Member Questionnaire (Mayr)

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

Member Questionnaire

What is beauty? What is love?
Something is beautiful when it has impact. It should hit me in the gut and move me. Like when I think back about it after a long time and still feel the connection, that it stayed with me. Love is subjective.

What are your most important values?
I need a goal in life, something I can strive for.

Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
I don’t believe in God.

Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
War is violence. I abhor violence.
Power is Power. No clue how to describe it further.

What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
Dunno not much of a talker most of the time irl. I pursue my interests in private.

Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
I don’t discuss my bodily functions with people.
I’m neglectful of my body. Sometimes people have to remind me to eat.

What do you think of daily chores?
I don’t think about them. I just do, what I think needs to be done that day.

Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
Recently watched:
The Philadelphia Story - funny dialogue
L’Eclisse - very subtle despiction of two people who might be in love, but it leads nowhere, it was not enough*
La Notte - the ending kinda moved me, subtle despiction of the death of a relationship and the resulting feeling of emptiness and ‚what now?‘*
* just my personal ramble

Reading material: I don’t know. I like to read, but I wouldn’t consider me to be very well read (compared to other people). I like crime novels (lol) and books that really go deep into peoples psyches, like when they reflect about their life. I also like books with a set of characters and the analysis of the the relationship each character has with each other.

Last thing that really left a deep impression was a book about a women who was locked up/held captured by her rapist and the ongoing psychological battle she had with him. Yeah that's morbid but idk...

What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
I cry when I’m very stressed and pissed (seldom though).
I smile at people, I like and dogs. My smile can sometimes be more of the internal kind.
Sometimes it's nice to keep things inside, where other people cannot see them.
Oscar Wilde and funny animal videos always make me lol.

Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
Anywhere I can be alone and feel at one with myself.

What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
Real ‚character flaws‘: bottling up of /repression of anger, it’s boiling beneath the surface for some time and then I might explode (seldom) or implode and regret it. I dislike that very much about me.

I also think, that I’m not very aware of my emotions most of the time. Like the real emotions, not thinking or rationalizations. Like I just do my things and then stuff happens and it‘s very hard for me to feel out what’s going on, like there is idk... and then I just shrug it off and move on and then like some time later it, (out of the blue) it might catch up with me and I start to feel overwhelmed. I hate that surfacing of raw emotion. I like to feel calm and collected.

I thinks that's also one of the reasons why I can’t stand being around highly charged emotional environments. Like they disrupt my inner calm world and I just can‘t deal with that. I think some people might pick that up about me and think of me as cold, not caring and that I should work on it and be open to people and their stuff, let the emotion happen and yeah... idk.

I can also be nervous about minor things. I can get touchy then and might overreact about stuff. I'm trying to be more relaxed about that.
There are probably more things. But that’s enough for today.

What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
Perseverance, Optimism

In what areas of your life would you like help?
I don’t want help dealing with my life.

Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
Yes, and then I get over myself.

What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
Going with the people that I know longest and feel at ease with:
People who can forgive. I find that really admirable.
People who are kind. Kind people always make me calmer and I feel more at ease.

I dislike: Violence, Getting at me with an overbearing, demanding and pressuring attitude.
I can get extremely mulish and irrationally stubborn when that happens

How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
I think above all I want to feel connected. Like the other person feels real to me.

If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
I would be really afraid that I couldn’t love/stand my child.
No idea what ‚measures‘ one would take then.
Like practical matters, sooner or later I will be able to manage.
But resenting my child, that would scare me.

A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
Actions before Words.

How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
I have no clue how I would ‚choose‘ it’s more like there is something (intuitive decision?)
I behave, how I behave.

How do you behave around strangers?
Reserved, calm, contained. Sometimes nervous and high strung.

Sorry about punctuation and grammar. I always have been crappy about that.
Tbh this Questionnaire kinda sucks, the questions are so... idk abstract?
General thoughts I have: I‘m not a logical type. I’m not a p.