SX Variants:
SX/SP’s:
This is a very volatile type. They are driven to form connections but have very high demands of their partners. When their powerful fantasies don’t match reality, they become very restless. They take the fire and passion of the sexual instinct and turn it inward. This can cause both brooding and fiery outbursts. Dramatic mood swings are very likely with this type. This subtype of Four could be considered the most classic Four, because of the way they seem to embody the archetype of the tortured artist, although not all Fours of this subtype are artists. Stereotype aside, this subtype does tend to bring their emotions into focus more readily then the other subtypes of Four. What is under the surface with the self-pres/sexual is now bubbling to the surface. This subtype can resemble type Seven because of their drama, passion for experience and tendency to suffer from frustration when life seems dull. Like type Seven, they can seem to throw themselves into experience.
When healthy, this subtype learns to balance the need for passion with the less obvious need for groundedness which can come from solid and focused relationships with others and with their creative outlets.
sx/sp - total inward gives way to total outward in jerky bursts, usually directed at one person in particular, can't focus on the overall group, but may move rapidly from one total focus to the next
The SX/SP pursues bonds with more energy and are more likely to "lose themselves" in the feelings of a relationship. The SP/SX is more likely to maintain themselves independent of the relationship, but yet be dependent upon the other person. The reason for this is that SPs consider their mates as part of themselves, basically.
SX/SP: This is perhaps the most internally conflicted of the stackings, and potentially the most inconsistent in behavior. This may occur as a blockage of the sexual instinct which can be redirected as a more generally brooding and troubled personality. They may isolate themselves for long periods of time before reemerging. They live according to a strictly personal outlook and are not particularly concerned with the approval of others outside of their immediate concern. They seem to be searching for something, the missing piece. If they find a soulmate they will unite without fanfare, forming a secret bond, dealing with formalities as an afterthought. Powerful sexual impulses facing inner resistance may manifest symbolically in the psyche, giving way to soulful interpretations of the unconscious. Under periods of stress severe sexual tensions may manifest as erratic, impulsively destructive behavior. Can seem restless, torn between the comforts of a stable home life and the urge to wander. May be prone to self medicating.
SX/SP variants are more likely to idealize other people outside of the relationship, but are unlikely to ever consider cheating, because of the SP secondary. SP/SX are usually utterly faithful and would not likely even think of cheating as this would amount to "hurting themselves."
Motivation: to know the heart, reconcile inner conflict, form a secure union.
Familiar roles: the devotee, the seeker, the wanderer
The SX/SP description seems a little harsh and a bit too "feeling triad" biased, although parts of it are accurate. My experience with them is that their sexuality is only slightly inhibited by having the SP in secondary position. The right person brings them out of their "shell" quite easily.
The SX/SP can seem a little selfish in expecting to have their "needs" met, compared to the SP/SX who usually attempt to meet their own needs first and seem "cold" instead of selfish. As I told Marie in the SP thread, they can be really into someone at first and go pretty cold if they suddenly feel that person isn't right for them. On the bright side, they (SP) tend to be the most emotionally faithful variant and are always there for the people who are close to them in their lives.
“You are right about the SX/SP tendency for having some trouble with relationships. The SP variant tends to just look for someone similar to themselves, and they are usually pretty satisfied when they find that person, although this can take a while. SX/SPs often bond with others that have qualities that they find intriguing at the present that might not bode well for them in the future, and realize later that they neglected their SP secondary and are not getting what they truly want out of the relationship. On the positive, they tend to have a variety of fascinating experiences with others, and they usually have a better sense of how people truly click than the SP does.”
The SX/SP usually wants some kind of ideal qualities in other people and the realities of these other people's flaws is sometimes difficult for the variant to handle. On the other hand, it seems this variant gets "taken advantage" of more than the others due to their strong urge to connect and the fact that they do not usually have an excessive number of outside contacts outside the relationship like the SX/SO does.
“I was involved with an SX/SP 1w2 for four years, two of them married to her. My mother is an SX/SP 2w3 and has had all kinds of problems with her relationships. I know this variant pretty well. I defer to Jase when it comes to describing social variants, as I do not know this variant well at all. My contacts with the social have been fairly limited. I learned a lot being with an SX/SP and trying what I thought was my hardest to be emotionally satisfying only to find out in the end that it wasn't enough and that I was just too SP for her.”
