I Killed the King of Disease: Type Regicides

[Amber]

Probably SLE, SEE isnt far off.

oh, come on, dude is evidently negativist and constructivist.

[InvisibleJim]

oh, come on, dude is evidently negativist and constructivist.

I just want to tickle his chin.

I think he has a wad of beta drama tendencies in his post. If he can't induce cause and effect emotional reactions he ends up feeling hollow.

[Creepy-male]

I skimmed this quickly, unsure about type but here is some advice.

You go into way too much detail about your past and self-reflection. This is good occasionally I understand but try focusing on the present and future. Much of your explanation of yourself in the past sounds like making excuses for your behavior or spinning the past in a way that doesn't hurt your ego. Maybe just being more at peace with the past and focused on the present would help you.

Second you talk at length about not fitting in or angsty stuff like this, it's a major focus of this wall of words but you never explicitly say this, it's always wrapped in some excuse or explanation on why things weren't different. It sounds like a wine induced recitation of your trials and tribulations of being the bad kid outsider. This is were I would suggest being for adventurous and not taking your past shortcomings socially too serious-- they seem like a huge deal to you but remember in the eyes of most people you are likely just a passerby, object, or piece of meat that most people regard very shallow in the moment and this baggage you carry around really has no place in the hearts and minds of the vast majority of people you run across. I'd suggest taking easy, seeing the positive side of this objectification and saving the gory details for someone who cares and at the right time.

It seems like there is something more you want from these words than a typing-- like to be understood as a person. This comes naturally with time, and not from massive rants about your past recollections. People may not understand the events of your life and little interpretations you have of these but they will pick up on your vibe.