Enneagram type 4

[Aylen]

Enneagram Type Four: Creative Seeker

• Emotional Origins
• Ego-Driven Fours
• Pathological Fours

• Self-Actualized Fours
• Balancing the Opposites

Fours possess a multitude of qualities: introspective, intuitive, sensitive, compassionate, artistic, self-motivated, ambitious, true to self, and emotionally vulnerable. They often have a steel core — when they sink into despair, they bounce back to reinvent themselves. Fours have an emotional, romantic nature. They love beautiful, sensual surroundings to feel their feelings, and they use their vivid imagination to create fantasies, stir passions, or simply exaggerate emotions. Often called overly sensitive or dramatic, they harbor and nurture deeply felt emotions, particularly a bittersweet melancholy that they seen to cherish despite their complaints.

• Balancing the Opposites
  
• Emotional Origins

[Aylen]

This is from my "human design" chart.

Apparently I am "tribal". I can be an emotional rollercoaster.

When we look at someone with a defined emotional center we know right away that this is a person whose body chemistry continually cycles them through a binary experience of emotions.

It is variously defined as experiencing high and low, up and down, hope and pain. If you are not emotionally defined then it is simply impossible for you to grasp what this is really like. If you are emotionally defined it is possible that you might grasp what it is like – but it’s not necessarily the case that you will. Someone whose emotional definition is the result of a completely unconscious channel, might not ever be aware of their wave.

Anyone who has the solar plexus defined can NOT rely on their feelings of the moment. However, once they have gone through the entirety of their emotional wave they MUST make decisions based on how it makes them feel.

As noted in the introduction, authority is not a “separate dynamic”. It’s not a little control center sitting off to the side carefully observing and analyzing the present with a full awareness of everything that happened in the past and carefully considering all possible future outcomes in the light of sometimes competing goals. Every person is a complex amalgam of various states of being that are the result of internal and external sensory data AND the relationship that each person is continually building between the internal and external.

As we saw when looking at centers, the solar plexus always operates in a wave and that works from hope to pain in some variation, but the shape of the wave differs depending on the defined circuitry.
Let's recap the wave variations:

Collective The abstract, collective wave, operating in the gates 41, 30, 35, and 36, is a crash wave; climbing up, then moving along a plateau, to be followed by a crash down. This wave when it’s in the hope part of the cycle is kind of saying “ohhhhh great!” But in the pain cycle it’s saying “Oh is that all?” This is reflected in the 35-36 channel of “Been there, done that”.
Tribal The tribal wave of the 19, 49, 37, and 40, is very reliable in its cyclical nature of moving up and down like a roller coaster. Here the dynamics of hope and pain play out more like “"It's a .....benign....catastrophe!" There’s often the sense that one is, indeed needed and wanted, but it’s followed by the feeling that one is rejected and doesn’t belong.
Individual The emotional individual (the 39/55, 12/22) goes along almost flat; people don’t even know that they are emotional. Then they either go straight up like a rocket or straight down. When they are up things are just fabulous, but when they are down they really feel like they will never, ever be up again. The pain and despair can be all encompassing and they see no light at the end of the tunnel.