Quote Originally Posted by kadda1212 View Post
But I think, we have the same definition of Fi, I just used different words. I just recently heard a definition of Fi, that you have that inner "moral code" or lets say set of rules, what is ok and what's not ok for you personally, and that this applies in any given situation, so it's very radical, whereas others tend to make exceptions and bend their morals and rules according to the situation (which is what I do very much). But say, e.g. your inner rule would be not to use swear words, it wouldn't matter whether you are at the opera or in a five star restaurant or at home or in a biker bar, you would still not use swear words and probably feel uncomfortable whenever you hear one. Though I can understand that you probably wouldn't push your feelings on some bearded, tattooed biker in that moment. But maybe on your children at home or maybe on your friends. But I guess, you would still always feel uncomfortable when you see someone else do something that is not ok in your eyes. Is that correct?
I do feel uncomfortable, yes. But for my mother to have reacted the way she did, she must get pretty damn uncomfortable over moral violations, too.

While I can confront people over crossed values, I don't tend to push my values onto my friends or those I live with. For example, I have some pagan friends who like to get drunk. Both of those things make me uncomfortable, and I have mentioned that I am religious and that I do not get drunk (one knows it's for religious reasons), but I'm not going to shove my values down their throats at the expense of our friendship. I had a lesbian roommate when I first moved up here. It did make me uncomfortable, and I'm glad I learned before she mentioned her girlfriend, which gave me time to react in a safe space and not put my foot in my mouth. But I would never have shoved my beliefs down her throat. I happen to like having a peaceful household. And lo and behold, I'm not exactly straight myself. Ha.

Also, not everything is universal. For example, I typically do not drink, and I chose not to have any alcohol for years. Not getting drunk is definitely a religious thing, but the Bible doesn't say that alcohol in moderation is sinful. If some personally choose never to touch a drop, that's fine. If others choose to drink responsibly... well, it does make me uncomfortable still, but they're not doing anything that I would consider actually wrong. I don't get pissy about it unless people try and use the Bible to tell Christians (or others) that they cannot drink at all, which I consider absolutely wrong. Back when I was more against premarital sex, I thought it was wrong, but I recognized that the majority of people don't care what I think and will do it anyway, so I think that for those people, they need to at least be completely honest with each other about what they want and what they are giving. I actually don't have a problem with moderate swearing, but I recognize that some people do, so I try to be careful when and where I do it, and I feel that others should do the same. I actually said something to a friend in high school because she used the word "whore" in a pizza shop, and there was a mother with a young kid well in hearing range.

And sometimes, it really just depends on who's saying (or doing) what to me. A joke from a friend, even a nickname from a friend, is very different than that same thing from someone who pisses me off (especially if they know they do) or someone who I don't see as close enough to get away with that sort of it.