What would be the best way to find your dual? Parties? Through friends? Dating websites? Just walking up and talking to them? Tell me what you think...
How do you Find your Dual?
What would be the best way to find your dual? Parties? Through friends? Dating websites? Just walking up and talking to them? Tell me what you think...
Depending on how much experience you have with them - possibly the people who irritate you at first. It can be difficult to get a handle on them at first if you haven't had much experience of them.
This must depend on your and your dual's particular types. My most significant dual relationships began with the circumstance of sitting beside the person, either by chance or by their subtle design, and gradually getting into conversation and talking for a long, long, long time, immediately if possible, and then by arranging another meetup to talk and talk. In those conversations, both before and after knowing about Socionics, it was like being enveloped by a bubble that closed out everything else. I also noticed how everything I said was finding a place to land. So I wanted more of it, since being understood and accepted is an awesome feeling.
Locations of meeting: in learning environments centering on a shared interest; in places where I was a regular, such as coffee shops; and at nonrandom, meaningful social functions. These are times I was more still and receptive, rather than busy or preoccupied. Therefore I was more likely to notice them, and to sit still long enough for them to be able to gain my focus.
Last edited by golden; 07-13-2014 at 03:31 PM.
What is a vivid?
Everything interests me but nothing holds me.
a permanent marker, sorry i didn't realise it was a regional thingOriginally Posted by Hydrangea
(it's considered a generic term here)
This man's energy feel so positive to me. I would give him food and help him find a dual...he wouldn't have to work. He makes me smile but I don't think he is my dual. I wonder about his type...
Short of carrying a sign and walking the streets hoping a socionics minded person sees you, and does an on the spot VI, I would say you meet a dual when you least expect it and they magically show up to help you with something you may not have even known you needed help with, or they make you laugh at things that would put you off if said to you by another personality type.
I am not talking about romantic duals either and I always feel like I have to make that clear. If looking for romantic relationships I would advise people not to use socionics as the only measure of compatibility but really I don't care too much about how others pick a partner.
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
U duals will kick u ass
Anywhere.
It's happened to me randomly before I even knew of socionics... so that can happen.
Or if you're intentionally wanting to go out and find a dual to date do everything you said and keep socionics in mind, and also like @Aylen said keep an open-mind to non-dual connections, as well.
An ESE just showed up at comp sci this year. I can tell because she's networked extensively out of nowhere and has a big ESE grin. They shouldn't be hard to spot.
Personally I've made a lot of friends just talking to strangers at bus stops. I guess it's low risk because A) they're trapped there and B) they can usually safely assume they'll never see you again. The last rave I went to was great for that too. Some of the group we went with just sat by a fire and shot the breeze with all the MDMA'd-up hippies.
@mercutio mentioned in the chatbox a while ago some amino acid-derivative, which I think was Japanese. One of its effects was to reduce shyness, so that might also help.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sulbutiamine
See, that by itself would make me uncomfortable. Like I'm suddenly obligated to interact with someone simply by happenstance regardless of my interest in them or what we have to share with each other. It feels like a waste of energy, investing a bunch of time in someone I'm never going to see again. I'd rather spend my time engaging with someone over a much longer period, allowing a rapport to grow and evolve instead of some mere short-term stimulation.
I've only made one friend that way. I dunno what type he was or anything, but he constantly changed phone numbers, I'd run into him randomly, he knew lots of people, could move fast like me, talked about one time he was really angry and got angry at the moment. I still don't know what type he was, but I found myself using his words to see how other people would react to what he said. He was kind of moody, and pretty slippery. But interaction was pretty normal, but maybe a litttle dramatic at times. And all of his friends seemed subdued in comparison to him :/
I think this guy initiated with me, and knew how to do the whole "keep a large distance" thing with me. Although that decreased with time.
For some reason some people seem to try and communicate at an overly short physical distance and completely screw up interactions.
Last edited by Satan; 07-15-2014 at 04:04 PM.
LOL serotonin, perhaps? It's derived from tryptophan...
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
It depends what you think a dual is.
If you think its a 'maritsa' style romantic bliss then that does not exist.
If you think duality implies complimentary communication styles then you will find plenty of duals around assuming your net is cast sufficiently wide.
Romantic bliss can be fleeting but ease in communication is a skill to be mastered.I am convinced you can develop it with anyone who is open enough and fuck who isn't. heh That is why I have spent years learning all these different personalty typing systems, including blood typing.
What I am starting to see is that when I put them all together, all roads do seem to lead to Rome...
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
Totally. You have to work at it, pay attention to how the other person wants to interact, pick the right time to take the initiative, or to hold back. It won't happen automatically, even with a dual.Romantic bliss can be fleeting but ease in communication is a skill to be mastered.
In that case, why would anyone bother? ;-)
“I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking
It's just that duals are hard to recognize.
