Quote Originally Posted by consentingadult View Post
Like I said, I couldn't care less about her weight. It's she who does, and it's not a goal in itself, it's an enabler for other goals.

The point here is not how I can prod her, but how to support her in a way that helps her achieve her goals. To give some more background. She'll be turning 50 this year. halfway last year, she, at her own request started a program at work, where she is professionally guided being helped with a weight loss program. This is not going as expected. The coaches make her do things that get her injured, they do not take into account the condition of her knees and other joints in the legs. I and her physiotherapist already suggested she should not do these exercises, but do exercises that help her burn fat and built muscles in a way that doesn't strain her joints, e.g. by going swimming. She agrees about that. But then she goes swimming twice a week in a leisurely way, so I tell her such an effort doesn't really produce sweat, let alone it burns fat. But she doesn't want to do that. When I suggest that she does something to eat less, she doesn't want to do that either.

As far as I'm concerned. that's all fine with me. I don't have to live the rest of my life with aching knees. Should I just tell her to shut up and stop whining?
No, don't say something like that yet! Try a few other things first.

My SEI sis-in-law is overweight. She did lose a lot of weight a few years ago when my ILE brother suddenly got interested in karate and wanted the whole family to do it. She was actually better at it than him and he was so proud of her and she really loved his admiration of her progress. Then something happened to make him think the instructor was no good and he lost interest and they all quit going. She gained all the weight back. She loves to cook and is happy to sit in her cozy home with her kids and not exercise. She would do anything for them, too bad they don't want her to ride bikes or go for walks with them.

I can testfy that weight loss really helps you feel better. I went from 145 to 120 and my feet felt so much better. I could work all day in high heels and not feel bad at 120, whereas they really hurt after a long day at 145.

Running out of time right now, but I have some ideas for you that I will post later. I would avoid being impatient or controlling, that would never motivate my sis-in-law. She responds to being needed and to Ne enthusiasm. It would be great if you needed her to help you improve your diet and you helped her find some healthy new recipes. Watch Giada's cooking show. She cooks healthy and interesting and easy. She is tiny and in great shape. I think she is an ESE.
@lemontrees might be a good person to help with ideas.