Enneagram type 9: all things Nine

[Amber]

“A man is not called wise because he talks and talks again; but if he is peaceful, loving and fearless then he is in truth called wise.”

“Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.”

“In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west; people create distinctions out of their own minds and then believe them to be true.”

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

“You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger.”

“Meditate.
Live purely. Be quiet.
Do your work with mastery.
Like the moon, come out
from behind the clouds!
Shine”

―Gautama Buddha

[Aylen]

I got this from a 972 on FB.

[Aylen]

The inner landscape of the Nine resembles someone riding a bicycle on a beautiful day, enjoying everything about the flow of the experience. The whole picture, the entire situation, is what is pleasant and identified with rather than any particular part. The inner world of Nines is this experience of effortless oneness: their sense of self comes from being at one with their experience. Naturally, they would like to preserve the quality of oneness with the environment as much as possible.

Their receptive orientation to life gives Nines so much deep satisfaction that they see no reason to question it or to want to change anything essential about it. Because Nines develop psychologically this way, we should not fault them if their view of life is open and optimistic. But we may fault Nines when they refuse to see that life, while being sweet, also has difficulties which must be dealt with. Their refusal to fix the tire when it goes flat, so to speak, is symbolic of their problem. They would rather ignore whatever is wrong so that the tranquillity of their ride will not be disturbed.


- See more at: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/t....rins6V6X.dpuf

Only the healthiest Nines achieve an awareness of themselves as distinct persons who can actively choose what they need and want. Healthy Nines know how to take direct positive actions for themselves. By contrast, average Nines have a relatively passive orientation to life. They still have substantial vitality and willpower, but their willpower is used to deflect others, to resist, to fend off reality. Average Nines use most of their energy to maintain and defend two boundaries against the environment. One is against the outer environment: Nines do not want their inner stability to be affected or influenced by other people. The second is against aspects of their inner environment: this can include feelings, memories, thoughts or sensations which would be jarring or upsetting, thus ruining their balance and harmony. These boundaries do protect the Nine’s inner world, but they do so at a high price. What they do not see is that they cannot really contribute to others, or even love them, if they do not develop themselves as persons, and that real development requires risking discomfort, questioning or even releasing one’s inner “balance,” and sometimes facing truths which are unpleasant and uncomfortable. But this does not matter to them since, for average Nines, personal growth, individuality, and self-determination are not values whereas “stability,” peace, and comfort are.


- See more at: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/t....rins6V6X.dpuf

Stuff like this is how I know 9 is tertiary for me.

[marooned]

Stuff like this is how I know 9 is tertiary for me.

hah. i don't relate to most of that myself. i think helen palmer is my favorite on nines, and reading her stuff was how i started looking seriously at nine for myself.

mainly i see it for myself as the fairly simple mechanism of not being able to set priorities in my life and stick to them, as well as being an escapist from external reality to some extent. so attention for a nine often works such that whenever i probably should be working on some real world problem like cleaning my apt, or job hunting, or doing my laundry, or dealing with finances, getting enough sleep, etc. my attention is suddenly grabbed away by something far more interesting which i then immerse myself in to the detriment of my life and ability to function. if i identify things i need to work on, somehow i can never maintain attention on any of them. so it's this experience of my attention being always on the wrong thing, which is actually really painful and unpleasant (a feeling of being stuck in inertia) rather than the wonderful life of peace nine descriptions like to give.

i'm not likely to turn into a person who can maintain internal peace by denying turmoil... my inner experience is full of turmoil - it's just i can't seem to make myself do anything about it. as long i have this problem, i'll identify with nine. that said i can escape situations i dislike by turning my attention inward to internal fantasy (which is much like what you quoted, in essence, even though the way it's written really doesn't ring true to me). this is a coping mechanism i learned as a child because my home life was fairly bad (i had an overbearing father who i was afraid of) and there was nothing i could do about it. as an adult though, this coping mechanism keeps me stuck in bad situations because i can't seem to gather up the attention and drive to change them. so it makes sense that anger isn't "working" correctly, because anger is something that provides the impetus to change something rather than just being moved along as though everything is out of my control.

i also learned through my childhood that my needs weren't important (presenting anything i needed might anger my dad, so i learned to suffer in silence). eventually i kind of learned how not to notice my needs at all, rather than suffer through something i could do nothing to help. emotionally, i can be rather masochistic and have a bit of a victim mentality, usually seeing myself enslaved by others and their oppressive demands. this is why i prefer to avoid people. i suppose the E5 piece doesn't help here either as i usually feel i have very limited internal resources (energy?) and i see others as trying to sap away what little i have. interaction with others is usually incredibly draining. (eta: although in contrast to this pattern that seemed to win out in the case of my dad, and now in my life... i was fairly emotionally demanding with my mom and sister who i was safe with. when i'm around them, i'm still that way... but it seems in the rest of my life, it's almost like i associate the entire external world with my dad/that relationship - well and maybe part of the fear of demands part comes actually in part from my mom too.)

another thing i related to was a video about types and counseling by the fauvres. the tendency noticed with nine is that in counseling a lot of insight will emerge as well as ideas about what to do about their situation, but when you meet with the nine in the next session you find nothing has actually been *done* between sessions. it's as though the nine only holds these ideas conceptually and can't actually get them into action (which applies to being out of touch with the instinctive center - the ability to act goes out the window). what happens between sessions is the nine will in some sense "forget" any plan of action (although it may not have felt like a plan to the nine to begin with), or will have consistently remembered it, but procrastinated doing anything. again, though, the insight returns along with new ideas about what to do - which once again don't get implemented. and the pattern goes on. this can be somewhat befuddling to a counselor: as in, if you understand, why don't you *do* something about it. (personally i think in my case, low dopamine might *really* have something to do with this issue.)

lastly, i relate to the merging aspect of the nine, especially in romantic relationships. the way i come to understand something often also involves merging with that concept, feeling, idea, etc. i explore things through sort of empathetically embracing them in my mind.

i didn't always have this host of problems, most of them began emerging with increased lifestyle pressures which i wasn't able to cope with well. and i've always had limited energy/stamina, which is why it's important for me to be strategic. but even when healthier i think my attention followed a similar pattern of seeking intense stimulation (whether emotional or intellectual or an activity) over taking necessary actions (doing work). and so, i really am quite lazy.

also, as health declines, some of the "stimulation seeking" can devolve into its lower energy-level manifestation of "zoning out," which helps to reveal the mechanism for what it really is. zoning out is incredibly awful in feeling... like being a vegetable... it's like death where you're so stuck in inertia that you can't get out. but if one is going to that rather than acting on their priorities, that is significant, imo. basically i think that nines learned deep down that their needs and priorities are not important, and so a pattern was learned to avoid addressing them or connecting to them properly. it's a pattern that arises for some out of certain childhood situations, and then is rehearsed on a deep inner layer of consciousness over and over again. what a really unhealthy nine would seek, would be oblivion.

(fantasizing too can devolve into dissociation and depersonalization - a break from reality entirely. this reveals that the inner fantasy life is in fact escapism, which keeps one from doing something to fix their life.)