppuku
j/k
Take someone else's?
[not talking about taking someone else's guy people]
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
that's just perpetuating the cycle of #nodualsforanyone
Take someone else's?
[not talking about taking someone else's guy people]
#don't steal. love.
activator. on 3rd place is semi-dual
why not third place mirror since they are in your quadra and have your quadra values
Dual type
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Awwwthat's just perpetuating the cycle of #nodualsforanyone
#don't steal. love.
#duality is probable
#never let anyone steal hopes or dreams
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
Apparently I have a tendency to go for Super-Ego
(I blame the enneagram though)
No, I kind of go for whoever I like and type later.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
abusive conflictor or supervisor? sorry, i just have to try to keep socionics interesting.
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