The Ozzy dvd mostly has value as entertainment. If you can see the sx/sp phobic pattern through all the hijinks, it might be worth it to check out from that standpoint as well. Ozzy would seem to present more of a sx/soc counterphobic image, at least in the past, but the series and various interviews seem to indicate otherwise. He's a homebody with wanderlust, and seems pretty oblivious and indifferent to social concerns (he claims to have no friends, and the show doesn't offer any evidence to the contrary). His life is all about the connective charge he gets from performing, and his attachment to home life, and the split this causes in him.
People have pointed out that the sx/sp is Fourish, and maybe it is, since so much is marinating inside. The social in last position can further impede the delivery of the goods which the sx instinct has harvested within, and that could cause the brooding, conflicted, wandering sort of temperament associated with sx/sp on this thread.
I was going to add an observation I've made about SX/SP, but I was too lazy to do it. They seem to either really do the eye contact thing if they are interested in someone or get completely disinterested, you are right. I observe this kind of behavior watching dating shows when the SX/SP females will start out interested in a guy, making great eye contact, and then by the end of the date their eyes are wandering around the room, completely disinterested, if for some reason the man doesn't end up meeting their standards. The male SX/SP might do this too but they are usually horny so they still try to make a play on the woman but you can tell it will only be a one-night stand by his behavior.
Basically, I think you are right in generalizing SX/SP to yourself in that they *can* make great eye contact if they are actually emotionally interested
A friend of mine gave a good description of the sx/sp energy, as opposed to the sx/so. Both sexual types have a large energy, and tend to be pretty....er....obtrusive in a social setting. The difference is that sx/so's have a smooth energy that flows outwards, while sx/sp's energy goes in bursts. He pointed out that I'll sit there comparatively quietly until something in the conversation catches my attention, then I'll burst in and take over. Sx/so's don't do this, they tend to hold court on a more consistent basis, and be more polite and socially-oriented in their interaction as well. In general, sx/sp's are more in their heads, thinking....and will sit just thinking about the conversation, then suddenly feel a big burst of sharing come on, and burst in, sometimes at the wrong point, because they're not as attuned to the social dynamic. This is something I don't like about myself, one of my biggest faults that's been brought up by numerous people through the years. It's like I can't always get a feel for where to interject my thoughts in a group conversation, so I wind up blurting, and talking over people from all directions, even when I'm trying to gauge it. Sx/so's are very socially attuned and much smoother, regardless of e-type, than sx/sp's, who are just freakin jerky, no matter how they try. Unlike the sx/so's smooth outward flow (sometimes likened to a generator), sx/sp energy moves in/out/in/out in unpredictable bursts (sometimes likened to lightening). That's one reason sx/sp's[blocked due to guideline #4 violation]people off more.
However, I don't really see this dynamic in sp/sx's. Self pres/sexual's are less forceful in their interjections, and usually more contemplative. They think more thoroughly about what they want to say and how they want to say it before speaking than sx/sp's who, like I said, are very blurtatious. And alot of times, sp/sx's will have all kinds of interesting thoughts on things that they don't even express until someone draws it out of them. This isn't always so, they sometimes express alot, but they're (SP’s) not as aggressive about expressing their thoughts, for the most part. I've noticed that they (SP’s) can be happy just thinking to themselves without sharing, whereas I feel absolutely compelled to share, for better or worse. Sp/sx's are much more measured.
When sx/sp's are in withdrawal mode, they're basically tuned out. This is why they can appear more like a self pres type, but if you look closely, sp/sx's tend to be more tuned in and focused and present than a withdrawing sx/sp, who is trying to shut off the stimulation. If you look at them closely at such times, they'll appear to be elsewhere mentally. If you try talking to them, they'll display a reluctance to be drawn in. However, if something really catches their interest, they'll change dramatically and become like a regular sx/sp, all bursty and jerky and excited. Self pres/sexuals get excited too, when talking about ideas that interest them, very much so, but they don't do the jerky thing. It's more consistent, though not in the socially-conscious way of the sx/so. A sp/sx will obviously be drawing things out of their mind and probing for the proper words to express it, where a sx/sp will be more like *total focus inward. total focus outward in a burst. total focus inward....* Does that make sense?
sx/sp 4w3 is less pretentious than the sp/sx 4w3, less outlandish than the sx/so 4w3, less Sevenish than the so/sx 4w3, less intellectual than the soc/sp 4w3, and less Onelike than the sp/so 4w3. I think we have some sx/sp 4w3's around here somewhere. White Raven comes to mind, and I'm sure there have been a few others drifting through over the years. Salieri was most likely a sx/sp 4w3.
Originally Posted by Elina
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quadras. I can see Delta and Alpha preferring something less heavy, even the sx/sp ones, like Galen.
He just posted on his FB that he doesn't like the word "appropriate". He says it's just another word for "conforming".
