Originally Posted by
bolong
haha.
I relate to a lot of stuff you say here, and I tried doing the same things when I was going through the worst phase of my depression. I usually never was able to wake up as early as I wanted though, or do exercise, or eat lunch at the right time.. I would get so stuck that it would never even occur to me that I should play music, and if I did think of it, I would get scared that I might hear something that triggers a memory and get depressed all over again. But if it happened that I put something on without thinking about it, the music would lift my mood so much that I would wonder what I was so upset about in the first place.
I've been on a track that I'm happy with for quite some time now, but once in a while I'll think of something depressing (usually a distorted memory of my past) and then I feel like I can't deal with the world at all - and I miss work/classes that whole day.
But one thing I've realized, is that all that good advice given to depressed people seems to be Si stuff. Getting good sleep, eating right, getting exercise. At least I see it as Si stuff. And for me, that becomes a "routine" in my head. When I put too much emphasis on this routine, it actually messes everything up. Probably bc when I pay attention to that I'm suppressing my ego function.
For example, if I have a big day the next day, and I fret about eating early, and getting to bed early, I will, without fail, not get any sleep that night and everything will go wrong the next day. And yet, I feel this paranoia sometimes that I should follow this routine, that bc of my depression I've lost my confidence in myself and can't think straight, so I should stick to the routine so I don't fuck up.
I had a big day today too, but last night my bf and I were drinking (we drink every night), watching some videos and talking, and we got excited for some reason with our conversation so we drank more than usual, stayed up really late, forgot to eat dinner... and today I had a great day. I felt like I could take on anything. And that I can move forward now to the next step, which is making this feeling the "norm."
Also, inspiration > comfort.