How do you Find your Dual?

[Suz]

.

jesus christ no.

I look at pictures of myself from 6 months ago when I was 145 pounds and going around like some kind of borderline anorexic and it freaks me out, like I'm looking at a rejected monster design for Men In Black or something. thank god for weightlifting, or the body dysmorphia and the narcissism would have conspired to have me dwindling in the opposite direction, despairing because my skinniness was inferior to those taut models in xkcd ,. I can't wear the skinny jeans anymore, but at least I don't have to walk around in my constant state of delusional paranoia afraid that a stray punch from Urkel could possibly give me spinal paralysis (now it would at least take two...)

Also, as where to meet your duals, well, assuming for the moment I'm ILI for good now, the only dual I've thus far met and had a close relationship was because the compulsory schooling system forced us to be in a close proximity to one another.And socionics was created by the Soviets...basically, your dumb ass won't be able to find your dual if you are in a capitalist society which allows you to "go your own way" and cocoon.

As a lifelong classical liberal, my best advice for finding your dual is to accept socialism as your lord and savior. Surrender personal autonomy and the great melting pot will be stirred for you.

socionics doesn't seem to be an entity amenable to a political inclination... it transcends that.

[bolong]

Romantic bliss can be fleeting but ease in communication is a skill to be mastered. I am convinced you can develop it with anyone who is open enough and fuck who isn't. heh That is why I have spent years learning all these different personalty typing systems, including blood typing. What I am starting to see is that when I put them all together, all roads do seem to lead to Rome...

Totally. You have to work at it, pay attention to how the other person wants to interact, pick the right time to take the initiative, or to hold back. It won't happen automatically, even with a dual.

[sta]

lol, this is probably good.



i think my boyfriends balok fascination is endearingly quirky and he's expressed admiration for career-minded women more than once. This advice doesn't really apply to everyone. and if you're telling people to hide things about themselves that kinda defeats the purpose of meeting compatible people, don't you think? do you self-type? whats your gender?

Eh, that could be something he has been just fetishizing about. I just never see guys being turned on about women's career quite the same way a man gets admiration for being an achiever.

No, it's not good to hide things about yourself, but come on.. everyone makes up the best presentation they can have on initial meetings, men a bit more than women, exaggerating themselves, but women do it in not so obvious-sometimes way. But go on.. how many people in the world are into socionics? Chances of finding a socionist in let's say.. a bar? Going to explain the whole theory from the ground up? Yawn.

I self-type ISTp atm, either E5 or E8 in the enneagram and my gender is female.

what about the legions of women who like men that are skinny enough that they might almost bruise the insides of your thighs?

Yeah sure.. vegans..all..the..way. Not for me personally. That is all!

[Amber]

Eh, that could be something he has been just fetishizing about. I just never see guys being turned on about women's career quite the same way a man gets admiration for being an achiever.

maybe you live in a more traditional society gender-wise. A man looking for something casual won't be turned on by career. But in other cases a guy resents that only if he's less accomplished than the woman he's "courting". I agree that trying to conceal or to falsify who you really are is not going to lead you into very authentic relationships.

[Ron Mexican]

socionics doesn't seem to be an entity amenable to a political inclination... it transcends that.

I don't think what he was saying was meant to be taken so seriously.
He's just saying duals are polar opposites, and so often they won't be found doing the same things in the same environment,
and it's hard to meet them sometimes when you're doing your own thing.

[Kalinoche buenanoche]

[Amber]

[wacey]

I met a romantic dual for the first time, post-socionics, and that chance encounter has, without embellishment, changed the course of my life. Now, I don't know if it was duality, or simply the convergence of everything that I had experienced up until that point, all I can say with certainty is this: he moved me unlike anyone has ever before. I recognized the signs, the need to be close, the easy rapport, the spontaneous joy, the obvious psychological compatibility, the trust, hearing friends and family tell you you are good for each other; I slowed him down, he made me laugh. I cannot say with certainty what my sociotype is, however, in light of the aushura inter-types, is it even necessary to know? A dual is dual. Now I seem to see them everywhere. In all honesty, after all the personal demons and struggles one faces, the letting go of oneself, being as you are without struggle, assisted by the encounter with a dual, helps a person attract more of them. I am a believer.

By the way we met in a bar. Go figure.

[Whoobie77]

I don't think what he was saying was meant to be taken so seriously.
He's just saying duals are polar opposites, and so often they won't be found doing the same things in the same environment,
and it's hard to meet them sometimes when you're doing your own thing.

socionics doesn't seem to be an entity amenable to a political inclination... it transcends that.

yeah it was meant to be a jokey post.

I wholly affirm Elina's interpretation, though. Right there inherent in the word, "duality", is the implication that the phenomenon is one of a meeting of two distinct, opposing worlds. I'm not the best authority on duality, mostly because I identify with multiple types (good god this whole thing is one big Barnum hoax, why do I keep sinking time into it) but what I think is my dual I have met in SF saturated environments- hairdressing shops, fraternity mixers, interpersonal sales floors- out of pragmatic necessity, unconscious "pull", or nagging from my social butterfly superego personified. The thread in my mind is somewhat pointless, because if you try and orchestrate the meeting, you'll be doing in through your ego functions, thus having your carefully laid plans directing you to physical spaces you would be in anyway. (There are a lot more NeFis than SeFis in my life because we tend to occupy the same intuitive + subjective appraisals headspace and therefore discussion/activity space, even though I get irked by the Ne impossibility and that Fi+ hold hands with everyone stuff). Basically, you have to trust the cosmic irony (even though I'm agnostic, I like and increasingly identify with the story of Job- that the universe is basically going to shit on you for no reason and make you humble) will put you in compromising, difficult, obnoxious, frustrating situations, and then a person who is able to bear the yoke with you may then appear.

[Satan]

It's just that duals are hard to recognize.

Conflictors on the other hand are easy to identify. You're obviously my conflictor.

[Reficulris]

Then Duality serves as damage limitation

Nah, it's a sedative, you don't feel the pain untill AFTER you break up, than you either die from heartspasms, or realise that the other person wasn't your dual after all, but (gulp) instead your conflictor, because you had typed yourself wrong. you build up your new identity, swallow a new dual (sedative) and continue the cycle of burn or be burned.

This my friend is the truth socionics teaches us. The only good dual is a dead dual!

[Satan]

The only good dual is a dead dual!

Congratulations on making a joke ref. Now if you could just remove all the cruft prior.

[Reficulris]

Congratulations on making a joke ref. Now if you could just remove all the cruft prior.

Congratulations on getting one, this WAS one of the easier ones

[Suz]

Conflictors on the other hand are easy to identify. You're obviously my conflictor.

Agree.

So you're leaning EII for me, then? Or do you think you're LSI?

[Beautiful sky]

SLI like nice clothes and shoes so find them at the mall