Balanced between subtype

[Phaedrus]

Here's what i based myself on:

Phaedrus wrote:
With ENTps I can relax in a way that I can't with ENTjs.

I guessed that someone might focus on that. I'm not sure whether I have described it correctly or not. In a slightly different sense from what I have in mind here I can relax with ENTjs, too. But, in line with the Mirror descriptions, my relations with ENTjs are more verbally oriented, and we are clearly different in our J and P attitude towards life. How do you explain that if I am an INTj?

Misunderstandings are more common in my relations with ENTps -- at least when we talk to each other. And that difference between a J life rhythm and a P life rhythm -- surely you must have an idea what I am talking about? Don't you see, and feel, that difference in the real life people you meet and in yourself?

Relaxing with your contrary is kinda like taking a sunbath on the edge of a volcano during an earthquake. To supress the tension, contraries have to constantly explain each other's basic outlook on life because there is usually no constructive understanding of the other party as there usually is when at least two quadra values functions are shared. There could probably be exceptions but you said you know many ENTps.

Yes, I know some ENTps. And we have different outlooks on life, but in a different way than I have a different outlook on life in comparison with ENTjs. Maybe I and my ENTp friend can relax better because we know each other so well.

If you are contraries, they should think you "judge them in silence" when it happens. Do you think they do?

I don't know. Maybe. An ENTp may sometimes respond with silence if we are discussing something and I might criticize something. An ENTj would never do that, at least I have not encountered it. There are definitely longer periods of silence when I am with ENTps than when I am with ENTjs. And the ENTp can often be the one who is more silent than me. I am often the initiator of topics to discuss, and when we discuss I often takes the leading role in the conversation. That is not common in my discussions with ENTjs.

Misunderstanding can usually be clarified calmly because there is a high level of "inner understanding" (Which is not present with your contrary) if we may call it like that.

That kind of "inner understanding" I think that I have with ENTjs more than with ENTps. At least if we are talking about verbal, logical misunderstandings. I really think that I understand how an ENTj thinks much better than I understand how an ENTp thinks. We (I and the ENTj) both try to be logical and consistent, and the ENTj usually presents his arguments in a systematic way, which is the way I prefer. With ENTps I am sometimes more in an "N-mode". I have a harder time keeping the discussion "on track". My ENTp friend says that he has to concentrate and be more logical and focused in discussions with me, whereas I have to concentrate to follow his intuitive jumps and analogies. He calms down a bit and becomes more logical, I may become more spontaneous.

Also, how does your relationship(s) with ENTps differ when there are other people around and when there are not?

I'm not sure of that. I don't know how to determine it.

[Jonathan]

Relaxing with your contrary is kinda like taking a sunbath on the edge of a volcano during an earthquake.

I'm pretty sure I know people of all four NT types (or most types overall, for that matter) that I can feel comfortable around, though I'm pretty sure I'm an NT. And there are some people who I don't feel comfortable around who are probably the same type as others I do feel comfortable with.

I think the Socionics relations are much more subtle than they're often made out to be.....It's basically one aspect of a relationship. It's an important aspect, but many other factors affect whether you can be comfortable around someone.

[Jonathan]

but he has also worked as a police man, he has a university degree in psychology ... and one in system theory (I'm not sure of the name in English ... science of systems?).

I believe systems science, or systems theory, are both correct.

[Joy]

INTjs and I can get along perfectly well if we don't talk about cetain things... like anything practical (such as the accumulation of wealth)