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
Conflictors on the other hand are easy to identify. You're obviously my conflictor.
Agree.
So you're leaning EII for me, then? Or do you think you're LSI?
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
If duality means ease of communication, then that means one less thing to worry about in a relationship. And if that also means one less reason for the relationship to end horribly, then sign me up!
It's one of forty things that can cause a relationship to end horribly. Pick your poison.
Then Duality serves as damage limitation
This >> other thingsThen Duality serves as damage limitation
Nah, it's a sedative, you don't feel the pain untill AFTER you break up, than you either die from heartspasms, or realise that the other person wasn't your dual after all, but (gulp) instead your conflictor, because you had typed yourself wrong. you build up your new identity, swallow a new dual (sedative) and continue the cycle of burn or be burned.Then Duality serves as damage limitation
This my friend is the truth socionics teaches us. The only good dual is a dead dual!
Congratulations on making a joke ref. Now if you could just remove all the cruft prior.
Dualism CAN mean great romantic chemistry, and not just ease of communication. Not that every dual is gonna be that way, and maybe it depends on e types and subtypes or whatever else but yes dualism can totally be more than just ease of communication. I'm saying this from personal experience. But of course you can probably find that in a non dual relationship too. That scenario, though, is something I don't know from personal experience...
Last edited by Ron Mexican; 07-15-2014 at 12:01 AM.
Do what you love!
But seriously, even socionically that makes sense. Moving in your ego block will attract your dual through their Super-Id block. Especially work on your creative function - it's your dual's "dual-seeking" function for a reason.
Hence - do what you love, create, produce! and they will come find you.
What's the dual seeking function? I would think it's the suggestive which would make it his base not creative
Yes, it's the suggestive
Oops omg. Almost got away with smokingYes, it's the suggestive
I think first and foremost, you have to know what you are looking for. It's not going to matter where they are, it's going to matter who they are. Is this my dual? Recognition is the key. Start with that and the rest follows.
Get a job
Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.
You know I've been around this forum for years, and I still don't think I really know.
And "dual" on it's own doesn't mean enough too.
First - build a sexy body - people like to fuck.
Second - acquire currency - people like to eat, drink.
Third - learn to communicate - people like to converse.
Then you go out.
If you're a man: hide your interests in Star Trek, socionics, gaming and all kinds of non-concrete-world mumbo jumbo like that. This is not instinctual enough for girls, it's too mental, gets them too far away from sexuality and emotions.
If you're a woman: tame your bitchiness and get real about the world, guys aren't turned on by your career achievements, but things like genuine femininity, sexiness however much you can show, and basic respect to a guy can go a long way.
lol, this is probably good.
i think my boyfriends balok fascination is endearingly quirky and he's expressed admiration for career-minded women more than once. This advice doesn't really apply to everyone. and if you're telling people to hide things about themselves that kinda defeats the purpose of meeting compatible people, don't you think? do you self-type? whats your gender?If you're a man: hide your interests in Star Trek, socionics, gaming and all kinds of non-concrete-world mumbo jumbo like that. This is not instinctual enough for girls, it's too mental, gets them too far away from sexuality and emotions.
If you're a woman: tame your bitchiness and get real about the world, guys aren't turned on by your career achievements, but things like genuine femininity, sexiness however much you can show, and basic respect to a guy can go a long way.
Eh, that could be something he has been just fetishizing about. I just never see guys being turned on about women's career quite the same way a man gets admiration for being an achiever.
No, it's not good to hide things about yourself, but come on.. everyone makes up the best presentation they can have on initial meetings, men a bit more than women, exaggerating themselves, but women do it in not so obvious-sometimes way. But go on.. how many people in the world are into socionics? Chances of finding a socionist in let's say.. a bar? Going to explain the whole theory from the ground up? Yawn.
I self-type ISTp atm, either E5 or E8 in the enneagram and my gender is female.
Yeah sure.. vegans..all..the..way. Not for me personally. That is all!what about the legions of women who like men that are skinny enough that they might almost bruise the insides of your thighs?
maybe you live in a more traditional society gender-wise. A man looking for something casual won't be turned on by career. But in other cases a guy resents that only if he's less accomplished than the woman he's "courting". I agree that trying to conceal or to falsify who you really are is not going to lead you into very authentic relationships.
This is some good advice from stasonics here.
Of course if you have a hotter body, you fuck hotter people.
Of course if you have money, you can lure easier.
Of course if you know how to build more than 3 words phrases, you can chat up faster.
This is like... an evidence right?
Does not mean that people do not go out before building a sexy body, they still fuck without money and communication, duh.
For the rest it's subjective.
I like people who do not make up their interests or hide behind something obviously false. It's like garlic, it stinks and I smell it immediately.
As a woman, I stay deep down in my illusionary world and cherish my bitchiness along with my career achievements.
If it bothers a man in front of me, I let go, there are plenty of fish in the sea.
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
