I guessed that someone might focus on that. I'm not sure whether I have described it correctly or not. In a slightly different sense from what I have in mind here I can relax with ENTjs, too. But, in line with the Mirror descriptions, my relations with ENTjs are more verbally oriented, and we are clearly different in our J and P attitude towards life. How do you explain that if I am an INTj?Here's what i based myself on:
Phaedrus wrote:
With ENTps I can relax in a way that I can't with ENTjs.
Misunderstandings are more common in my relations with ENTps -- at least when we talk to each other. And that difference between a J life rhythm and a P life rhythm -- surely you must have an idea what I am talking about? Don't you see, and feel, that difference in the real life people you meet and in yourself?
Yes, I know some ENTps. And we have different outlooks on life, but in a different way than I have a different outlook on life in comparison with ENTjs. Maybe I and my ENTp friend can relax better because we know each other so well.Relaxing with your contrary is kinda like taking a sunbath on the edge of a volcano during an earthquake. To supress the tension, contraries have to constantly explain each other's basic outlook on life because there is usually no constructive understanding of the other party as there usually is when at least two quadra values functions are shared. There could probably be exceptions but you said you know many ENTps.
I don't know. Maybe. An ENTp may sometimes respond with silence if we are discussing something and I might criticize something. An ENTj would never do that, at least I have not encountered it. There are definitely longer periods of silence when I am with ENTps than when I am with ENTjs. And the ENTp can often be the one who is more silent than me. I am often the initiator of topics to discuss, and when we discuss I often takes the leading role in the conversation. That is not common in my discussions with ENTjs.If you are contraries, they should think you "judge them in silence" when it happens. Do you think they do?
That kind of "inner understanding" I think that I have with ENTjs more than with ENTps. At least if we are talking about verbal, logical misunderstandings. I really think that I understand how an ENTj thinks much better than I understand how an ENTp thinks. We (I and the ENTj) both try to be logical and consistent, and the ENTj usually presents his arguments in a systematic way, which is the way I prefer. With ENTps I am sometimes more in an "N-mode". I have a harder time keeping the discussion "on track". My ENTp friend says that he has to concentrate and be more logical and focused in discussions with me, whereas I have to concentrate to follow his intuitive jumps and analogies. He calms down a bit and becomes more logical, I may become more spontaneous.Misunderstanding can usually be clarified calmly because there is a high level of "inner understanding" (Which is not present with your contrary) if we may call it like that.
I'm not sure of that. I don't know how to determine it.Also, how does your relationship(s) with ENTps differ when there are other people around and when there are not?