An Ultimatum.

[suedehead]

you sound like you have been depressed for a freakin' long time that you've associated this bleak, low, depressive state with your normal state. depression causes a vicious cycle of negative thoughts that feed and reinforce each other, making it difficult to pull yourself out of a rut. it can suck you in for years as your own thoughts and emotions lead you down even further. i would agree with @truck that you need to look outside of yourself at this point.


what about ni? does it do anything for you?

I think I find it much more satisfying to have one, refined vision of where my life is headed, as opposed to just relaxing or testing the waters with random things that don't lead anywhere, and find it a little bit frustrating when the latter approach is suggested, although I know they mean well. I can see myself doing alot of that, but find it ultimately unfulfilling.