@Kore well that is a good start; now what of particular observations as to what you see as 4-ish about you or 5-ish about you?
I think it won't be hard to imagine why one can see 9w1 as your gut fix.
In a certain way, I think I could see if 4 and 9 combine, you could get this subtly ethical but mostly irrationally leading individual (irrational in the sense of irrational/rational).
Like I've often mentioned, if you're feeling triad, it is more of a subtle undercurrent, as if you are both very focused on yourself underneath all the oscillation and yet have the (almost contradictory) 9 attitude, which one could say is a refusal to "build" one's identity (the way 3's often are said to do in a deliberated way), due to an inertial harmony-seeking. Those who use integration/disintegration theory would say this is why 9 integrates to 3. The usual contrast of 4 to 9 is that 4 and 5 are some of the most intensely self-centered types, while 9 is self-forgetting in how it's typically portrayed.
There is another possibility which is you are core 9w1 and a 4-fixer, which doesn't sound impossible at all from how I've seen you..the reason being that at times we are seeing someone's back-side more than how they experience themselves, and the reason 9 is shown as integrating to 3 is actually an underlying identity issue, which leads them to oscillate back and forth, repress a lot and so forth. Sounds a bit like you actually, both from our interactions and that hidden script you posted. You'll usually get 4 overexpressing their identity in a "it bleeds" way in that they have basically identified with their sense of impoverishment of identity. This doesn't mean they'll do it in an externalizable way necessarily - usually that is more w3. Typing is a bit of an intuitive exercise so I am suggesting this on the hunch that you don't really do this.
I'd clarify that wanting to simply be unique is something that doesn't have to even be an image triad thing. I think like darya got at, lots of the 7/6 combo types also can have that sort of thing going. It looks different though because to 7's I get the sense it is more that it would be displeasing and unrewarding not to be unique, hence they will attempt to rationalize around such an outcome, than that it is their true concern who they "really are" and to take that seriously in a sense.
A lot of our pleasures and displeasures have to do with instinctual impulses, and 7's proximity to the instinctual triad is why they try to essentially rationalize around the impossibility of meeting any given instinctual impulse, so as to not be led to displeasure, giving them "gluttonous" an outlook. With E6, you get the Naranjo description that they cling to factors of emotional security, much as they cling to other forms of security. It sounds a bit how Gulenko describes ILI as vulnerable to emotions of others, so not at all unaware of their impact, merely that it's not expressive and so on with them in a way exhibiting complex use of the ethics of emotions (leading to the expressiveness and so forth typical of 4).
Hmmm. Strangely I really think you might be 9w1 now I reconsider. But likely 4-fixed. Can't see 2 or 3 anywhere. It could also be why it's hard to place you in either "feeling" or "thinking"
I do see 1 influence in you for sure, but I feel much better about 9w1 than 1w9 for you, in that I find your 1 comes out in a repressed way, not as if it's blatantly what you are.
As always, treat this all as subjective ways you could see yourself -- I tend to reject the idea that there is "one right" way with the enneagram and that "3's are like this" or "5's are like that", but I do think there are interesting things one can say using the language.
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Originally Posted by chemical
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